I think you're wrong, there is no relief on VAT for gifts above €45. Duty and VAT are separate, and VAT is always added after the duty.So if you insure the package for 200 euro and mark it as gift, the import duty is going to be only 5 euro. Which is fine.
If the duty rate is correct then the total tax will be €205+VAT at 21% for the Netherlands i.e. €248.05.
Duty + VAT payable is €48.05
You also have to pay VAT on the cost of shipping, if it cost €40 to ship then add another €8.40
You will be also be charged by the postal service or courier for handling the customs charge, this fee covers the 'loan' for them paying the duty+tax, collecting the tax from you and repackaging a parcel opened for inspection. It will be another €10-€20.
Expect to pay ~€70 total tax and fees on a €200 case.
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