Who Needs A $100 Smart Toaster?

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How many of you want a smart toaster? Get this, for $100, the toaster (through the use of an app) will remember your toast settings. The dial on my $10 toaster does that. :rolleyes:

Claiming to help you "toast smarter," the new Bluetooth-enabled toaster lets users adjust temperature and create presets for different bread types from their smartphone, even allowing them to choose how dark they want their toast.
 
Jesus....Tech industry is getting desperate to "innovate" now days. Its a fricken toaster! Next up, bluetooth pots n pans!
 
If I can't remotely begin the toasting process, so that I can come downstairs in the morning to perfectly toasted bread, piping hot, waiting for me, then I'm not interested.
 
Waiting to hear reports of the Russians hacking our toaster's, causing them to overheat & burning our houses down.
 
Toaster: Howdy doodly do. How's it going? I'm Talkie, Talkie Toaster, your chirpy breakfast companion. Talkie's the name, toasting's the game. Anyone like any toast?

Lister: Look, I don't want any toast, and he doesn't want any toast. In fact, no one around here wants any toast. Not now, not ever. No toast.

Toaster: How 'bout a muffin?

Lister: Or muffins. Or muffins. We don't like muffins around here. We want no muffins, no toast, no teacakes, no buns, baps, baguettes or bagels, no croissants, no crumpets, no pancakes, no potato cakes and no hot-cross buns and definitely no smegging flapjacks.

Toaster: Aah, so you're a waffle man.
 
My toaster already remembers my settings, because everyone knows not to touch the fucking nob.

A perfect example of needless complexity. My wife would probably love it though, she picked out our current toaster and half the time it ejects the toast onto the floor:

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My dogs love it though...
 
Ducman69 said:
Seems really dangerous, considering how easy it would be to malfunction, burn your toast, and fill your kitchen with smoke.
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Yeah, I wouldn't buy that either. :D But, if I DID want a smart toaster... It would need remote-toast-ability. Probably LTE though. I need to be able to time it when I'm not home for my arrival. :D Oh, and it needs a robotic bread library too.
 
Apparently you need this toaster to make gluten free toast, it says so on the last button! So toasting incorrectly adds gluten? I never knew that.
 
my toaster has blue leds on it.....

seems smart enough for me, still uses 1-10 dials lol.
 
Darunion said:
my toaster has blue leds on it.....

seems smart enough for me, still uses 1-10 dials lol.
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Hmm... Seems to me those short wavelength might eventually damage your retinas... That isn't very smart.
 
I prefer the K.I.S.S principle when it comes to kitchen appliances.

Keep it simple stupid!
 
Didn't read the article (yeah, I know), but to me the only way an intelligent toaster makes sense is if it does it right for the first round of toast and the second round. It also needs to know when I have an english muffin vs a slice of bread (very different timings).

Short of that, I'll stick with the toaster I've had for 10 or 20 years (not sure which). Maybe I've got rosies on, but I've always felt the old coil toasters were better, though i do like that newer toasters don't heat up the outside. Nothing worse (or at least not uglier) than the bread bag melting onto the toaster.
 
You may not always need what they make, buit Griffin has always made stuff of pure Genious.
 
nutzo said:
I prefer the K.I.S.S principle when it comes to kitchen appliances.

Keep it simple stupid!
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I typically do too. Simple, powerful, metal where necessary, etc. For example, I love a good direct drive blender, that will completely destroy ice, with a single switch. I like the older mixers that used metal gears instead of nylon. Etc. etc. We use a toaster oven though for toast. That's the one slightly more complicated kitchen device we have.
 
J3RK said:
If I can't remotely begin the toasting process, so that I can come downstairs in the morning to perfectly toasted bread, piping hot, waiting for me, then I'm not interested.
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You can right now. Same way you can save a ton of money on a "smart" coffee maker. Smart outlet and a cheap coffee maker. Get everything ready the night before, flip the switch on the coffee pot. Set a timer for "Good Morning" or your app, and when it goes off, it turns on that outlet. My coffee maker already has a timer, so it's not too useful.

Toast sucks, though. Because the bread has to be sealed to be fresh. By morning, it'll be hard and gross. They need one that stores the bread internally.
 
Ur_Mom said:
You can right now. Same way you can save a ton of money on a "smart" coffee maker. Smart outlet and a cheap coffee maker. Get everything ready the night before, flip the switch on the coffee pot. Set a timer for "Good Morning" or your app, and when it goes off, it turns on that outlet. My coffee maker already has a timer, so it's not too useful.

Toast sucks, though. Because the bread has to be sealed to be fresh. By morning, it'll be hard and gross. They need one that stores the bread internally.
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Agree 100%. Actually, our coffee maker does have a start timer. It's pretty simplistic other than that, but it does auto-start right before I get up. It's pretty nice. However, yeah, bread is too complicated, plus I'm really picky about the toast levels, and it has to be hot enough to melt whatever I'm putting on it sufficiently. :D
 
Are you guys harvesting my other post holy shit I just predicted a machine learning toaster over on videocardz and then this gets posted. What a coincidence as I of course placing my tongue firmly in my cheek.
 
JosiahBradley said:
Are you guys harvesting my other post holy shit I just predicted a machine learning toaster over on videocardz and then this gets posted. What a coincidence as I of course placing my tongue firmly in my cheek.
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Sounds butthurt....time to unleash the [H] police on you! ;)
 
This toaster is not high end. I know someone that sells high appliances. You won't believe what very rich people pay for kitchen tools. First, you need a brand name, then you need stainless steel and fancy design. Then you can play with gimmicks and gadgets, but only a little. Triple the price and your done.

My toaster was a sort of a door prize and I'm happy with it. Probably $30 MSRP. Works fine. :)
 
If I'm going to give up counter space to a toaster, I simply use a toaster oven, which is multipurpose
 
Am I the only one who is sick of seeing bluetooth and/or wifi connectivity in things that have absolutely zero necessity for it in the first place?
 
sfsuphysics said:
If I'm going to give up counter space to a toaster, I simply use a toaster oven, which is multipurpose
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^^ that x100.

No "unitaskers" in my kitchen, except the fire extinguisher. My toaster oven is used for everything from toast, to roasting whole chickens. And at fraction the cost of my full size oven.
 
I'd pay more than that for a toaster that toasts completely uniformly and doesn't have coils or handles/knobs that will break in 2 years.
 
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