The Dirty Truth About Digital Fasts

[HardOCP News]

I like the way this lady thinks. This article is for those of us that are sick of hearing people talk about needing to “unplug,” like the internet is a disease. Give this short editorial a read and then pass it on.

Needs like creative expression. The need to connect with other people. The need to be part of a community. Most of all, the need to be seen: not in a surface, aren't-you-cute way, but in a deep, so-that's-what's-going-on-inside-your-head way. Put yourself out there online, as you truly are and with what you truly think, and you can have that experience of being seen.

 

[Monkey God]

I think taking regular breaks from whatever your daily habits are is a good thing.
:shrug:

Given how stupid most people on the internet are, how most social media is inundated with vapid attention whores and most blogs are uninformed opinion pieces, I find the occasional unplugging very refreshing.

 

[LeninGHOLA]

Yup, nothing wrong with taking a few days off here and there and actually interacting with people face to face.

 

[The Red]

I feel the whole dilemma is really born out of a studied psychological phenomenon called cognitive dissonance, experienced when a person acts not like they think they should. It's that part of your psychology that deals with buyer's remorse and picks out only good attributes of something you like while nitpicking something you don't, ignoring balanced comparison.

People want to be online but don't want to see themselves as online jockeys, they hold views of what an "online jockey" is, and they are negative views with negative feelings attached to them, so their mind has to disassociate somehow. In comes cognitive dissonance, labeling the 'online habit' a disease, or some 'necessary evil'. While its neither a disease, nor necessary, nor evil.

The real way to deal with the issue is to show people that they are not abnormal, that normality itself is fiction, or a moving target at best, and that people have been known to like other people from little more than written correspondence for centuries. It's ok to like or not like someone online, it would be more abnormal to feel nothing at other people's actions or opinions. This, especially considering how much more deeply you can express yourself online to a greater audience, while knowing the person on the other side is doing the same thing.

Online is our cure within for the social, emotional, and intellectual ambiguity induced by political correctness without. In fact, it is likely that I'm right if I were to say that every person here is more themselves on these boards than speaking face to face, to even one stranger, mind the thousands you speak your mind to online, even while statistically guaranteed to find disagreement.

Online is an appealing outlet that can in fact be healthier than the haphazard approach to connection building we try when we feel socially, emotionally, or intellectually isolated from the people around us. The only problem that happens is when 'online' becomes a complete substitute for some who like the security of anonymity, not realizing that if they can hold an online relationship of any kind with another person they can do the same offline and are not as inept as the politically correct awkwardness of random depth-less interaction makes them feel.

Remove the guilt from the notion of being 'connected' and you'll solve this problem and wont force people to resolve their dissonance with themselves through negative labeling of the habit, which is really their way of negatively labeling themselves, that can guilt-spiral into all sorts of unhealthy habits you wouldn't think are related.

Above all, to thine own self be true.

 

[TheWeazmeister]

Great post Red, and definitely right on.

 

[sfsuphysics]

I dunno I think there is something to be said about getting "offline". However it is different for different groups of people. For kids, its almost a no brainer, the "go outside and play" mentality, for adults, a little less, but if dinner time rolls around and you're still in your pajamas because you go sidetracked playing farmville all day then you need a little "go outside and play" kick in the pants.

Cell phones alone, have changed social circles, because they allow you to be within earshot of someone you know and really turn you into a bit of a hermit with everyone else. Go to the supermarket, those that are old enough remember randomly chatting with someone in line? No more, because everyone is on the fucking phone.

Alexandra Samuel is the Director of the Social + Interactive Media Centre at Emily Carr University and the co-founder of Social Signal.

Yeah, its no wonder she thinks the way she thinks, she's trying to justify her job title.

 

[Parmenides]

People? Are there people on the other end of my computer screen?

 

[ryken]

Everything in moderation.

 

[Bgrngod]

I dunno I think there is something to be said about getting "offline". However it is different for different groups of people. For kids, its almost a no brainer, the "go outside and play" mentality, for adults, a little less, but if dinner time rolls around and you're still in your pajamas because you go sidetracked playing farmville all day then you need a little "go outside and play" kick in the pants.

Cell phones alone, have changed social circles, because they allow you to be within earshot of someone you know and really turn you into a bit of a hermit with everyone else. Go to the supermarket, those that are old enough remember randomly chatting with someone in line? No more, because everyone is on the fucking phone.


Yeah, its no wonder she thinks the way she thinks, she's trying to justify her job title.

Your suggestion that talking to a stranger in line instead of talking to someone through a phone is somehow better is exactly what the author is trying to point out as baseless. There is no real reason to believe that other than following along with what has been preached to us as "socially healthy" over the years. I quite frankly dislike talking to people in lines that I don't know because 99% of the time it's just pointless small talk that I hate. Say something meaningful and I'll enjoy it, but just trying to crack a 2 second joke or commenting on the weather and I don't want to hear it. Heck, what I was told growing up was that talking to strangers is bad!

This belief that we need to go do some kind of perceived "positive" activity to counteract and balance the labeled "negative" activity is baseless. I understand the argument about having balance in life, so doing a bit of both is certainly something I subscribe to as being healthy, but going about saying one is the negative and the other is the positive is simply incorrect. They can certainly both be positive activities, but getting a mix of several positive activities is better than loading up on just one.

Maybe her job title is trying to justify the way she thinks?

 

[boss99]

Why can't a person have healthy relationships both offline and online? I enjoy reading much of the posts here, but I also like talking with my wife and coworkers too. Does everything need to be so absolute?

 

[badcaps]

I feel the whole dilemma is really born out of a studied psychological phenomenon called cognitive dissonance, experienced when a person acts not like they think they should. It's that part of your psychology that deals with buyer's remorse and picks out only good attributes of something you like while nitpicking something you don't, ignoring balanced comparison.

People want to be online but don't want to see themselves as online jockeys, they hold views of what an "online jockey" is, and they are negative views with negative feelings attached to them, so their mind has to disassociate somehow. In comes cognitive dissonance, labeling the 'online habit' a disease, or some 'necessary evil'. While its neither a disease, nor necessary, nor evil.

The real way to deal with the issue is to show people that they are not abnormal, that normality itself is fiction, or a moving target at best, and that people have been known to like other people from little more than written correspondence for centuries. It's ok to like or not like someone online, it would be more abnormal to feel nothing at other people's actions or opinions. This, especially considering how much more deeply you can express yourself online to a greater audience, while knowing the person on the other side is doing the same thing.

Online is our cure within for the social, emotional, and intellectual ambiguity induced by political correctness without. In fact, it is likely that I'm right if I were to say that every person here is more themselves on these boards than speaking face to face, to even one stranger, mind the thousands you speak your mind to online, even while statistically guaranteed to find disagreement.

Online is an appealing outlet that can in fact be healthier than the haphazard approach to connection building we try when we feel socially, emotionally, or intellectually isolated from the people around us. The only problem that happens is when 'online' becomes a complete substitute for some who like the security of anonymity, not realizing that if they can hold an online relationship of any kind with another person they can do the same offline and are not as inept as the politically correct awkwardness of random depth-less interaction makes them feel.

Remove the guilt from the notion of being 'connected' and you'll solve this problem and wont force people to resolve their dissonance with themselves through negative labeling of the habit, which is really their way of negatively labeling themselves, that can guilt-spiral into all sorts of unhealthy habits you wouldn't think are related.

Above all, to thine own self be true.

I know quoting long posts is bad form, but I wouldn't want anybody to accidentally skip over the original one. That's a magnum post. Great stuff.

 

[Methadras]

Why can't a person have healthy relationships both offline and online? I enjoy reading much of the posts here, but I also like talking with my wife and coworkers too. Does everything need to be so absolute?

A lot of people, at least in this generation aren't really comfortable with the boundaries they can set with themselves. In many cases there are very little and therefore the need to be excessive kicks in and then the levels of obsessive behavior come to the front. It's really not that hard to engage in any kind of relationship that is healthy and cultivated to derive maximum enjoyment and pleasure for both or multiple parties, but rather it's knowing when to disengage is the key I think.

 

[The Red]

I'm glad to see a couple people liked my post. I've given the subject matter a lot of thought as I've traversed these ideas and feelings, through my own life, as I grow to rely on digital content for my entertainment, work, and personal life.

I don't know if you think this would help you, but I want to say just in case it might if you're really interested in exploring this topic further or it relates to you. Its something that occurred to me at a meditation retreat about a year ago, as a counter to the dissonance felt when doing something that feels right yet its outside of the image you had of yourself. Like being online often, or enjoying things like Star Trek thoroughly but having guilt attached because of some media-perpetuated 'geek' or any other 'outcast' or 'other' and 'not like us' imagery.

It might sound silly but the solution is compassion towards oneself, and the understanding that the 'outcast' idea is not yours but someone else's, it may be in your thoughts but its still someone else's creation, you didn't think of yourself as a 'not like the rest' or any other derogatory thing.

Imagine your friend in-front of you who had just spent the night gaming, he thoroughly enjoyed every minuet of it and was exhilarated, and someone (a sibling, or roommate) decided to make him feel bad about it. You sure as hell wouldn't be the person to do that and you'd still think your friend is a cool person, right?

So the next time you experience the effects of letting others judgments in, like if you thoroughly enjoy reading National Geographic, Discovery, or Psychology Today cover to cover, and those negative self images creep in, about "people who do these things", just imagine yourself in-front of you, apart from you, and imagine that you've done this "outcast" behavior and feel bad about it... this other self, in-front of you, feels bad because of your thoughts and is asking mercy from 'you', not anyone else. Would you grant this 'person' mercy or would you continue to apply someone else's label? If it feels like the person in-front of you didn't do anything wrong and you don't understand why they're asking for the mercy from your thoughts, then you understand... so embrace them, and have compassion for yourself.

And every time these 'other' ideas creep into your head, just label them as someone else's ideas, its not your thoughts, its some other, bad, and probably self-hating entity that is opposed to you, and you shouldn't even give them consideration. Just recognize they are not yours.

And last but not least, even if you fail at removing your feelings about these things, just recognize it and move on, acknowledge the effort and continue on. And every time it happens, doesn't matter how many times you fail to change your feelings about something you did, just recognize it and move on. Do not spiral into feeling bad for not fixing thoughts about feeling bad. Watch what happens.
----------

I really hope I didn't derail the subject, just putting it out there in case someone else can use to better understand themselves.

 

[Phoenix333]

It's also nice because we non-human creatures, especially mythical ones like myself, can interact with you without the worry of ending up as world news and completely losing our privacy. Think it's fun being the phoenix? Oh yeah, immortality and all that. Yeah, it's just great setting myself on fire every 500 years and not ever having another of my own kind around. It's even better when I've had people trying to hunt me down and eat me thinking they'd gain immortality if I got cooked in a stew and ended up down their gullet. Uhuh. Just grand. It was grand before you humans came onto the scene. The best part is when I make posts like this people think I'm either trolling or just another crazy person. The internet is wonderful!

 

[Derangel]

I think taking regular breaks from whatever your daily habits are is a good thing.
:shrug:

Given how stupid most people on the internet are, how most social media is inundated with vapid attention whores and most blogs are uninformed opinion pieces, I find the occasional unplugging very refreshing.

To be honest I don't find that too much different than "real life". A lot of stupid people. A ton of vapid attention whores. And a whole crap load of people talking out of their ass about things they don't know. At least online I can ignore people like that. Its a little harder to do it out in the world, especially if you work or go to school with those types of people.
.

 

[Ibanezfoo]

I do a lot of woodworking just to get away from computers. It allows you to have something tangible that is equal in quality to the amount of work you put in. Wiring networks and programming routers or servers all day doesn't really get you any sense of satisfaction after awhile. All you hear about is when things break or go slow or whatever. Even the most inept retard will say something nice if you build a nice table. Not that I do woodworking for kudos or compliments, its entirely self serving.... plus my stuff isn't really that good.

 

[Apathy]

I feel the whole dilemma is really born out of a studied psychological phenomenon called cognitive dissonance, experienced when a person acts not like they think they should. It's that part of your psychology that deals with buyer's remorse and picks out only good attributes of something you like while nitpicking something you don't, ignoring balanced comparison.

People want to be online but don't want to see themselves as online jockeys, they hold views of what an "online jockey" is, and they are negative views with negative feelings attached to them, so their mind has to disassociate somehow. In comes cognitive dissonance, labeling the 'online habit' a disease, or some 'necessary evil'. While its neither a disease, nor necessary, nor evil.

The real way to deal with the issue is to show people that they are not abnormal, that normality itself is fiction, or a moving target at best, and that people have been known to like other people from little more than written correspondence for centuries. It's ok to like or not like someone online, it would be more abnormal to feel nothing at other people's actions or opinions. This, especially considering how much more deeply you can express yourself online to a greater audience, while knowing the person on the other side is doing the same thing.

Online is our cure within for the social, emotional, and intellectual ambiguity induced by political correctness without. In fact, it is likely that I'm right if I were to say that every person here is more themselves on these boards than speaking face to face, to even one stranger, mind the thousands you speak your mind to online, even while statistically guaranteed to find disagreement.

Online is an appealing outlet that can in fact be healthier than the haphazard approach to connection building we try when we feel socially, emotionally, or intellectually isolated from the people around us. The only problem that happens is when 'online' becomes a complete substitute for some who like the security of anonymity, not realizing that if they can hold an online relationship of any kind with another person they can do the same offline and are not as inept as the politically correct awkwardness of random depth-less interaction makes them feel.

Remove the guilt from the notion of being 'connected' and you'll solve this problem and wont force people to resolve their dissonance with themselves through negative labeling of the habit, which is really their way of negatively labeling themselves, that can guilt-spiral into all sorts of unhealthy habits you wouldn't think are related.

Above all, to thine own self be true.

probably one of the most well thought out and well written pieces that i have ever read on [H], or any other forum in general. quite an an enjoyable read. thank you.

 

[The Red]

It's interesting, in the vein of the opposite of a digital fast, I was just made to get a smartphone for my new job, just this Friday. I went from a nice, thin, old-school-yet-sleek clamshell, to the Sprint Samsung Epic 4G. A droid phone with a lot of apps I've already found uses for and linking of every online account I have together, phone, gtalk, gvoice, FB, gmail, etc.. and my use of which in these past two days could only be described as.. excessive. Yet the sudden convenience still leaves me a bit unsettled; hesitating ever just slightly to begin to post here from the device, even if excitedly hopeful and excessively intrigued by all the things I didn't know I could find uses for.

Including putting my deeper thoughts to type for this news post and the smart device transition for my first post-gradschool, true career-level, managerial IT position, that I start only this coming Monday, its been slightly intense, if a bit exhausting, how much introspection I've had to do on this topic these past few weeks, as I feel as if some invisible life balance is about to be tipped and I'm only now about to be made aware of it.

There is however a more interesting question to ponder, and curiously enough, it has to do with the principles of Zen. Where Zen exists to show direct links with the simplification of the outer world, affecting your most essential inner, mental, emotional, and even physical processes.

(By 'simple', the meaning, is through the reduction of redundant choices that can bring 'suffering' (aka: powerful ever-clinging satisfaction or ever-repelling dissatisfaction) from activity designed to do little more than feed off those feelings to perpetuate itself. ie: excessive choice-drowning food variety, purposeless home clutter, overwhelming clothing redundancy, and other tangible mind-filler with intangible results like sport, etc.. )

Which has its own paradox that is a reversal of technologies' paradox; that in Zen practice, by causing you to look inward extensively, it grants you new knowledge of yourself, making you more complex as you grow in understanding of self and others through continuing inward and outward observation, and more subtle, purposeful and thought-out interaction or lack there-of. Essentially, it makes you inwardly complex through making you outwardly simpler.
----


So here are the ultimate questions.. the outwardly, intuitively simpler but internally complex smart devices, created for integration-over-variety, but seemingly careful not to reduce said variety as to not reduce their own perceived value for being able to consolidate it... Are they truly needless in complexity, filled with human over-extension, and justify the existential irrelevance based fears of some?

OR

Are they the product of the new perceived need for technologically engendered simplification through consolidation, that even the most tech-engulfed of us are beginning to appreciate over the increasingly cluttered external complexity of technological existence?

OR

Are they simply a child of necessity born out of a sometimes seemingly chaotic process of progress, that seems so because of how demand-less it appears on the surface, at each rebirth?


Think about it, and thanks for reading, as I place all of this out of my mind and onto the screen, for my own good.

The unexamined life is not worth living.