Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to not-so-happy-fun metro.
Caution: not-so-happy-fun metro may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
not-so-happy-fun metro contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
Do not use not-so-happy-fun metro on concrete.
Discontinue use of not-so-happy-fun metro if any of the following occurs:
o tingling in extremities
o loss of balance or coordination
o slurred speech
o temporary blindness
o profuse sweating
o heart palpitations
If not-so-happy-fun metro begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.
not-so-happy-fun metro may stick to certain types of skin.
Do not taunt not-so-happy-fun metro.
Riding the Metro is strictly inadvisable as the services rendered by the post-apocalyptic staff may result in you suffering from a range of ailments including radiation poisoning, being eaten alive and/or having a body filled with projectiles. On the upside, if your body is filled with hi-grade bullets then at least you'll be a millionaire albeit a dead one...