cageymaru

Fully [H]
Joined
Apr 10, 2003
Messages
21,491
Google has created new, exciting patents to eavesdrop on your home environment. One patent will scan your home and identify items in your home. So if you have a shirt from a favorite artist in your closet, it will recommend tickets to see them live. It can scan your closet to learn your taste in clothing. By combining that with scans of electronic devices in the home, and audio signatures to determine gender, Google will be able to determine your income and make shopping recommendations based on your economic status.

The system will be able to determine foul language spoken or the entering of restricted areas by children and alert parents of the behavior. It will be able to enforce lights off and ensure that children that are grounded adhere to the rules. The system will also be able to detect the quantity, type, location, description of invasive pests such as bedbugs, termites, roaches, rodents, etc in your home; create an audio and visual signature and fingerprint of your infestation, for the purpose of warning other homeowners of specific problems in the neighborhood. It will also create a signature for the toilet flushing to determine water usage. If a 15 year old male walks into a room carrying a ball and wearing a jersey, the system will suggest a NBA basketball game on TV of the team that the child is wearing. Everything is possible!

According to an embodiment, a device is positioned proximate to the occupant's bed, such as on an adjacent nightstand, and collects data as the occupant sleeps using noise sensors, motion sensors (e.g., ultrasonic, IR, and optical), etc. Data may be obtained by the other smart devices in the room as well. Such data may include the occupant's breathing patterns, heart rate, movement, etc. Inferences are made based on this data in combination with data that indicates when the occupant actually wakes up. For example, if--on a regular basis--the occupant's heart rate, breathing, and moving all increase by 5% to 10%, twenty to thirty minutes before the occupant wakes up each morning, then predictions can be made regarding when the occupant is going to wake.
 

vegeta535

[H]F Junkie
Joined
Jul 19, 2013
Messages
10,012
Why don't we just give our house keys to all mega corporation and the government already. They are basically in our house anyway at this point.
 

triwolf

Gawd
Joined
Dec 19, 2015
Messages
708
Why don't we just give our house keys to all mega corporation and the government already. They are basically in our house anyway at this point.
It's all in their plan, have everyone stacked in high rises that drive people crazy with no privacy and constant surveillance, they had called it agenda21, but they don't think they can get it done by then, so they changed it to 2030. Fight it or be ready to live it.
 

Sonicks

[H]ard|Gawd
Joined
Jul 24, 2005
Messages
1,401
Shit...at some point they'll figure out how to get your home "assistant" to whisper coded messages to you at night so you can dream ads and wake up feeling like your current life is inadequate unless you buy more stuff.

Well, it's not a surprise given how they decided to drop their "Don't be evil" stance some time back.
 

triwolf

Gawd
Joined
Dec 19, 2015
Messages
708
Well people go pay Amazon to get the house bugged so it's not surprising. People will probably love this shit too.
Really dumb, giving up privacy for convenience. The people with no ability to reason are easy to fool. Problem is when they are the majority we are all screwed.
 
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triwolf

Gawd
Joined
Dec 19, 2015
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Shit...at some point they'll figure out how to get your home "assistant" to whisper coded messages to you at night so you can dream ads and wake up feeling like your current life is inadequate unless you buy more stuff.

Well, it's not a surprise given how they decided to drop their "Don't be evil" stance some time back.
So make sure to destroy evil, it is the right thing to do after all.
 

Mike89

Gawd
Joined
Jan 27, 2003
Messages
702
Oh great. Next it will monitor your farts and send them to tweet. Would enhance the smell that is already there.
 

AceGoober

Live! Laug[H]! Overclock!
Joined
Jun 25, 2003
Messages
24,572
What next? You and the SO going at it in the bedroom and suddenly hear recommendations for adult sex assistant products?

Google Device: "We recommend buying XXX device to give her a fulfilled fealing." :facepalm:
 

SomeoneElse

[H]ard|Gawd
Joined
Jan 16, 2007
Messages
1,941
Modern day slavery I guess. Here buy our crap so we can turn you into a money printing license.....and your your life against you, and you WILL LIKE IT!
 
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Darunion

Supreme [H]ardness
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Oct 6, 2010
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No no no! They are patenting it so that they can prevent other companies from creating such evil devices. Google is protecting us. #notallheroswearcapes
 

triwolf

Gawd
Joined
Dec 19, 2015
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708
Oh great. Next it will monitor your farts and send them to tweet. Would enhance the smell that is already there.
You'd be surprised at the insane logic in this world, and when you attempt to show just how imbecile people's behavior is, usually they become hostile. Some idiots in the world like people who have spent time in jail better than college educated folks. Stupid logic makes us all stupider.
 

vegeta535

[H]F Junkie
Joined
Jul 19, 2013
Messages
10,012
While I agree that it's a good source of data, there is a difference between the phone and this.
Seems like it is. I remeber talking about getting new redwing boots with a co-worker. I had my phone laying on my desk while having that conversation. I got home and went on my computer and had a bunch of ads for redwing boots. I'm not a conspiracy theorist but fuck man it is creepy.
 

DrBorg

Gawd
Joined
Jan 22, 2005
Messages
555
Hey, this will probably lead to a whole new class of Porn stars; "discovered by google!"

:)

I'm the guy that puts tape over the camera on my laptop; after I saw the director of the CIA doing it.
 
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blandead

Limp Gawd
Joined
Nov 6, 2010
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324
Seems like it is. I remeber talking about getting new redwing boots with a co-worker. I had my phone laying on my desk while having that conversation. I got home and went on my computer and had a bunch of ads for redwing boots. I'm not a conspiracy theorist but fuck man it is creepy.

Uninstall / disable Facebook and Google+

Also opt out of all Google advertisements
 
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Biznatch

2[H]4U
Joined
Nov 16, 2009
Messages
2,224
Sounds like it's time for me to patent some kind of wearable tech that blocks these devices from being able to mine the data. Have it bombard the area with random IR/Ultrasonic/audio blasts to confuse the sensors and make the data gathered useless......
 

BloodyIron

2[H]4U
Joined
Jul 11, 2005
Messages
3,439
This consumer society we've built is hitting the ceiling. Like really, if someone was a big fan of a band, you think they wouldn't already be buying tickets?
 
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PeaKr

Gawd
Joined
Sep 6, 2004
Messages
902
threemonkeys.jpg
 

pcgeekesq

[H]ard|Gawd
Joined
Apr 23, 2012
Messages
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Dear Google Data Source:

Our audio and movement data indicates that you sex partner is not enjoying themselves as much as they should.
Please see this fine line of erotic accessories and lotions, available new and used on Ebay.

Sincerely,

Your friend Google.
 

cageymaru

Fully [H]
Joined
Apr 10, 2003
Messages
21,491
For anyone that thinks I made stuff up. :)

Open the patent. Notice that the patent is straight from Google's website.
https://patents.google.com/patent/US20160260135A1/

Hit CRTL + F to open the search box at the top of the screen.

Type in the words:

sleep
pest
shirt
child
gender
class
cloth
toilet
termite

I didn't touch on 1/10 of the stuff they can track in my post. :) Everyone should read it!
 
D

Deleted member 83233

Guest
For anyone that thinks I made stuff up. :)

Open the patent. Notice that the patent is straight from Google's website.
https://patents.google.com/patent/US20160260135A1/

Hit CRTL + F to open the search box at the top of the screen.

Type in the words:

sleep
pest
shirt
child
gender
class
cloth
toilet
termite

I didn't touch on 1/10 of the stuff they can track in my post. :) Everyone should read it!

That's a nasty mixture. I really don't want to think about pests and sex at the same time. Yuck!
 

DrBorg

Gawd
Joined
Jan 22, 2005
Messages
555
Guys, you won't believe this but this was all predicted in Sci-Fi a long time ago, by some of the greats, Frederic Pohl, Cyril Kornbluth and their peers.

Search Addmass society, it was a concept long ago.

"Those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it."

If I continue this poat, making analogies, I'll just get banned again.

THINK.
 
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