I shouldn't ride the metro because everytime I do I get motion sickness and vomit all over. It has caused some pretty nasty slips, but watching everyone sliding around makes me giggle ( this seems to stop the vomiting ). Still havin' fun though.
You should not ride the Metro because Jeff has moved there... Woah Jeff you've gotten big! Attention everyone.... there is a bug in the electrical system
[J has just saved a whole subway of passenagers from being eaten alive by Jeff, the giant worm-like alien, who chewed off a half of the subway train before retreating]
[Neuralizes subway passengers]
The City of New York would like to thank you for participating in our drill. Had this been an actual emergency, y'all woulda been eaten. 'Cause you don't listen. You ignorant. How a man gon' come bashin' thru a subway win-- That's the problem with all y'all New Yorkers. "Oh, we seen it all." "Oh no! A 600 ft. worm! Save us, Mr Black Man!" And I come in, I ask ya nice move to the next car! Y'all just sit there like...
[Neuralizes subway passengers again]
The City of New York would like to thank you for participating in our drill. We hope that you enjoyed our new, smaller, more energy-efficient subway cars.