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Dashcat2 Build

Alright dude, well you can think what you want and feel the way you do. Sucks to see this build end like this. Good luck to you.
 
Mister,
I really hope and pray that you can get things right with her. This project thread is cool, but there are more important things then computer projects.
 
Sinister_kid said:
No offense, but it seems like you are beating yourself up more about this than you need to.
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What else is the man to do? Have you ever lost someone you truly cared about? The way you said that makes me think you haven't (sorry ahead of time for sounding condescending).

I think the flowers were a nice touch. I hope things turn out okay.
 
xDezor said:
What else is the man to do? Have you ever lost someone you truly cared about? The way you said that makes me think you haven't (sorry ahead of time for sounding condescending).

I think the flowers were a nice touch. I hope things turn out okay.
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Spent almost 3 years with a girl and lost her to the college atmosphere. I think I have some experience here....
 
MisterDNA said:
Eight years next month with mine. Married for well over seven of that.
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Okay, and your point? I never said I had more experience than you. Clearly you aren't thinking straight or else you wouldn't have taken offense to any of my posts. I'll do you a favor and leave this thread.
 
Sinister_kid said:
Okay, and your point? I never said I had more experience than you. Clearly you aren't thinking straight or else you wouldn't have taken offense to any of my posts. I'll do you a favor and leave this thread.
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I dont think he was trying to make a point here bro. He was kinda just saying how long he had been with his wife.

Ive been with my wife for just over 5 years here, and we have our share of problems.

Mister, I have to say bro, I love the project, but it takes second place all the time when it comes to family. Im happy you have had your revelation, I have defenitly had mine, and in my pov, I have had the same thing happen. My wife is my soul mate, and I almost lost her due to my neglect of her as well. I will never do that again to her as far as im concerned.

Love is far better cause it lasts a life time. Good luck to you in getting your soul mate back and that piece of you that can never be replaced!
 
MisterDNA said:
There's really no reason for the game. Between the game and my wife and kid, if I can't have both, I choose the love of my eternity and my little miracle. Screw the game.

My wife hasn't gone so far as to unfriend me on Facebook or anything like that so... oh shit..

Stream GO.

She wanted to be quick as hell about the divorce. I thought it was because she hated me and wanted to leave ASAP. Now, looking back from shifted perspective, she is acting more like she doesn't feel worthy of me and I did nothing actively to indicate otherwise. Shit. Shit. Shit.

Reality was the exact opposite where I felt like I wasn't worthy of her. She's an angel, as proven by her putting up with my weirdness for seven years of marriage and basically running the house while I was chasing shit that doesn't matter.

Today I sent her flowers. A big $100 arrangement. She loves flowers and I thought she thought they were pointless because they die so fast. I think I did a good thing by that. I want to give her time and space, but I also want to let her know that I care. I think I may need to bump up the care part with this new revelation.

In the honor of creation... Launch!
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I know this isn't Genmay (off topic subforum), but I have to post in here. I hope she takes you back my friend!
 
This is why I love [H], support and respect is always there. MisterDNA, I sincerely hope she takes you back.
 
Good luck in your endeavors. One bit of advice - approach your soulmate with the energy and vigor you approached this project. You have overcome roadblocks on this worklog, you should be able to overcome some in other areas of your life as well. Just apply some of that problem solving logic to it and see what you come up with.
 
Wiregeek said:
oh bloody hell.


Just don't start drinking. That never helps.
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Wouldn't think of it. She left Friday. I had two shots Saturday before my Dad advised me not to drink a single drop until this was finished regardless of the outcome. The reason was alcohol dulls the emotions and I need to feel everything at full power, both good and bad, to come out of this stronger.

I haven't had any since and I used to be the type who liked a beer buzz after work.
 
I was encouraged to talk to the marriage counselor I get access to as part of employee assistance benefits at work. While she was going to attend with me, she canceled out at the last minute thinking it was a trap meant to save the marriage.

The therapist says she's got some pretty obvious signs of clinical depression. She's trying to shotgun debug her life to figure out how to be happy since she hasn't been. It's a sketchy situation and the best thing I can do is just let it all be about my daughter and let her develop what he called buyer's remorse. I can't confront her. She has to come around about this herself. All I can do is just be nice and wait. Being nice is easy. Waiting isn't.

I have to be honest with myself, too, in that I wouldn't take her back if nothing changed.

I'm not looking forward to starting to date again, but that's a long way away.
 
sounds like you got good advice.

my dad is a marriage and family counselor and does all sorts of advising and counseling. what you said sounds a lot like what he has to tell people.

good luck!
 
Well, for what it's worth, I'll pray for you. I almost lost my marriage of 13 years to addiction myself and I know it is some of the most difficult things I've gone through on this earth. I wish you nothing but the best...
 
dalearyous said:
sounds like you got good advice.

my dad is a marriage and family counselor and does all sorts of advising and counseling. what you said sounds a lot like what he has to tell people.

good luck!
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They probably don't like to hear it, either, right?
 
oh yeah, people sometimes have to hear it 5 times.

but he usually gets a good ending to the story. but my father is an extremely rare person and seems to be able to reach the people most cannot.
 
best of luck to you sir. whatever happens, i hope the both of you find happiness.
 
Well, more clogs out of the pipes.

Turns out for the past 4.5 years (we've been married over 7) when she's been telling me "I love you." it's actually been "I love you*" (*but I'm not in love with you.)

That's a natural trend, I thought. You go from madly in love to being best friends. And she complained about lack of the little things like lovenotes and such. Lack of stuff to make her feel special. News to me. Beyond two years together, that's for guys who don't know how to thank their woman physically.

I really believe it's her loss at this point, but she is the mother of my only child and I still believe that I chose a woman with good genes, even if that's all she represents anymore. And she's being fair about my little girl who's the apple of my eye so that counts for a lot.

The project will continue. I'll pick up the pieces and get going again. I'll likely have to get an apartment again, though. The cluster might be parked in storage for a long time unless I can both find a place to put it and power it correctly. Ten amps on each of two rails at full load. I can swing that since I don't need a hair dryer after chopping my locks down to the old standby crew cut.

I'm in no real hurry to find a new mate. As a male at 30, I've got plenty of time while the soon-to-be-ex's bio clock is ticking at almost 28, which I understand. She's going to be married and pregnant again before I even start seriously dating, probably.

Shit happens. I'm still not touching the drink until after this is finished, however.
 
I just want to say, thank you, for continuing to move on with your life and not let it crumble.

Your two projects, Housecat and Dashcat, were originally what drew me to [H]ard. I eagerly await your return and any lifelong updates that should ensue.
 
It's good that you're making progress. Everything will work itself out in one way or another eventually. Just keep being strong.

I'm glad to hear that you still plan on continuing your project. I feel having a goal to accomplish and having something to work on will make times easier.
 
And she complained about lack of the little things like lovenotes and such. Lack of stuff to make her feel special. News to me. Beyond two years together, that's for guys who don't know how to thank their woman physically.
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Hey, how about that, you're both in the wrong.

It amazes me that you could have drug along for three years or so without having a serious heart-to-heart discussion about this.
 
Wiregeek said:
Hey, how about that, you're both in the wrong.

It amazes me that you could have drug along for three years or so without having a serious heart-to-heart discussion about this.
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I try to stay consistent with my approach here at the [H], even when dead serious. Those who know my manner know the sarcasm attached to that statement. Text doesn't convey emotion so one's reputation is all outside observers have to go on. I do not take offense.

While true there was mis-communication and lack of communication, it never should have gone so far. Dropping hints does not work with men, who generally prefer to be direct. Being direct does not work with women, who generally prefer hint dropping and mind-reading.

Both were at fault. I was willing to make efforts to fix it. She was viciously opposed to this. At this point, I wish her well for my daughter's sake, nothing more or less than that. Too late for much else.
 
Those who know my manner know the sarcasm attached to that statement. Text doesn't convey emotion so one's reputation is all outside observers have to go on. I do not take offense.
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You are very much correct, and I do apologize.

The project will continue.
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Best news of the thread (well at least the last couple pages!)

Have you considered finding a male roomate and sticking with the existing domicile?
 
Wiregeek said:
Have you considered finding a male roomate and sticking with the existing domicile?
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I have only had one roommate in my life and it was a nightmare I will never risk repeating. The house was financed in her name anyway and she's wanting to get rid of the debt load as quickly as possible.
 
Hopefully this doesn't offend you. Any chance you are ADHD? Ironically, hyper-focus on a single particular thing to the point of the exclusion of others if often a trait of ADDers. The attention is basically either fully off or crazy mega fully [H]ARDCORE on. I am an ADDer and I do this alot (my wife has learned how to snap me out of it), so I know how a person can feel very neglected because of it. Combine that with ADDers common lack of ability to read people and their needs and it can make for an unhappy spouse. Hopefully, I don't offend you with this comment as I am just basing it off of one trait but it tends to be one that makes people actually think they don't have it.

Once again sorry if I offend you.
 
PedroDaGr8 said:
Hopefully this doesn't offend you. Any chance you are ADHD? Ironically, hyper-focus on a single particular thing to the point of the exclusion of others if often a trait of ADDers. The attention is basically either fully off or crazy mega fully [H]ARDCORE on. I am an ADDer and I do this alot (my wife has learned how to snap me out of it), so I know how a person can feel very neglected because of it. Combine that with ADDers common lack of ability to read people and their needs and it can make for an unhappy spouse. Hopefully, I don't offend you with this comment as I am just basing it off of one trait but it tends to be one that makes people actually think they don't have it.

Once again sorry if I offend you.
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No. You didn't offend me. I am. Since before it was cool. Diagnosed at six in 1986.

Hyperfocusing is something that happens so often to me I actually give them codes in my journal, thought I switched coding systems in 2007.

1997-J code, for example, was where I learned Autodesk Animator Pro and some DOS API programming stuff in order to ask a girl whose first initial was "J" to the Prom with an animation set to music played from a CD drive. It's tradition that we get creative about stuff like that in Utah, for the record. I learned the stuff to do it and turned out the final product in a weekend. Result: Nazi teacher shot me down due to the need for a CD-ROM to be installed in the computer the girl used in class.

My journal goes like this:

1995-J code - Thousand Mile Summer
1997-J code - already mentioned
2004-A code - My new wife set me straight about some things that had had my worldview screwed up.
2006-False - Fake hyperfocus that lasted all of five months to no avail
Nature Hyperfocus (3-07 - 1/08) - Trying to find "me" in all the noise.
Tech-Mage Hyperfocus Mk 1 (1/08 - 1/09) - Beginning of new drive in life
Tech-Mage Hyperfocus Mk 2 (1/09 - 9/09) - Clearing the runway
Tech-Mage Hyperfocus Mk 3 (9/09 - present) - Go
- Depth Level 2 - Avatar - That film blew my mind
- Depth Level 3 - Supercomputer becomes real - Dashcat1 build
- Depth Level 4 - Just Like Paradise - 6-21-2010

September 2009 was when I got the Linux Networx blade system and started Dashcat1.

I've been unmedicated for a very long time because I felt it killed my creativity. What it did was keep things like this from happening.
 
I guess we can spot our own. LOL. Sounds like we were diagnosed at the same age. I am a year younger and was diagnosed in 87. It sucks to have, even medicated I can have issues with hyperfocus. It is something I am really working hard on. I hope things end up OK for you (however the actual results out come is). Unfortunately having ADHD raises chances of divorce DRAMATICALLY (I think something like 50% higher rate of divorce). It sucks.
 
PedroDaGr8 said:
I guess we can spot our own. LOL. Sounds like we were diagnosed at the same age. I am a year younger and was diagnosed in 87. It sucks to have, even medicated I can have issues with hyperfocus. It is something I am really working hard on. I hope things end up OK for you (however the actual results out come is). Unfortunately having ADHD raises chances of divorce DRAMATICALLY (I think something like 50% higher rate of divorce). It sucks.
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Shit. I'm trying an experiment based on my past records. After the Thousand Mile Summer hyperfocus, I was 115lbs of pure muscle and actually had the easiest time concentrating in school despite not having medication at all. I also didn't trigger another hyperfocus session for almost two years after that.

In 2003, I got a job that basically had me paid to work out for 12 hours a day. I didn't tag hyperfocus for another two years.

In fact, it was in 2006 that I quit the heavy labor job and went to California to work for my dad programming website backend stuff (never wanted to). Upon my return to Utah, I worked for myself for a while and then switched over to the desk work that comes with being an Electronics Tech. I've been there almost four years.

My theory is it has to do with my fitness level. Since starting desk work, I had hovered around 200lbs with peaks during the winter up in the 220s most of the time. Working heavy labor, I was 195 and built like a tank. The heaviest I have ever been was 223.

Just before the divorce, I was working on fitness and had gotten to 203lbs from 216 at the start of the year. Well, two weeks later and I weighed in just under 190 this morning.

My initial goal is 173 to get myself below the 25 BMI mark so I get the big discount on health insurance through work. I have two months to do that, I think. After that, I shoot for dead-center of the normal BMI range.

It's not just hyperfocusing I'm fighting here. My grandpa had a heart attack at 55 and almost didn't live to see me. He recovered and lived another twenty years, dying at 75 when I was 20. I don't want that to happen to me. I want to live to see my daughter become a grandma. His major problem was obesity. I'm young enough to fight it.

It's entirely possible that my married life shares blame in my body condition. My wife treated exercise as a boring chore. She was a lovely 170 when we started dating. She went on to gain slowly until pregnancy hit and she peaked at 270, dropping to 250 almost immediately after giving birth. It took three years at 245-255 for her to get medical help in the form of pills and drop to 210. And that's where she is now as far as I know and have seen.

We didn't get out much together. If the solution to the hyperfocus issue, for me, lies in physical maintenance, I just can't be with her or any other sedentary woman. I need a woman who will get out and do stuff. I admire the women I see out jogging or biking around here.

And I'll never again fall for the "It's what's on the inside that counts!" whining that has become all too common among the large set who aren't willing to put the work in. It really is what's on the inside that counts. Insulin resistance, overtaxed heart, lungs being compressed by abdominal fat when lying on your back. I've been there and never want a repeat. Big women can generally cook quite well. Problem is what they cook and how much they expect you to eat. I'd rather cook for myself than have that skill go to waste... or waist--since it could literally shorten my life.

Shallow Hal has been touted before. Gwyneth Paltrow, even in that fat suit, was still Gwyneth Paltrow at the end of the day when the suit came off. That suit only weighed twenty-five pounds anyway, not the 250 extra it was made to look like. And Diabetes wasn't part of the suit, either.

Basically, I've learned my lesson and need to both take care of my body, the only one I will have, and find a mate who does the same so we can do stuff together.
 
I'm in a very similar situation in that I'm just now realizing that I simply can't afford to work at a desk and sit all day to make money. Believe me, if I was planning on spending the rest of my career sitting all day, I would be rocking PHP and MySQL and probably be rich. But I've decided to get into a field where I still have to use my head but the only sitting I'll be doing is in the drive to and from the job site. When I think about when I was the happiest, it was when I was working with my hands (and about 50 lbs lighter). I thought that the desk and office was something I "achieved" but it turned out to just be a prison for me. Some people just aren't cut out to work at a desk and it took me 15 years to realize that but here we are. I've got to lose the weight that's killing me and move around all day...
 
yeah that would be heavy for that size.

i hit the gym almost every day and my girl does not understand why it is so necessary. but with adult ADHD or whatever they call it these days it helps in so many ways, plus it helps my stomach.
 
Yep 30 minutes of vigorous excersize has been shown to reduce symptoms of ADHD and more importantly in some people reduce the amount of medicine required. I am not one of those lucky ones. I need to get back in the gym, I don't have a desk job per se (I am a chemist) but it isn't too physically demanding.
 
PedroDaGr8 said:
Yep 30 minutes of vigorous excersize has been shown to reduce symptoms of ADHD and more importantly in some people reduce the amount of medicine required. I am not one of those lucky ones. I need to get back in the gym, I don't have a desk job per se (I am a chemist) but it isn't too physically demanding.
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I do two 30 minute sessions of cardio a day at home. I'm really only focused on losing fat right now because it doesn't do anything other than get in the way. I'm sure I'll add strength training when I'm closer to my goal.
 
dalearyous said:
yeah that would be heavy for that size.

i hit the gym almost every day and my girl does not understand why it is so necessary. but with adult ADHD or whatever they call it these days it helps in so many ways, plus it helps my stomach.
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I'm supposed to be about 150 to be dead-center in the normal range. My real target is about 160 but with quite low body fat.

I have a feeling any woman can deal with the small amount of guidance required by an ADHD type guy if said guy looks real good and has plenty of... energy.
 
MisterDNA said:
I'm supposed to be about 150 to be dead-center in the normal range. My real target is about 160 but with quite low body fat.

I have a feeling any woman can deal with the small amount of guidance required by an ADHD type guy if said guy looks real good and has plenty of... energy.
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man i hear you im also 5'10 and i weigh 210 so my bmi is about 30, body fat is a whopping 13% but im obease but im built with very large bones and a lift weights very often yet i could have a 0% body fat and still weigh 180 where as it supposed to be at max like 130-165
 
BMI is a bunch of horseshit. The data involved has little or no relationship with the real world.
 
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