No more Xbox 360...

Status
Not open for further replies.
Only tools believe that parents should spare the rod. When I have kids, if they aren't cowering in a corner when I arrive home, then I've failed as a parent.

I'm gonna be the bad parent, that's for sure, they can go to mommy when I'm too hard on them, but they can hate me all their lives if I want to, I'll know deep down, I'll have contributed immeasurably to them being better persons using my methods.

Shit's never been given to me, I've had to scrap for everything I've had, why should they expect a silver spoon?

Fuck that, they gonna work for it, this isn't welfare.
 
Fail said:
Only tools believe that parents should spare the rod. When I have kids, if they aren't cowering in a corner when I arrive home, then I've failed as a parent.

I'm gonna be the bad parent, that's for sure, they can go to mommy when I'm too hard on them, but they can hate me all their lives if I want to, I'll know deep down, I'll have contributed immeasurably to them being better persons using my methods.

Shit's never been given to me, I've had to scrap for everything I've had, why should they expect a silver spoon?

Fuck that, they gonna work for it, this isn't welfare.
Click to expand...

you're just saying that now because you dont have 'em right now... wait till you have a daughter and your heart made of steel will melt like an ice... :)
 
well done my friend

00PS said:
Looks like the Doc turned out okay ( ↓ ) ... His [OP's] kids will be fine. They will thank him in 10 years.
Click to expand...

so much to say, but yes, they will, I know I did.
 
MiG31_Foxhound said:
Let's start with ancillary arguments first.

If you came to possess something of sufficient value, you would kill anyone you've ever met in order to keep said item. I don't care who you are, where you live, or what your circumstances are/have been. You may call me pessimistic, but I would challenge you as both arrogant and altruistic. Everyone has a price.
Everyone does indeed have a price but, very few have a price that is met by an object. And, while we're dealing with "ancillary arguments," WTF does a person's "price" have to do with parenting? Are you suggesting his kids may hold the XBox in so high a regard that they might kill him? Let's drop this silliness down the oubliette where it belongs.

Secondly, if the only reason you do not commit murder, rape, theft, etc. is because there are law enforcement agencies in place to deter you, it leads me to believe you have a rather persistent and strong urge to do those things. Please don't take this the wrong way, but I think I'd rather not live within any appreciable proximity to you.
Once again you are making a non argument. Are you seriously equating the OP enforcing his responsibilities as a parent with law enforcement agencies tasked with preventing capital crimes by adults? If that is truly the case, I think many feel queasy about living in the same country as you.

Finally, I'd implore you to think about how your kids think. They do think, whether or not your ego allows you to contemplate such a case. It's not their thoughts he's attempting to control but, their actions.You had the right idea, attempting to "bribe" them and tie something tangible to completion of their chores. If their problems are so persistent that literally no other alternative form of communication but violence could control them, you may want to contemplate the possibility that one or both of them may be afflicted by a psychological disorder. I understand this may sound condescending, and that you wouldn't trust a rapid softening of my stance, but there's a practical side to this. If you resort to this sort of thing now, when they're ten, what happens when they're sixteen? How far are you willing to up the ante to get through to them if this behavior continues?
Are you seriously suggesting therapy or drugs for dealing with their attachment to playing the XBox? Maybe it's just the Xbox exuding some sort of unique power over them, and once it's gone they'll behave, but I don't think such a capability is included in its hardware specs.
Click to expand...

Sorry, you haven't met any criteria for calling the OP's actions violent. He destroyed an object that he owned. Maybe if you read a little more, have kids and, survive past thirty, you might have an opinion worth listening to. On second thought, I wouldn't want any more disruptive kids who not only don't know how to 'play the game' but, don't see any value in it.
 
Disclaimer: I'm not a parent, and have no idea what parenting is like.

I can understand how it can get to the point of smashing it, and how the shock is helpful to straighten them out. I think the key is moving forward.

One thing my parents did with me (I'm 25 and grew up on video games) is instituted a Quicken account that gave me an allowance. I got a small amount every week (~$5) for doing a set list of chores each week. When it came to things like video games, I was on my own to buy them. If I wanted something, the question was only "do you have enough money in your account?"

This had a life changing effect on me. I really learned, at a young age, the value of money. I would save my money to buy the things I REALLY wanted, and learned to forgo the frivilous stuff. I appreciated everything I had, because I had to save for it. Also, I took care of my things and tried to make them last, because I had so much invested in them.

Also, I learned to read the reviews. I remember buying a the star wars pod racer game for the 64, and it blew ass. I saved $50 for a crappy game, and learned that I need to do my research first.

I think something like this might help. Especially if you let them buy things together. My brother (4 years younger) and I would save to buy the next console and share it. We both understood that the other had sacrificed to get it, and we would share better because of it. Same with games and whatnot. I remember I saved $10 a week for 40 weeks in order to buy a guitar and amp when I was ~12, and I'm still the same way about big purchases today. No credit card debt, no big loans, I can easily live within my means because my parents have been training me to do so since I was 8.
 
My parents when I was growing up(I am 32 now) would NOT but me a console at all. Everyone got NES, I got a commodore 64. Everyone got SNES, I got my first 386 16mhz machine and so forth.

It really did help as I am now a network administrator for a large company. Its also probably why I am so biased toward PC gaming. But I am glad thats they way it happened, I love my PC gaming and got a career out of it too.
 
Epic! "Gar" moment of the day...

Although I think I would've sold it instead of gone Office Space fax machine on it.
 
Missing the point said:
Biggest lesson out of this *I* think is the fact that kids need to EARN what they have, as to not have them "expect" things. Then they "expect" that they can use it... no no no, you EARN the time to use it by finishing everything else first.

"WORK BEFORE PLAY!" was my Dad's motto, and it will always stick with me.
Click to expand...

I think you're missing the point.
 
LAWL! That's how things needs to get done. My friend's father done the same to his little bro.
 
My parents did something similar to my PC and PS1 when I was a kid because I would do chores whenever I feel like (ie. leaving the dishes till the morning). They thought that the video games were the cause of it. Well even after they destroyed my Playstation and my PC I would just go read a book or take a nap until I felt like doing them.

Well now 10 years later, I haven't really been addicted to any video games since Diablo 2. Since I have been playing so much video games that I find most of the new games extremely repetitive. My standards for video games remain very high. I'm actually doing chores / studying because there is a lack of video game that interests me
 
Magnus said:
Sorry, you haven't met any criteria for calling the OP's actions violent. He destroyed an object that he owned. Maybe if you read a little more, have kids and, survive past thirty, you might have an opinion worth listening to. On second thought, I wouldn't want any more disruptive kids who not only don't know how to 'play the game' but, don't see any value in it.
Click to expand...

Not suggesting drugs to take care of something that shallow. But the symptoms may indicate a greater underlying problem. One must think of all possibilities. Take your own advice and read in detail what the OP said. These kids wouldn't respond - to anything. That's not normal. People have mechanisms by which they can be manipulated. If they aren't present, or don't appear to be, there may be something preventing their functioning. And destroying something is innately violent. You display a lot of emotion, and I respect that, but you don't seem very intelligent.
 
Although I'm not a fan of wasting the xbox, I really disapprove of beating a child as some are advocating.

Main thing that irks me is the "Well, my parents treated me poorly, therefore I will transfer that suffering onto my children".
 
I like the OP's style, but agree with others that the act of taking it away sans destruction would have been equally effective. Either way, taking away the fuel from the fire is the right step.
 
Hats off to OP for doing what he should do as a parents, being aware of where his kid's attitude is heading and actually doing something about it. Sometimes a parents just have to be harsh in trying to disciplin their kids.

I was a kid myself and I know that when we're at that age, we just don't have the capacity to understand the real reason behind why we are supposed to do so and so and not do this and that. There's really no other way than for the parents to be strict and control what the kids does.
 
TheBluePill said:
i decided to "make a point" that there is more to life than the xbox and they have school and chores and all manor of things in life that they have to focus on..
Click to expand...

Disrespect toward elders solved, conflict between children solved, laziness of children solved, and lesson in consequence of actions taught in a dramatic and lasting manner. Smashing it in front of them as opposed to just making it "go away" will leave an impression they won't soon forget. Perhaps they'll realize now that as a parent you're the boss and they're the children. I'd call this a definite parenting win. You are a credit to your family, and I commend you.
 
TheBluePill: Still curious as to why you ever bought them the Xbox to begin with. Why not make the kids earn money & buy it themselves if they wanted it so badly?
 
AVT said:
TheBluePill: Still curious as to why you ever bought them the Xbox to begin with. Why not make the kids earn money & buy it themselves if they wanted it so badly?
Click to expand...

I agree, then they wouldn't be whiny little bitches
 
Fail said:
I agree, then they wouldn't be whiny little bitches
Click to expand...

Exactly! Beyond that, it'd get them to learn to manage their money early on, so they wouldn't end up maxing out credit cards the day they turn 21.
 
OP wether or not I agree with your method (and I do for the most part), at least you are trying to be a father and not a friend to your kids.

I know several psycologists, and all will tell you that you should never spank your kids and that you should talk to them and give you tons of advice on how to make it work.

But most of them have told me "off the record" that spanking IS recommended as to form discipline. I recall one of them saying "its better to have a red butt than having your butt in jail"
 
i read half of the thread and ill have to say you did well under the circumstances. Im a new father since 1 months and i cant wait to play games with my kids and hope to keep it under control...

You did what you think was the best , and thats enough for me.
 
I wish I had that kind of money to smash. I've got two kids in a hard economy... I know kids make you nuts but think first next time;)
 
I've been through all of this--it's a never ending problem with many parents.

I'll admit, I kind of live vicariously through my children because I never had anything like they do. I mean symbolically since there's no way I could have an xbox as a kid. When I see them happy, it makes me happy. I know there are pitfalls to giving too much but for now, I'll make my bed.

Concerning the OPs intent--I get it! However, I couldn't go through with breaking an Xbox360. It's not because of the cost but because of the trauma (real effin trauma) my kids would endure if I did break something they feel so connected to. Seriously, taking it away drives home a better point since there's incentive to get it back. Breaking the damn thing leaves nothing to work toward. And I don't even want to think about the emotional breakdown that will persist for some time after.

Again, I get your pain. I just don't agree with your solution. Honestly, I feel bad for your children. After all, they are just kids. Good luck with this.

I'm not judging you. As parents, we live and learn. No manual exists here. I'm just saying I would have done things differently. You sound like a good parent with even better intentions.
 
An improvement to this method would be to actually break the games, instead of the console. Much longer lasting in my opinion.
 
UPDATE:

For Shits and Giggles, I took the case off to inspect the damage. It actually held up well! The drive is toast.. but the thing still boots!

works1.jpg
 
Question to the OP: What was your intent in posting a picture of your children's destroyed XBox? At first glance it would appear to be some type of attention getting mechanism, or a need for some type of public approval.

How does that differ from your children's methods of getting "your" attention?

I concur that donating the XBox to a hospital would have been a much better method of making a point. Allowing your kids to visit a children's hospital and giving them the opportunity to donate the XBox would have been a good life lesson. It's hard to think of those alternative paths though when one is full of anger or frustration.

Every parent has different methods of raising their children. As long as you are not harming your child it's not my place to question your methods. (I'm not talking spankings as long as you are using an open hand and not an inanimate object to inflict the pain, though spanking is really only effective on someone pre-school age.)

However, since you have posted on a public forum, in a sense asking for approval, I would have to disagree with your chosen method.

At this point I would suggest sitting down with your children, asking them what they think of your chosen solution, telling them it was probably not the right choice to make, and figuring out a mutual "solution" you can all do as a family to make better of the situation. Explain to them what made you frustrated enough to destroy the XBox, and admit to them it was wrong to do. THAT will probably be enough "shock" to them that they will be willing to improve. Do it while everyone is calm and composed. Ask questions and allow your children to ask questions of yourself.

Of course, if you don't believe what you did was wrong (and hence "asking the public for approval" was really more of a "Look what I did!"), then it's a mute point. But I'd like to believe that you are experiencing guilt from your actions, and hence the reason for the post. You do have an opportunity to make it better, for yourself and your children.

(Disclaimer: I DO have kids. Two of them, straight A middle school students, dinner as a family every night, a dozen hugs per kid per day, kisses before bed, etc. The "love" and "friendship" with firm boundaries thing seems to be working just fine for me.)
 
Love it. I have 5 kids, and there have been days lately that I have been tempted to do something similar.

Growing up, my 2 brothers took our BB guns and shot the windows out of a pickup truck my dad was trying to sell. When he found out, he took the BB guns and destroyed them over his knee. It was a lesson I never forgot, and I believe it will be the same to your kids.

I just don't think donating the thing to charity would have had the same lasting lesson.
 
I remember my dad doing that to me when I was a kid. I neglected chores and started doing poorly in grade school... out came my distraction and he threw it on the driveway and burned it.... surprising how effect that method is at getting the point across... well done sir! Nice to see someone else who's willing to go that far
 
Props to you, OP for doing that. Most parents wouldn't do the hard thing and SHOW the kids that they are fed up with it. It's one thing to take the presents back to the store, but another just to throw them again. Good job, sir!
 
Not_So_Hard said:
Question to the OP: What was your intent in posting a picture of your children's destroyed XBox? At first glance it would appear to be some type of attention getting mechanism, or a need for some type of public approval.
Click to expand...

Well Dr. Freud :D

Actually, it was more of an afterthought. I'm a long time [H]ard OCP'er and every now and then we see people shooting hard drives or the like.. People seem to enjoy that, so i figured i would post up what an Xbox Looks like after a Hammer hits it.. So it was simply to share with the rowdy [H] crowd here.
 
Not_So_Hard said:
Question to the OP: What was your intent in posting a picture of your children's destroyed XBox? At first glance it would appear to be some type of attention getting mechanism, or a need for some type of public approval.

How does that differ from your children's methods of getting "your" attention?

I concur that donating the XBox to a hospital would have been a much better method of making a point. Allowing your kids to visit a children's hospital and giving them the opportunity to donate the XBox would have been a good life lesson. It's hard to think of those alternative paths though when one is full of anger or frustration.

Every parent has different methods of raising their children. As long as you are not harming your child it's not my place to question your methods. (I'm not talking spankings as long as you are using an open hand and not an inanimate object to inflict the pain, though spanking is really only effective on someone pre-school age.)

However, since you have posted on a public forum, in a sense asking for approval, I would have to disagree with your chosen method.

At this point I would suggest sitting down with your children, asking them what they think of your chosen solution, telling them it was probably not the right choice to make, and figuring out a mutual "solution" you can all do as a family to make better of the situation. Explain to them what made you frustrated enough to destroy the XBox, and admit to them it was wrong to do. THAT will probably be enough "shock" to them that they will be willing to improve. Do it while everyone is calm and composed. Ask questions and allow your children to ask questions of yourself.

Of course, if you don't believe what you did was wrong (and hence "asking the public for approval" was really more of a "Look what I did!"), then it's a mute point. But I'd like to believe that you are experiencing guilt from your actions, and hence the reason for the post. You do have an opportunity to make it better, for yourself and your children.

(Disclaimer: I DO have kids. Two of them, straight A middle school students, dinner as a family every night, a dozen hugs per kid per day, kisses before bed, etc. The "love" and "friendship" with firm boundaries thing seems to be working just fine for me.)
Click to expand...

Wow, let's hold hands untill rainbows bleed out of our asses and close our eyes and tell ourselves the world is a happy place.

How about you can it and parent your kids your way and let the man parent his kids his way, that's the problem with society these days. THEY ARE NOT YOUR FUCKING KIDS, so you shouldn't be telling ANYONE how to raise their own damn kids.
 
TheBluePill said:
Well Dr. Freud :D

Actually, it was more of an afterthought. I'm a long time [H]ard OCP'er and every now and then we see people shooting hard drives or the like.. People seem to enjoy that, so i figured i would post up what an Xbox Looks like after a Hammer hits it.. So it was simply to share with the rowdy [H] crowd here.
Click to expand...

Makes sense. :)

So... tell me about your mother? ;)
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top