The Mojo Story - Yes it's true

relic

[H]ard|DCer of the Month - August 2007
Joined
Mar 30, 2001
Messages
9,186
Thanks to Sol, who saved the story from the great forum purge.
Here it is, in all it's painful, box-mashing glory:

The Mojo Story

..and so it began....
...sitting on my kitchen floor, building a new DC box while indulging in some of the finer versions of ethanol-based liquid refreshment. Halfway through the boxen building, I realized two things....

1. I was out of good scotch.
2. I hadn't started mixing the "mojo" for the party.

Now "mojo" is a particularly vile mixture of pure grain alcohol, Cherry CoolAid powder and chunks of citrus fruits. (Please note the lack of water or any other diluent)

Mojo recipe:
4 gallons (~16 litres if you care) of 97% ethanol.
8 packages of sweetened cherry Cool Aid.
various oranges, limes, lemons, old shoes...cut into large chunks
Mix thoroughly, with bare hand, while chanting "Nothing good can come of this."
Place outside in snow to cool. (keep animals away! This stuff may kill anything smaller than a camel!)

Somewhere around the "mix thoroughly" part, the whisky, which I'd been drinking to aid in building the new DC box, kicked me in the back of the head......Hard.

This scattered my data, and made my numbers go all random, causing a nasty chain reaction of stumbling, losing coordination and dumping 4 gallon of noxious red liquid into a brand new tbird.

I don't mean "splashing a little on the box". I mean pouring 4 gallons of mojo directly into an open case, a direct hit on the northbridge. Now, as we all know, cases are not watertight. The mojo started escaping into every corner of the kitchen. I sprang into action in an attempt to contain the dangerous stuff.

Unfortunately "springing into action" isn't very easy to do when you've just polished off a bottle of whisky. So I sort of "stumbled into mayhem" instead.

My left foot placed itself directly into the PC case, crunching parts galore, my right foot then decided it wanted no part of this and left for vacation. This had the unfortunate result of leaving me with no means of maintaining my upper body's position above the floor.

Please pause here for a visual reference.

relic, dumbfounded look on his face, stained red to his crotch with mojo, one foot in a PC case, the other slipping radiply away causing an awkward "splits" position...with floor awash in red liquid.

I did the only thing I could do. I fell forward, leading with my face, into the ocean of mojo on the floor.

The resulting splash was absolutely amazing.

Bright-red, ethanol-disolved coloring reached the ceiling.

Tendrils of mojo snaked past the cabinet doors and coated the clean dishes and food in the pantry. The telephone immediately took on a pastel pink color as the mojo ethched it's way into every surface.

The moral of the story? If you remember nothing else I've said....at least remember this....never build boxen on the kitchen floor. Happy new Year.
 

mwarps

Supreme [H]ardness
Joined
Oct 6, 2002
Messages
7,013
Now THIS needs to be a sticky :D

Though it's not as happy as a nice neat of Balvenie or Glenlivet, it'll have to do! Vodka may not be 97% death, but it's way cheaper than scotch!

I'm a fan of the blue kool-aid myself :D
 

BillR

Born Again Cynic
Joined
Feb 17, 2002
Messages
18,545
You can fold, build "D" and not drink???? :rolleyes:

Don't see how.......

BillR
 

Zimmerman

n00b
Joined
Feb 6, 2004
Messages
44
Bwahaha... I haven't laughed that hard in a fortnight. Good story. Bummer about the busted hardware but don't drink and build folding rigs. This deserves a national ad campain, methinks. :D
 

rshands

Limp Gawd
Joined
Apr 5, 2001
Messages
265
Zimmerman said:
Bwahaha... I haven't laughed that hard in a fortnight. Good story. Bummer about the busted hardware but don't drink and build folding rigs. This deserves a national ad campain, methinks. :D
If I remember the rest of the story....the T-bird still worked and might be still folding. Relic is my memory correct??

rs
 

relic

[H]ard|DCer of the Month - August 2007
Joined
Mar 30, 2001
Messages
9,186
rshands said:
If I remember the rest of the story....the T-bird still worked and might be still folding. Relic is my memory correct??

rs
Yes, sir. That pink T-bird is still folding.
Mojo is magic. :)
 

Smoky

n00b
Joined
Jan 12, 2004
Messages
33
Damn me for beeing so stupid :mad: I was thinking to bump that thread just before the purge... And then forgot...

There was more of the story in the thread... I recall that relic tried to replace the components... 3COM replaced a stepped-on NIC with no questions asked... A support engineer in another company (I can't recall whether it was the MB or VC manufacturer :confused: ...) asked what had happened to the computer. relic honestly explained. Then the support engineer put him on the speakerphone and asked him to repeat the story so that the whole office could hear it. relic did, and when the laughter finally subsided, they told him they would send a replacement :D There was more...

Man I laughed hard :D
 

sharp

[H]ard|Gawd
Joined
Feb 9, 2003
Messages
1,267
T-3 said:
I'll drink to that :D
...I really thought that was neevo posting :p

...That T-bird not only worked.. it worked well, relic you posted the oc it got... definately higher than the other similar-but-non-mojo-enhanced chips.
 

pageian

2[H]4U
Joined
Mar 15, 2002
Messages
3,257
sharp said:
...I really thought that was neevo posting :p

...That T-bird not only worked.. it worked well, relic you posted the oc it got... definately higher than the other similar-but-non-mojo-enhanced chips.
I'm guessing mojo will work as a fine thermal compound. That's my kind of liquid cooling! :D
 

Sparky

2[H]4U
Joined
Mar 9, 2000
Messages
3,212
That Mojo is some badass stuff. I first tried it in the Philippines back in my Navy days. After we drank 2 pitchers and still felt nothing I stood up to go to the bathroom and it hit me like a brick wall. I then told my buddies to bring the bathroom to me as I flopped back down in the chair.
The next nite we played "Smiles" with a pitcher of Mojo. For those who dont know what Smiles is its a game played at a big round table. Everyone has a beer and in the middle is some hard stuff with a shot glass. Everyone sitting at the table has their pants down. A very easy/willing female (we used a Filipina ho) is under the table giving oral randomly and if you smile everyone drinks their beer and you drink the mojo as well.

it was one game I didnt mind losing:D
 

Bill Clo

Gawd
Joined
Jan 24, 2002
Messages
950
Smoky said:
Damn me for beeing so stupid :mad: I was thinking to bump that thread just before the purge... And then forgot...

There was more of the story in the thread... I recall that relic tried to replace the components... 3COM replaced a stepped-on NIC with no questions asked... A support engineer in another company (I can't recall whether it was the MB or VC manufacturer :confused: ...) asked what had happened to the computer. relic honestly explained. Then the support engineer put him on the speakerphone and asked him to repeat the story so that the whole office could hear it. relic did, and when the laughter finally subsided, they told him they would send a replacement :D There was more...

Man I laughed hard :D
I thought it was the video card, but you basically have the story right (as I recall)...
 

BillR

Born Again Cynic
Joined
Feb 17, 2002
Messages
18,545
I seem to recall that "pink" cpu being a really good overclocker too..some strange mystical power or something ;)

BillR
 

Ch1m3r4

Gawd
Joined
Apr 11, 2003
Messages
870
mojo seems like a [H]arder version of jungle juice.

mmm, everclear and koolaid

:D hilarious story relic
 

gnewbury

[H]ard|DCer of the Month - September 2007
Joined
May 4, 2001
Messages
2,544
Time to bring it up again!
Get ready!
/edit - tbird was an anceint processor, as powerfuls as what's in most cell phones.
Also there was a followup thread of how relic RMA'd the parts SUCCESFULLY.
 

Roman79

[H]ard|Gawd
Joined
Oct 2, 2000
Messages
1,393
Wow that brings back memories :)
I seem to remember there being pics with the original post.....maybe I'm crazy.

I got all excited when I first saw this thread...for a second I thought relic was back...then I realized it was just bumped :(

 

Pocatello

DC Moderator and [H]ard DCOTM x4
Staff member
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Jun 15, 2005
Messages
6,271
Where is relic? I like this guy! Great story?


hey Relic --- are you still folding? Where are ya at?
 

roftranspo

[H]ard|DCer of the Month - July 2006
Joined
Sep 1, 2005
Messages
3,440
Pocatello said:
Where is relic? I like this guy! Great story?


hey Relic --- are you still folding? Where are ya at?
Relic is what moosie and p[H] strive to be...i know very little of him except from lore told by the old ones ;) I beleive he is still putting up number :confused:
 

Bill Clo

Gawd
Joined
Jan 24, 2002
Messages
950
Relic is still Folding at least. #17 on the team. But he used to produce a lot more. I can't recall the specifics, but there was a big falling out on the team, and he wanted more family time (or something like that).
 

FrgMstr

Just Plain Mean
Staff member
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May 18, 1997
Messages
49,879
thanks for sharing relic, I dont think I ever read that back in the day...or maybe I did and was just as drunk. ;)
 

AtomicMoose

[H]F Junkie
Joined
Sep 26, 2001
Messages
11,803
roftranspo said:
Relic is what moosie and p[H] strive to be...i know very little of him except from lore told by the old ones ;) I beleive he is still putting up number :confused:
You are so full of shit, I can smell you in NJ.
:rolleyes:
 

Tigerbiten

[H]ard|DCer of the Month - February 2007/January 2
Joined
Sep 24, 2002
Messages
5,028
The other great story for that era was Mike McHugh's "Math Lab".
Was that one lost in the purge ?

Luck ........... :D
 

natermeister

Limp Gawd
Joined
Dec 26, 2005
Messages
463
I like that name for it. We, as in the people around where I live, have always called such a concoction 'Jungle Juice". I like Mojo better myself.
 

OSUguy98

[H]ard|DCer of the Month - April 2006
Joined
Oct 8, 2003
Messages
3,959
Tigerbiten said:
The other great story for that era was Mike McHugh's "Math Lab".
Was that one lost in the purge ?

Luck ........... :D

Was that the one that had the police knock on his door because of his power bill or something? they thought he was growing mary jane?


Keep on Folding!! For the [H]orde!!

 

chileman

Gawd
Joined
Jun 15, 2004
Messages
793
I'll be right back, gotta run to the liquor store

Fold on people! For tuxedoedShrimp

 

unhappy_mage

[H]ard|DCer of the Month - October 2005
Joined
Jun 29, 2004
Messages
11,455
chileman said:
I'll be right back, gotta run to the liquor store
Hang on, I'll get my coat and come with. :D

My favorite part of this story is how all the recipe units are multiples of 4 (or 8 if half-gallons are okay). Making any smaller amount is unacceptable :p
 

Kvothe

[H]ard|DCer of the Month - October 2006
Joined
Sep 27, 2004
Messages
8,705
Viper87227 said:
Ya know, we can put you on that distinguished list with rofty too. :p

Great story though. :D
 

FLECOM

Modder(ator) & [H]ardest Folder Evar
Staff member
Joined
Jun 27, 2001
Messages
15,697
Bill Clo said:
Relic is still Folding at least. #17 on the team. But he used to produce a lot more. I can't recall the specifics, but there was a big falling out on the team, and he wanted more family time (or something like that).
no i think he just ran into some personal issues... i cant remember its been so long... but i remember he dissapeared for a while then came back, then left again... he was modding a 2500+ AXP into an AMP for me and it took me forever to get it back... and then in my stupidity i ended burning it up by accedent anyway... sigh... :mad:

I miss you Relic hope its all going good for you if for whatever reason you read this thread ;)
 
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