The Nike Adapt BB Is the Latest Iteration of the Self-Lacing Shoe

Discussion in 'HardForum Tech News' started by cageymaru, Jan 15, 2019.

  1. cageymaru

    cageymaru [H]ard|News

    Messages:
    19,233
    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2003
    The Nike Adapt BB is a $350 self-lacing shoe with wireless charging. A custom motor and gear train senses the tension needed by the foot and adjusts accordingly to keep the foot snug. The tensile strength of the underfoot lacing can pull up to 32 pounds of force and the tension of the laces can be adjusted with an app. Nike promises to provide customers with new digital services and features over time with opt-in firmware updates.

    "That's where the brain, or FitAdapt tech, kicks in. By manual touch or by using the Nike Adapt app on a smartphone, players can input different fit settings depending on different moments of a game. For example, during a timeout, a player can loosen the shoe before tightening it up as they re-enter the game. In a forthcoming feature, they can even prescribe a different tightness setting for warm-ups. Plus, players can opt in to firmware updates for the FitAdapt technology as they become available, sharpening the precision of fit for players and providing new digital services over time."
     
  2. clockdogg

    clockdogg Gawd

    Messages:
    832
    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2007
    This is the future I dreamed of dreaded. Internet-connected shoe laces. In another decade, I'll be explaining to kids how we used to tie our own laces. And walk 6 miles to school. Up hill. In both directions.
     
  3. ronin4740

    ronin4740 n00b

    Messages:
    29
    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2005
    Hello? 911? Yes, I have these shoes and the battery is dead. I can't get them off my feet. Yes, I know they're supposed to fail open but the laces won't budge!!! Yes, I'll hold...
     
  4. umeng2002

    umeng2002 Gawd

    Messages:
    924
    Joined:
    May 23, 2008
    Read that headline too fast and thought it said "self-lactating shoe."
     
  5. Woody1150

    Woody1150 [H]Lite

    Messages:
    68
    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2018
    - People are too lazy to go buy their own fast food
    - People are too lazy to go buy their own groceries
    - People are too lazy to tie their own shoes

    Holy crap, I'm starting to sound like a grumpy old man!
     
  6. BSmith

    BSmith [H]ard|Gawd

    Messages:
    1,331
    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2017
    Get rid of the phone and make them voice activated,..then you have a winner on your hands. Don't forget to add programmable LED's, cooling fans, flexible OLED screens, wifi support, and 6 channel audio!

    A freaking entertainment system for your feet! Just don;t forget to turn off the streaming porn before going into the grocery store!
     
    dgz likes this.
  7. Crackinjahcs

    Crackinjahcs Limp Gawd

    Messages:
    143
    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2018
    I can see it now: "(insert favorite pro/college team to hate here) has been accused of hacking and altering the opposing team's shoes to cut off circulation and then loosen them."
     
    viper1152012, cattix and Rahh like this.
  8. joobjoob

    joobjoob Gawd

    Messages:
    545
    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2004
    I see some of the local wildlife waking up at noon:30 out zombie wandering walmart and dollar store and after creating unwanted children, tying their shoes may have been the most productive and intellectually challenging thing they did that whole day. C'mon Nike don't rob that last sliver of life from them.

    Maybe those people should get an education and learn to shitpost and facebook from your goverment job like the rest of us!
     
    Madoc likes this.
  9. NeoNemesis

    NeoNemesis 2[H]4U

    Messages:
    2,392
    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2004
    This isn't necessary. Also, what sort of features is Nike planning to add to shoe laces?
     
    cageymaru likes this.
  10. harbingerofdoom

    harbingerofdoom Gawd

    Messages:
    772
    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2007
    in the case of sports i can actually see this being a useful thing.
    in the case of my fat ass not wanting to get off the couch however? i personally have zero use for this.
     
  11. dgz

    dgz [H]ardness Supreme

    Messages:
    5,003
    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2010
    Everyone is making bank selling user data. They just want in on that.

    Every fucking thing these days has to have a phone next to it. Water boiler? It's got the smarts now! Shoes? They're smart, too. Just install the app, silly. All it needs is access to your location history, contact list, camera, and mic.
     
    Flatline, gtrguy, Madoc and 3 others like this.
  12. toast0

    toast0 Gawd

    Messages:
    902
    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2010
    Adjusting velcro straps probably takes less time than messing around with your phone. Plus it makes a satisfying noise. Who needs to tie shoes? :)
     
    B770 likes this.
  13. Wrecked Em

    Wrecked Em [H]ardness Supreme

    Messages:
    5,535
    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2004
    You can almost guarantee these will operate on some sort of subscription based model. When you decide to stop paying, your laces will default to open.
     
    B770 likes this.
  14. MavericK

    MavericK Zero Cool

    Messages:
    28,554
    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2004
    I'll stick with my current lace-less shoes that work just fine without electricity. :p
     
  15. BSmith

    BSmith [H]ard|Gawd

    Messages:
    1,331
    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2017
    Most kids I see running about the neighborhood do not have their laces tied.
     
    Madoc likes this.
  16. fightingfi

    fightingfi Look at Me! I need the attention.

    Messages:
    2,435
    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2008
    what happens when your shoes get hacked or wet can you not wear them LULZ? antifootware software updates needed!
     
    PrkChpXprss likes this.
  17. PrkChpXprss

    PrkChpXprss Gawd

    Messages:
    835
    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2003
    I imagine it is only a matter of time before this is hacked and someone's feet held ransom. "Give us the money or we won't untie your shoes..."
     
  18. fightingfi

    fightingfi Look at Me! I need the attention.

    Messages:
    2,435
    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2008
    I guess you can wear Vans slip on shoes LULZ
     
  19. Auxon

    Auxon n00b

    Messages:
    34
    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2004
    Wow, the hate here is amazing. Just don't buy them peoples.
     
  20. Galvin

    Galvin 2[H]4U

    Messages:
    2,667
    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2002
    Get off my lawn!
     
  21. BSmith

    BSmith [H]ard|Gawd

    Messages:
    1,331
    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2017
    You already bought some,...didn't you? :)

    No, no. It's "Damn kids! Get off my lawn!" Say it with me.......
     
  22. ir0nw0lf

    ir0nw0lf [H]ardness Supreme

    Messages:
    6,300
    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2003
    Self-zipping pants next? :confused:
     
    cageymaru likes this.
  23. Galvin

    Galvin 2[H]4U

    Messages:
    2,667
    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2002
    Self dressing clothes is the future
     
  24. RealBeast

    RealBeast Gawd

    Messages:
    650
    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2010
    And just exactly were is the [H]ard in that -- gotta overclock and nitrogen cool those bitches to lace up as soon as they touch your foot! ;)

    I really want a pair that will do all the running for me, send 'em over to McD's for a biggie sized "health" meal with a 64 oz cup of sugar water. mmmm
     
  25. Danny Dawg

    Danny Dawg [H]ard|Gawd

    Messages:
    1,584
    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2008
    Wow, so now instead of kids kicking each others ass to steal Air Jordans they will kick each others ass to steal a shoe lace charger.
     
  26. nutzo

    nutzo [H]ardness Supreme

    Messages:
    7,371
    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2004
    You forgot to include "in the snow" :p
     
    clockdogg likes this.
  27. sleepeeg3

    sleepeeg3 [H]ardness Supreme

    Messages:
    4,797
    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2004
    Nike and their support of women-hating hijabs and America hating Kaepernick can stuff it. I will never buy another one of their products again, until they clean up their act.
     
    Hagrid and Madoc like this.
  28. sfsuphysics

    sfsuphysics I don't get it

    Messages:
    13,660
    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2007
    $350 for a pair of shoes?

    Market audience is low income neighborhoods of inner cities?

    Sounds about right.
     
    Madoc likes this.
  29. cageymaru

    cageymaru [H]ard|News

    Messages:
    19,233
    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2003
    Hmm....... The possibilities.....

    1547578587te5d5xgdh8_1_3_l.jpg

    51bbRxz-J4L._SL1000_.jpg
     
  30. dgz

    dgz [H]ardness Supreme

    Messages:
    5,003
    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2010
    Next they'll come up with smart dildos that vibrate differently depending what kind of notification you receive. FB friend request? two short bzzt sounds. new grinder request? two long bzzst sounds. And so on.

    Now, if you'll excuse, I think dash dot dash means incoming call or something. It's still new
     
    Madoc likes this.
  31. funkydmunky

    funkydmunky 2[H]4U

    Messages:
    2,218
    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2008
    Police will love arresting the target audience of these shoes with a simple app override rendering the user Incapacitated!
     
  32. AlphaQup

    AlphaQup Limp Gawd

    Messages:
    263
    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2014
  33. cageymaru

    cageymaru [H]ard|News

    Messages:
    19,233
    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2003
    It already exists. I can't link it but it exists.
     
    katanaD likes this.
  34. Eymar

    Eymar Limp Gawd

    Messages:
    230
    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2005
    Wait does it have RGB or not? No sale if not. The next gen vacuums have RGB, pretty sure that Slightly Mad Studio thing is a vacuum right?

    EDIT: Lol it does, lights show charging level. If it shows weight level then I'm having second thoughts.
     
  35. Madoc

    Madoc Gawd

    Messages:
    945
    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2006
    So, Nike is saying that the people who buy their shoes aren't smart enough to tie their shoes on their own. How sad.
     
  36. Eymar

    Eymar Limp Gawd

    Messages:
    230
    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2005
    Why? You now live in a world where you can have your shoes talk to you as Bender "Well if you're not gonna move today, might as well have me order you a six pack".
     
  37. B770

    B770 [H]Lite

    Messages:
    92
    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2017
    OMFG, how did i ever make it 48 years tying my own fkn shoes...........
    the amount of cash they spent on R&D just to make these makes me sick. what happens if they get wet? do they come with a "100,000 step warranty" ( stepping in dog shit voids ....)wow, just buy some snake oil , what a dumb fkn idea.
     
  38. PenGunn

    PenGunn Limp Gawd

    Messages:
    350
    Joined:
    May 30, 2013
    This is amusing. One thing I can tell you is that hiking boots should fit so that you don't have to use laces to do much more than cinch up the very top. Otherwise they don't fit. Your feet will swell as you put miles on them and tight boots suck mightily.
     
  39. Eymar

    Eymar Limp Gawd

    Messages:
    230
    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2005
    In all seriousness if the tech ever gets cheap it will sell very well for parents and older people with back/arthritic issues.
     
  40. lollerwaffle

    lollerwaffle Gawd

    Messages:
    667
    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2008
    I... I am somewhat tempted, I wonder what they feel like. Plus, firmware upgrades for my shoes? Awesome.
     
    SamuelL421 likes this.