Qualcomm's Crazy CES Presentation

I like the end "Everything about this car awesome, even the sound system is awesome, it ev-" (sound man suddenly kills himself and video ends)

Some other notes I noticed. Dude looks like he aged 10 year from start to finish. Also, the acoustics change drastically, becoming more and more reverberant.
 
The actress from star trek was awful, too. Never presented live before?
 
Is it me, or does Steve Ballmer look and sound more & more like Uncle Fester every event?
 
made it to where the annoying girl kept pointing and saying you you you
 
This is uncomfortable. If I was in the audience I'm pretty sure I would have vomited my Mt Dew.

Mr. Jacobs didn't win ANY awards for stage presentations.
 
Made it to 4:36 - my ulcer is now bleeding profusely inside me.....thank you so much Steve...
 
It wasn't that painful sadly i think that is the target audience for mobile users :) . Well if the CIA is looking for new ways to torture people without getting it flying back in their face, Qualcomm are the guys to talk to ;)
 
Aside from Ballmer's Pedo-Walk, I couldn't figure out if they spent millions trying to sell us on their ideas, or gave us all a preview of gender reassignment surgery acted out by mimes.

Either way this is a snuff film and it needs to be destroyed. Furthermore, Qualcomm needs to send us money for therapy and Ballmer needs to be added to a sex offenders registry. Anyone who closes their distance rapidly between me and an exit while having their tongue hanging out is obviously thinking unclean thoughts and it makes me feel uncomfortable and dirty.

I would feel better and safe if everyone involved in the production of this "event" was ordered by court or God to wear a GPS device so that I may apply the appropriate distance between myself and what is obviously a sexual crime in progress. Thank you.
 
yea that intro was really really lame.. douch-chills..
 
I find an even bigger fail when I try to view the video on my phone.

qualcomm.com/ces

Pulled that link up on my android phone, and the first thing I am greeted with is a message that says "View from a larger screen to watch the livestream of Paul Jacobs' keynote."
"Born Mobile" and they can't even make it viewable on mobile devices.
 
kac77 said:
Aside from Ballmer's Pedo-Walk, I couldn't figure out if they spent millions trying to sell us on their ideas, or gave us all a preview of gender reassignment surgery acted out by mimes.

Either way this is a snuff film and it needs to be destroyed. Furthermore, Qualcomm needs to send us money for therapy and Ballmer needs to be added to a sex offenders registry. Anyone who closes their distance rapidly between me and an exit while having their tongue hanging out is obviously thinking unclean thoughts and it makes me feel uncomfortable and dirty.

I would feel better and safe if everyone involved in the production of this "event" was ordered by court or God to wear a GPS device so that I may apply the appropriate distance between myself and what is obviously a sexual crime in progress. Thank you.
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this

Quallcom owes everyone in the world a barf bag.
 
"Good evening, it's great to be here tonight. This is the first time a mobile electronics company has opened the Consumer Electronics Show."

And the last time....
 
NoNRG said:
"Good evening, it's great to be here tonight. This is the first time a mobile electronics company has opened the Consumer Electronics Show."

And the last time....
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That is EXACTLY what I thought when he said that. Way to blow it dude. Wtf WAS that? Can we get Balmer on the phone to get his reaction? I bet he was laughing his ass off thinking "and you guys always made fun of me!"
 
Steve said:
Holy cow, this is quite possibly the weirdest presentation you will see at CES this year. The first few minutes of this video are so bad it will seriously make you want to punch someone in the face.
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I hate you.


I watched up to the girl and the two lamers after and already thought they were being retarded. If that's how Qualcomm pictures people, and sadly, there are some like that, the rest of us are all banging our heads now.
 
LOL...love the horrible stereotypes. It's enjoyable how they also used the very worst stereotypes...I was waiting for the black guy to come out talkin all thuggish, selling drugs, and then gets killed first.

I just don't know what Qualcomm was thinking with this one...who told them this was a good idea? Did anyone OK this?
 
SilverSliver said:
At some point, there was a large meeting -- [Strike=]or several -- some hours long[/s] two minutes before the show. In that meeting, people who get paid to come up with ideas, came up with this catastrophe and collectively thought it was a good idea.

Humanity is worse off as a result, and all of the people involved - however remotely - in this project should be ashamed of themselves for the rest of their lives.
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There, fixed that for ya. I made it past annoying 'gurl' and part way through 'gamer tornado'. I cant believe they would work so hard at mocking a pretty large section of their actual user base. Next on the production schedule, McDonalds commercial with 300 lb swimsuit models. Wrestling in ketchup.
 
35 seconds in and I was already telling myself that I can't do this. Thanks to RoundArc's post I might try again, that might be entertaining.
 
I always wondered with shit like this as well as commercials, who in the fuck pitch's this garbage and who in this fuck agree's to it ? It just boggle's my mind really, I just can't believe it.
 
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