If I had no concern for my health I could write a check for 2 of those now.
I do enjoy breathing without machine assistance however.....
Does your wife drink, and if so do you know if she is able to handle the sauce? If she likes to drink but you know she can't handle the sauce, perhaps you can get her to agree to something while she is in an altered state of mind. You could have a notary present to notarize and make it semi-official.
Or maybe you can get her into this hobby called folding@home.
Of course this advice is for entertainment purposes only and I cannot be held responsible for any consequences you may suffer.
