The Official *Post your funny oblivion moments thread

Sabrewulf165 said:
Yeah this is quickly turning into the "make up wild bullshit" thread. Not picking on everyone or anyone in particular, but let's face it, the physics and AI in this game are not THAT advanced. Next thing you know people are going to be claiming that an NPC solved the Riemann hypothesis.
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If you're actually playing the game then take a moment once in awhile and observe the AI's behaviour, or just do something that's not completely quest oriented. You may be quite surprised at what you see.
 
thrawn42 said:
If you're actually playing the game then take a moment once in awhile and observe the AI's behaviour, or just do something that's not completely quest oriented. You may be quite surprised at what you see.
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qft

Everything I've read so far is possible and I've seen similar things happen.


My personal favorite is when I jumped off the edge of a cliff, hit the side about 5 feet below, and turned around to see a necromancer flying past me and down to the bottom, where her dead body rolled into a lake.
 
I didn't say anything in this thread wasn't possible (except the bit about the bandit throwing her bow at someone, that sounds like a bug to me), I just wanted to point out that they're good examples of how poor Oblivion's AI is in comparison with what we were led to expect prior to release. The one about the guard ignoring the bandit and attacking the mudcrab especially bothers me, because coding an if/then for target priority is absurdly simple, and yet anyone who's watched a guard dismount and run off the path all the way down to the water to hack up a mudcrab that wasn't bothering anyone knows it's a true story.
 
HydroSqueegee said:
must be one hell of a glitch since no one can throw anyhting in the game. :eek:
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You can throw/drop pretty much any object that you can pick up.

NPC's can pick up stuff as well. They can also drop items. I'd be willing to bet that if they can't throw an item, there could be a situation where one of those drops could appear to look like a throw.
 
Last night as I was doing Dark Brotherhood missions, a couple NPCs standing around talking about "all the murders lately" as well as one specific NPCs name that I had just killed maybe 10 minutes before.
 
I was locked in a tomb in the imperial city with two jerkoffs who were trying to kill me. One of them had the key. Instead of fighting him, I ran up, picked the key out of his pocket and ran away. After freeing myself from the tomb, the jerkoffs followed in pursuit and chased me until a ton of guards had swarmed up on them. I let the guards kill them and looted them afterwards.
 
Yep, I love how enemies follow you. I was getting my butt kicked in Bruma when the Necros trashed the Mages Guild. Those skeletons were owning me, but when I started leading them out the front door, the townspeople would gather around and kill them pretty quickly. Cleaned them out pretty easily after I figured that out.

Funny moment was in one of the Oblivion towers when I was fighting a Daedroth and it fell off the rampway and died. Saved me a lot of trouble... :p

I've also experienced the "thrashing bodies syndrome" when you kill certain things. Most notably was in one of the elven ruins where a bunch of those gates get raised when you hit the push blocks. There were trolls in between a lot of them and since I'm a caster I just cast spells through the holes in the gates and killed the trolls. When they died they kept thrashing around making a heck of a racket until I raised the gates up. Then it finally stopped.
 
The funniest thing I have seen so far in Oblivion is an unfortunate event I watched Steve go through. After he was given the Dreamworld Amulet that would transport him when he fell asleep to the Dreamworld to rescue some guy who was trapped, Steve headed for the inn for a nap. After buying his room and falling asleep, he was transported to the Dreamworld where he finished all the challenges and rescued the trapped guy so he could wake up again. With his quest now finished Steve headed for the door to go collect his reward but there was one small problem, the door to the room was locked and he had no lockpicks. Since the Dreamworld doesn't keep you in the room you fall asleep in, the time that Steve owned his room had expired and he was now considered a trespasser.

I know it sucked for Steve to reload a previous save but I couldn't help but laugh, not because of him being stuck, but him making an unfortunate event into a comedic effort to make the situation better. At first he did the things that seemed like they would actually work by getting him arrested like stealing items and trying to hit people with fireballs through the wall, but then it turned into dishes getting thrown around the room, and his character hiding in the rafters to wait for someone to come rescue him.
 
I had a great moment last night.

I was finishing up the Cure Vamparism quest, and had one ingredient left to collect: The blood of an Argonian.

I searched high and low for an Argonian bandit, but never found one. Finally I found an Argonian townsman who was of 0 importance to any quest ( I hope), so I cast rage on him. He went berserk and attacked a begger who was standing next to him. The captain of the guard was nearby, ran over, and started attacking the argonian. I snuck into the fray and stabbed the argonian, who promptly ran away.

Well now I'm being chased byt he guard captain for attacking someone infront of them (never mind that they started the fight. Stupid woman ;) ) So, I run outside the city and she, of course follows. Well, the guard at the end of the bridge whips out his sword and charges at me. I think I'm done for and jump over his head, only to hear sounds of battle behind me. I watch as this guard starts wailing on his captain. I jumped in to help, killed the captain, took all of her stuff, adn left her (nearly) naked corpse to rot int he sun, right infront of the guard, only to havehim looka t me and say "Have a nice day" *LOL*
 
Chad Tevelde said:
The funniest thing I have seen so far in Oblivion is an unfortunate event I watched Steve go through. After he was given the Dreamworld Amulet that would transport him when he fell asleep to the Dreamworld to rescue some guy who was trapped, Steve headed for the inn for a nap. After buying his room and falling asleep, he was transported to the Dreamworld where he finished all the challenges and rescued the trapped guy so he could wake up again. With his quest now finished Steve headed for the door to go collect his reward but there was one small problem, the door to the room was locked and he had no lockpicks. Since the Dreamworld doesn't keep you in the room you fall asleep in, the time that Steve owned his room had expired and he was now considered a trespasser.

I know it sucked for Steve to reload a previous save but I couldn't help but laugh, not because of him being stuck, but him making an unfortunate event into a comedic effort to make the situation better. At first he did the things that seemed like they would actually work by getting him arrested like stealing items and trying to hit people with fireballs through the wall, but then it turned into dishes getting thrown around the room, and his character hiding in the rafters to wait for someone to come rescue him.
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^^ I'm at the same quest now, although I keep drowning at the first part of the quest.
 
Yesterday, I completed the Cure for Vampirism quest. I went back to the count, he gave the cure to his wife, who then died in dramatic fashion. Everyone was sad, he said he needed time to mourn, and then when his dialog was finished, he turned to me and said "Look at the muscles on YOU!" (random comment NPCs make to you sometimes). His timing couldn't have been worse, made me laugh.
 
*spoliy*


I was doing the main storyline quest that requires you to steal the Mysterium Xarxes from the cultists. I didn't quite have good enough combat skills to be able to kill everybody, so I wandered around the compound aimlessly thinking about what I could do to get the book.

I had killed the sacrifice and became a member, but when I went back into the sacrifice room later, the sacrifice was alive. The main priestess or whatever she is was going apeshit and casting lightning bolts at the sacrifice... but because he is a quest related person, the lightning wasn't doing any damage to him.

I had a guy following me, so I led him into the path of the lightning. He got hit a few times, but nothing really happened. I walked up to the sacrifice and killed him, then everything went crazy. The guy following me attacked the priestess. The priestess attacked the guy following me. Three guards started attacking both of them, then the entire cultist compound ran in and it became a huge orgy of destruction.

After the smoke cleared, there was only about two survivers who died easily by my hands. I looted everything, grabed the book, and walked out without any opposition.
 
HydroSqueegee said:
must be one hell of a glitch since no one can throw anyhting in the game. :eek:
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try getting close to something..look at it..hold down the z button..then fling your mouse really fast one way..let go of z button while doing this... o my god you just threw something..
 
one time... in the game... i killed a guy with my sword.... and he was just lying there.... that was funny!.

nah jj, i like when the psyics glitch, if you walk up to any hanging lantern in the gaurd tower, go under them and jump into it a few times, move back and fourth while doing it, the results are a hilarious, that lantern freaks out and goes everywhere.

also i set off a trap and a bunch of logs crushed a guy and when i walked closer to his corpse his leg was twitching (also a glitch), looked like a scene from the movie "The Rock" when the guy gets his head squashed.
 
I have a very powerful bow (~80 damage/shot) that literally launches anything I hit with it. Well, I shot this rat with it and there was a wolf behind him and a cliff behind that. The rat hit the wolf and shot him off the cliff like a missile, then he fell to the ground where the wolf had been standing.

I killed a lightning atronach at the top of a very long and steep valley (think bobsled course). The rock pieces that he is made of, like a hundred of them, rolled down this valley like an avalanche. When everything had finally come to a stop the pieces of this atronach were strewn over a good two miles, all the way from the very top of the hill to the lake at the bottom.

I jumped off a tall cliff into a lake, thinking I would be fine. I plunged right to the bottom of the lake and died instantly on impact.

Have you met the blind moth priests yet? Try putting obstacles in their paths... LMAO!

You know how skeletons bones fly all over when you kill them? I killed one from directly above him and his bones flew out over the entire 360 degree radius, all that was left where I killed him was his skull.

I've watched a wolf drown to death... slowly. He kept swimming so I damaged his fatigue until he finally stopped struggling, LOL.

Not funny but pretty cool, I was swimming around the bottom of the lake outside of the imperial city, way way deep underwater (I have water breathing constant effect) I found an underwater entrance to a cave, it was like literally finding a needle in a hay stack.

I've shot an arrow straight up and had it come back down in a guards skull, killing him instantly.

I've drug a dead dog into somebodies bead, for no real reason other than that I could. That night I snuck in and saw him sleeping with the dead dog, lol.

I threw an apple at an enemy swinging his sword and had him hit it back to me, I didn't catch it but it came pretty close.

Try using arrows to pin things to walls and fences... it is very difficult but can be done.
 
Has anyone ever kill the horse that a guard was on?
I have had this following happen many times now.
I have a guard on Horse back come after me, I fire in his direction and the horse gets kills, but his body falls off looking dead also. But the guard is still alive, just invisable now. It's like his ghost is attacking me. His body is on the ground but his invisable ghost is still attacking me. When you kill the ghost version, the body on the ground takes the damage in the spot it's laying.

The best part is if I kill the ghost with fire, cause the body on the ground shows the fire damage.
 
Majin said:
Has anyone ever kill the horse that a guard was on?
I have had this following happen many times now.
I have a guard on Horse back come after me, I fire in his direction and the horse gets kills, but his body falls off looking dead also. But the guard is still alive, just invisable now. It's like his ghost is attacking me. His body is on the ground but his invisable ghost is still attacking me. When you kill the ghost version, the body on the ground takes the damage in the spot it's laying.

The best part is if I kill the ghost with fire, cause the body on the ground shows the fire damage.
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Usually if a guard gets off of his horse to attack me, I just steal his damn horse. It's my favorite "look how great the AI is" example. The best part is that if you already have a horse, the guard won't even think about getting on your horse to chase you. Dumbass guards.
 
I was on a mage guild recomendation quest where I needed to pretend I'm a merchant to get a rogue mage to attack me.

I had 2 battlemages backing me up. The rogue mage attacks, and so the 2 battlemages that are following me go in for the kill, then along comes an imperial guard and starts attacking the 2 battlemages for attacking (and killing) the rogue mage. The guard wins too.
 
thrawn42 said:
You can throw/drop pretty much any object that you can pick up.

NPC's can pick up stuff as well. They can also drop items. I'd be willing to bet that if they can't throw an item, there could be a situation where one of those drops could appear to look like a throw.
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Very true. I've seen npc's put an item down and then watched it fly across the room like a rocket. A lovely glitch in the physics engine. Other times i've walked into a room and all stuff on top of a table has just exploded across the room.

This one time i walked into the mages guild and one of the characters was stuck between floors his head and shoulders were upstairs and his legs downstairs sticking through the cieling. I walked over to him and after a brief chat he suddenly shot through the floor and hit the lower floor with a thud, knocking him unconscious. Was kinda cool.

Mind you. The physics makes for some kick ass moments though. Like when i had to take out the Blackwood society. I was up in the library and a mage fires a shock bolt at me. It hit the bookcases and about 200 books went flying everwhere. VERY COOL.
 
Oh and i just remembered one. I was doing the clearing out kvatch quest and the guard who helps you was in the church waiting for me to return from selling my spare weapons/srmour etc. Anyway. i get back to the church and the guards isnt wearing armour anymore, just a regular civilian clothes. I didnt think much of it and we killed a bunch more dremora guys. Then i had to leave him to open a gate. So i go running off and open the gate. When i meet up with him again after killing a bunch more dremora's. He's standing there just in his shirt. His pants have mysteriously vanished. Next i clear out the castle and go back to him again. Now his shirt is gone. He's there only in his underpants. Next thing i know he's thanking me for my help. I'm getting a little worried now as to what my reward might be. :eek:
 
BladeMrk said:
I was on a mage guild recomendation quest where I needed to pretend I'm a merchant to get a rogue mage to attack me.

I had 2 battlemages backing me up. The rogue mage attacks, and so the 2 battlemages that are following me go in for the kill, then along comes an imperial guard and starts attacking the 2 battlemages for attacking (and killing) the rogue mage. The guard wins too.
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When I did that the rogue mage started attacking the 2x battlemages, and the guard joined in and killed the battlemages, and left the rogue mage alone. So I attacked the Rogue mage, and had to kill the guard too =\
 
1) Getting my Blade to 100 then gaining the ability to paralyze my enemies. They get a pained look on their face, fall over on the ground, and they're paralyzed for a good seven seconds or so while you wail the f*** out of them! Yesterday I paralyzed a bear, he fall over like a statue, and as he started to get up he died. Result: He rolled down the hill bouncing up and down still in his statue form.

2) Today I went into a fort just for the hell of it. I cleared out one "Marauder" then got to an area that was showing seven or so enemies on Detect Life. I snuck up behind one, did a sneak attack (125+ sneak, so it HURT), then quickly backed up, switched to my bow, and launched the finishing shot. This launched the room which was apparently full of "Maurader" types and "Bandit" types into a frenzy. Everyone was fighting while I sat on the side in sneak mode. Finally it was down to one enemy left, and he started running up to where I was. Unfortunately for him I had already started moving to get a better shot on him. He ran right past me, I snuck up behind him, and took him out with one quick stab. Then cleaned up over 20k worth of loot.

3) Getting 75+ in Marksman. It makes bows REALLY fun. My fights go something like sneak attack, shot, knocked down, shot, shot, knocked down, shot, knocked down, shot, shot, knocked down, shot, dead. It's funny seing a HUGE Ogre go tumbling over, and lots of times they can't even get to me before they are dead... they fall down a lot once you get 75+ Marksman.
 
I saw 2 poeple in the same single bed @ the fighters guild. They were both facing the oppostite directions. They were also flickering, and inside each other. Some bug. :p

Wish I was able to take a screenshot. Havent found the command to allows those, in that one file. :(
 
DudeItsMe said:
3) Getting 75+ in Marksman. It makes bows REALLY fun. My fights go something like sneak attack, shot, knocked down, shot, shot, knocked down, shot, knocked down, shot, shot, knocked down, shot, dead.
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With 140 in marksman and a 40 fire damage daedric bow my fights go like this:
sneak, shot, dead, shot, dead, shot, dead... lol
 
cyks said:
When I opened the box, the dvd was enclosed in paper!
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true story--when I opened the box, there were two perfect copies of the DVD in it. I thought--no way, a two-DVD game already?!?!?! Then I realized mfg had accidently put two of them in the box. So one of my buds scored it. Wonder how often that happens?
Z
 
DudeItsMe said:
2) Today I went into a fort just for the hell of it. I cleared out one "Marauder" then got to an area that was showing seven or so enemies on Detect Life. I snuck up behind one, did a sneak attack (125+ sneak, so it HURT), then quickly backed up, switched to my bow, and launched the finishing shot. This launched the room which was apparently full of "Maurader" types and "Bandit" types into a frenzy.
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OK now I feel like a noob--when I try to switch from bow to blade during a fight I get a message saying I can't do that...
 
I went to download some free new mods, and saw horse armor for $2.50!
 
Zyme said:
OK now I feel like a noob--when I try to switch from bow to blade during a fight I get a message saying I can't do that...
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Not when you are attacking.
You have to be in the READY POSE, then you can switch.
 
What's really fun--shooting arrows at Skeletons. I'm not sure if you need 75+ Marksman for this or not, but I'm constantly popping their skulls off and launching their limbs across the room. As they get up, their body reassembles, and I do it again! I love watching the skulls fly during a fight.
 
DudeItsMe said:
What's really fun--shooting arrows at Skeletons. I'm not sure if you need 75+ Marksman for this or not, but I'm constantly popping their skulls off and launching their limbs across the room. As they get up, their body reassembles, and I do it again! I love watching the skulls fly during a fight.
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Yeah, I always blow the skeletons to pieces, but they never get back up ;)
 
CodeX said:
Yeah, I always blow the skeletons to pieces, but they never get back up ;)
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Yeah, I always love a nice, high level destruction spell for the coup de grace on a skeleton to watch them blow all to hell... :p
 
hunting for pearls underwater and finding a deer scuba diving with no sign of drowning, lol

what was more disturbing is that he was one I tried to hunt down and had an arror stuck in his ass...

just a weird sight.
 
I too vermy much enjoy watchign a flaming skelton's body explode into tiny fragments. As my primary strategy for dealign with them involves runnig into a lrage room and dancing aroudn untill my weak destruction spells kil them, I often end up with a large numer of parts in one room, looks like a boneyard.

A few funny moments come to mind:

Since the NPCs follow you aroudn their house/store, I rob them in daylight by runnign them up and down the house, stealing when the can't see me

In a dungeon, a necromancer died and go stuck in a gate in such a way her hand was violently twitching and makign an awful noise

I saw 3 Imperial woodmen or something all fighing each other, I was standing in the middle of thier triangle trying to firue out who they were shooting at untill I gave up and left.
 
shadowwyvern said:
I too vermy much enjoy watchign a flaming skelton's body explode into tiny fragments. As my primary strategy for dealign with them involves runnig into a lrage room and dancing aroudn untill my weak destruction spells kil them, I often end up with a large numer of parts in one room, looks like a boneyard.

A few funny moments come to mind:

Since the NPCs follow you aroudn their house/store, I rob them in daylight by runnign them up and down the house, stealing when the can't see me

In a dungeon, a necromancer died and go stuck in a gate in such a way her hand was violently twitching and makign an awful noise

I saw 3 Imperial woodmen or something all fighing each other, I was standing in the middle of thier triangle trying to firue out who they were shooting at untill I gave up and left.
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Yuor Speelnig Rawks!
 
this was messed.
horsestuck.jpg
 
I personally liked the mission one of the Daedric gods gave me. He thought the Countess of Leyawin's parties were boring and he wanted me to help liven them up. He gave me the spell of Stark Reality to cast on her and all the party guests. I did it and suddenly everyone was in their underwear, running around and screaming!! I thought it was hilarious (especially since I hadn't read anything about the spell and didn't know what was going to happen). Good times....

:D

Mr.Dearthian
 
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