Online Gaming: Other Adults Developing Disdain For It?

Every time I try to game online with strangers, it goes badly.

I just recently got an Xbox 360 again and I hooked up with a Gold subscription mainly for the Netflix access (no TV, weak PC). I decided to try out the online features of Fable 2 and the very first person who talked to me sent me this message: "fuk off." I guess it might have been because my "orb" was in one room for a long period of time (trying to hit the 4 targets to complete the Castle Fairfax quest - annoying!) but so was his. I immediately filed a complaint and turned off the "see everyone" feature.

Then, last night, I was playing a few games of Uno ranked matches just before sleeping and one game I ended up in contained two guys telling each other, in great detail, why the other was gay. I couldn't figure out how to mute people in that particular game and didn't want to delay my plays long enough to do so, and finally I had turn my speakers off.

I'd pay an extra $2 (or even $5, to compensate for all the people who would/should get banned from online play) per month for heavy-handed moderation on Xbox Live. As it is, whle I'd like to buy a 360 for my nephews so that we could play together online, I'm afraid that, despite activating parental controls, they'd end up being exposed to this nonsense. It's depressing to think that at some point my sister is going to [have to] turn the kids loose on the Internet and they'll become online jerks just to keep up.

PC online gaming? It works all right if you don't mind playing with the same people over and over again, but as soon as you try to break out a little and find some new folks everything turns pear-shaped there, too.

Maybe I'll enjoy online gaming more when my RL 360 friends all start getting into the same game at the same time. Today, right now, I'd have a hard time playing any of my 360 titles online because I just can't take the garbage, and playing online without communication seems to me a pointless exercise.
 
Used to love multiplayer online. Played everynight Tribes, Quake, UT etc.... Wasn't until voice chat became common place in games that I started hating it. I still play online but I try to avoid pub servers and opt for clan servers when I can. Once I find a good server I stay there. XBL I turn off the sound.
 
The post is really long, and I didn't read anything but the title -- but I'll comment anyways.

I game because I like to do so. I don't really look like a gamer. If people know I game, I don't really care. I've had one comment pointed at me once, and I asked em how much he spends on beer a month and that was pretty much the end of the conversation.

It's funny, the same guys that call people losers for playing video games, probably spend several hours a day surfing porn.
 
The post is really long, and I didn't read anything but the title -- but I'll comment anyways.

I game because I like to do so. I don't really look like a gamer. If people know I game, I don't really care. I've had one comment pointed at me once, and I asked em how much he spends on beer a month and that was pretty much the end of the conversation.

It's funny, the same guys that call people losers for playing video games, probably spend several hours a day surfing porn.

dear god...
 
The post is really long, and I didn't read anything but the title -- but I'll comment anyways.

I game because I like to do so. I don't really look like a gamer. If people know I game, I don't really care. I've had one comment pointed at me once, and I asked em how much he spends on beer a month and that was pretty much the end of the conversation.

It's funny, the same guys that call people losers for playing video games, probably spend several hours a day surfing porn.

You couldnt have missed the point of this thread any more.
 
Then, last night, I was playing a few games of Uno ranked matches just before sleeping and one game I ended up in contained two guys telling each other, in great detail, why the other was gay. I couldn't figure out how to mute people in that particular game and didn't want to delay my plays long enough to do so, and finally I had turn my speakers off.

That's just the tip of the iceberg as far as UNO goes.... that game is disturbing :eek:
 
Seems that it really depends on the games one plays.

I find the level of maturity to be much lower in WoW, Counter-strike, CoD and other mainstream games, and generally find a more mature crowd of gamers in less popular or slightly niche games. I know that doesn't help much though considering it cuts people off from playing the most popular titles, it doesn't offer a viable solution. I wonder why that is.. while one can count on the anonymity of the internet, it is much harder to get away with it in smaller communities. It's rampantly abused in games like CS, CoD, WoW, etc, but there seems to be a significant drop in douchebaggery within games that have smaller communities (AA, Eve). Heck, it was virtually nonexistent in an online MUD I played a few years ago (yes, in this decade. I was stuck with dial-up for the longest time). Still, not a viable solution to cut out half of the games, and all of the popular ones from your playlist. What can you do then?

Your best bet IMHO would be to look for a community. There are oasis's of mature gamers throughout the gaming world. This can come in the form of a guild, clan, team, or just a group of gamers with similar perspectives. Some of them even run their own servers of the games they're interested in (the "Old Dudes" from AA come to mind), which capitalize on their values and enforce a code of conduct. Guilds that have an age requirement, or are specifically for adults are another good place to find like-minded and mature gamers. The availability of them will of course depend on the servers you're playing on. One of the best places to find a more mature audience is in the RP crowd. Many people don't like the RP atmosphere, but people that take their enjoyment of the game that seriously generally tend to have fewer immature players among them. This really only applies to MMOs but I can tell you from the differences I've seeing playing on multiple server types that this seems to be the case.

Regardless, it seems that any games that have a multiplayer component to them will always be open to the immaturity of other players. While one can ignore it to a certain extent, there is only so much you can do to get away from it. The lengths one takes to do so is dependent on how much determination one has to escape it.

Internet douchebaggery will always be a factor, but at least in MMOs at least you can /ignore.
 
There were those kinds of people 10 years ago in online games, but their numbers have swelled so much that they seem to be the majority of players these days.

I remember playing games lilke Ultima Online back in 98-2000'ish and for the most part the populaton (on lake superior at least) was fairly decent in terms of maturity and things. You had pkers and those types but they were just playing that type of character, if that makes any sense. I never really had any problems with the griefer types of peoples or general immature ones.

However these days, it seems they are just the main population of any game, mmo or otherwise.

Playing on xbox live or such and you constantly encounter immature people (both young and old, I've met some 14yr olds that are more mature then some 30yr olds) that basically play to piss off other people or to grief others.

That's why it's almost a given that if you want to enjoy mmo's and most games thees days, you will need to find a good mature guild or clan.

I know in Warhammer, if I hadn't found a good guild that was fairly mature and respectable, I probably wouldn't have played it that much.
 
someone needs to create some kind of social network for gamers like us. Have a minimum age, verify identity through a 3rd party perhaps, and then collect a monthly membership fee to rent out private servers. Some might not like paying a $5-10 membership fee, but if it would mean mature gamers that use teamwork in games instead of going rambo(i'm generalizing but I would assume the teamwork would be better than in random servers) i'd gladly pay.

Or maybe i'm just crazy <----- most likely:D

I have the perfect domain name for that, gaminggeezers.com
 
You couldnt have missed the point of this thread any more.

The thread is about adults beginning to become leery of caffeinated/medicated and attention deprived children with a large does of anonymity completely destroying any thread of "community" or enjoyment in popular online games.

As such, it's not too far of a stretch that the stereotype of immaturity that gaming has and is increasingly garnering, could be directed to even adult gamers.

And on that note, telling a fat fuck to quit spending 100+ bucks on beer a month or let me play a video game a couple hours a night is at least somewhat relevant to the thread.

Come on, it's not like to started posting LOLWUT pears and posting like I was 8 years old, coked up and drinking 40's.
 
You're absolutely right.

So, you should either play only with friends or play single player. Problem solved.
 
I'll admit I am not in the adult age category but I can't help posting. When i first started playing online I only played with friends but I slowly began playing by myself more. Fast forward through being disgusted that kids my age could actually be such immature, racist, ignorant people and I found a great community. That is honestly what keeps me playing online games is the community I play with. I really didn't like tf2 but I played it because the people I played with were so awesome. I will say though that I have had equally bad experiences with people who are of adult age as I have had with teenagers. The difference is the experiences with adults tend to up with bannings, mishandling of money, and lots of bad karma.

Simply put, stop playing with mouthbreathing pubbies and find a good community. It will really reinvigorate your urge to game.

You also shouldn't discriminate because of age, I know plenty of teenage gamers who have a much better conduct than admins at large communities that claim to pride themselves on "maturity, teamwork, and respect".
 
This thread is the reason I started the Old Farts Clan in 1995. We're still going stronger then ever. Our membership requirement is that you have to be 35+, never cheat and respect the other members . We try to host our own servers whenever possible and really enjoy talking to the other members while playing.
As long as people are mature and respectful they are welcome on our servers and forum. It's all about having fun after all.
I think things are getting better now with the new Co-Op games since you have to work as a team and there are less players. Out of about 30 games I hosted in CoD Nazi Zombies, people seemed to work really well as a team.
 
I play games to get AWAY from people, but it can good fun to do the whole online/multiplayer thing. Personally, my wife keeps me up to speed on her shitty WOW experiences and the jackoffs that play on there. This then prompts her to say, "How come you don't want to play?" LOL.
 
Well I have been gaming for way longer than I'd like to admit (very much an adult gamer), but anyway. I got fed up and burnt out on the vicious personalities that exist in multiplayer games years ago. My decision to stick with singleplayer was not the perfect solution, but for peace of mind was the only one I could make. Anyone who has the temperment to deal with the a--wipes on these game servers has my admiration and wish them the best. Don't look for me on them (game servers), I'm at home enjoying my leisure time alone!
 
We have a rule in our WoW guild, that if your under 21 you have no place being in our guild. Not as much of a catch all but we don't want tweeners and teens in their not listening and being idiots. That being said we had a 28 year old asswipe that got gkicked for repeated racist jokes and racial abuse on vent. He was one of the long term guildies but he was offending people left and right and when told to stop he said "fuck off you can't make me".

Gkick and Vent ban...

Most of the little cum stains playing games need a serious kick on the crotch and/or a slap in the mouth. I ran into a kid and his family when I was picking up LK. He was with his parents (whom graduated 4 years ahead of me but I still knew) he was 14 and was whiny to the point of me wanting to smack him. I told them that they should monitor what he does in game and listen to what he says and does. They emailed me Monday and thanked me for warning them about his actions. He was overhead on a voice chat yelling, cursing and threatening someone over Thanksgiving.

They took his PC away, and suspended his WoW account permanently LOL. :D

GOOD PARENTS! My 11 year old will play WoW occassionally BUT with all voice chat disabled and no vent access.

This thread is the reason I started the Old Farts Clan in 1995. We're still going stronger then ever. Our membership requirement is that you have to be 35+, never cheat and respect the other members .....
/snip

Only 1.5 more years and I am eliglble!!:p
 
Never had a problem. I always find myself a good server and stick with it.
 
I think once reaching a certain age then things that did not bother you before start to bother you. It is funny how we used to make fun of older people and how they don't like that loud music we play but once we get older we start making fun of how noisy the new music is.

When I was playing Guild Wars religiously, I avoided playing with other people other than the guild I was on. Not following orders or how a mission is supposed to play combined with people leaving half way through a run just did not sit very well with me so I stuck to the guild for everything I do and to heros when no one needs the thing I want to do.

I think it is just getting older that is making the OP and others feel this way about online gaming. If you have a 10 year old mouthing off on xbox live and you are over 30, you will start thinking to yourself, what the hell am I doing here. lol
 
The online gamer demographic is just horrid. Reminds me of the snowboarder demographic. That said, I will still continue to enjoy both.

I was talking to a younger friend of mine last night about this. Guess his response. "Pwn the nerd and talk shit right back". Fitting, isn't it?
 
I agree with you on all fronts, Eidolon. I'm yet to reach the point of abandoning online gaming, but I've certainly migrated my playing to single player games more and more. That said, I wish I didn't have to do so.

I find myself anticipating the annoyance and frustration so much that, anyone who hasn't physically matured I'm involuntarily disliking - a knee-jerk reaction to the pitch of their voice. I've got a microphone, but hardly use it - even though I turn it on and wear it. Why would I say something when hardly anyone is going to be receptive - even just casual conversation (like, "Hello")?

Anymore, I actually prefer to play with the younger gamer (pre-teenager). They're more likely, although that's not saying much, to be respectful, simply out of innocence and their desire to enjoy the game. I think they can only take so much BS from teens and grown men before they start trying to dish it out in retaliation.

I think XBL tried to address this issue with the gamerzone designations (pro, recreation, etc), but its useless. I'm sure there isn't a solution on the service provider's end of things anyway. I do know that with today's online gaming scene, I will not provide my future children with access to such an environment, atleast not without their own proper understanding of what it is. It's a shame.
 
I think XBL tried to address this issue with the gamerzone designations (pro, recreation, etc), but its useless. I'm sure there isn't a solution on the service provider's end of things anyway.
I disagree. There's absolutely a solution, at least in more controllable environments like Xbox Live, but they're not going to want to do it:
1. When a conduct complaint is filed, a person goes on a list for monitoring.
2. Employees watch for the names on the list and join/monitor communication in games in which they're participating.
3. If the gamer is being obscene/profane.
3.a. First offense, they get a warning and their name is removed from the list (allowing for 2 isolated incidents and, basically, giving every offender at least 4 chances before real punishment).
3.b. Second offense is a one-month suspension from the service and placement on a habitual offenders list.
3.c. Third and subsequent offenses gets a habitual offender knocked off the service for a year.

Obviously, this would take some work, and that's one reason Microsoft wouldn't want to do it. A bigger reason is a desire to get the offenders' money, though this could be weighed against increased subscriptions from people who want a friendlier environment and the good PR they'd get - at least in the mainstream media - for running a more "think of the children" friendly service (the fact that my 36-year-old ass would enjoy it more would be gravy in this regard).

Another option for Microsoft would be, instead of suspending gamers as above, forcing offenders (in steps 3b and 3c) into a gamer zone (just call it "offensive" or similar) where they can only play games with other people in that zone. Gamers outside the zone could have an opt-in setting if they really want to play with those folks.

In short, get a little draconian on these people. They'll either learn how to play nice[r] with others or they can enjoy their own world.
 
The solution to the problem should also include a written transcript of what the person said being mailed to the billing address. Quite humorous to think of the ass whipping that the kids might be getting over it.

In reality though, 3 strikes you're out sounds good but should be more like 10+ over time reports (not all from one game from 10 people), look into it from MS employee or moderators they assign (maybe for free xbox live sub?). If found to be using "bannable" language, set it so the guy's commentary is recorded for a few days and if any complaints are filed then fastforward to the time stamp and ban him once confirmed. Could do the recording with or without warning, of course no warning would give the best results..but warning them could be enough to make them think long and hard about what they'd be losing and might be enough to "set em straight".

Really if everyone else in the game is OK with the language, then MS shouldn't bother doing anything because that's the way those people want to play their game. I am not entirely sure how Xbox Live works, I'd assume people can set it so only certain people can join or kick those they don't want.
 
What you will need to do is just find a server that isn't run by immature punks. If you are a Day of Defeat classic player, you could try Wrath of Khan, The Destroyers Clan, RoadHouse, or any of the Merril's Marauders servers. Of those, if you have a kid you allow to also play DoD classic, the TDC server is probably your best bet. The admins there work to keep the server as G rated as a WW2 FPS can be, and many of the members do have their own kids playing on there as young as 7 or 8...and make sure those kids as well as all other players remain civil and polite.

While you might have to really SEARCH to find like minded groups, just about every MMO out there has at least one. Runescape has (or had?) a group called the Council of Elders based on the www.tip.it website. I've been in groups in WoW and many other MMOs that catered entirely to adults...or at least those players who acted as mature as adults SHOULD act.

Rampant disrespect, lack of parental oversight, etc are a problem, but it's a problem that's always been around and always will. Don't play those servers run by morons, and ignore the few who do make their way to any server you find that does cater to the more mature crowd.
 
Same here.

I'm almost 19 years old now, and when I started playing online at about age 14, I had so many online friends I could always game with. Now my friend lists are all empty, and on Steam I only have 11 friends, all mature, and as a result almost never play.

I was invited to Quake Live beta the other day and joined a Team Death match servers and got cursed to hell and back for sucking FROM BOTH SIDES. It's ridiculous
 
You old folks aren't the only ones who get annoyed. I'm less than 20, but I get just as angry as you do over the obscene or racist stuff on games. I monitor my own chat as well. I have tried to ask people to stop before, but it's hopeless.

Oh, and age limits are only a partial solution. I started playing Eve at 16 and did a two week trial period in an "adults only" corp. By simply minding my manners, shutting up and actually listening to what I was told, I made a good impression. I told them my age at the end of the two weeks and was allowed to join. I am now close friends with several of those guys. Moral is, I understand why older players like the age limits but don't forget that there are young players out there who want to play with people just like you.
 
I don't let people rage me over an electronic medium. A person brings that stress upon themselves by giving attention to an internet fucktard. Its not even a matter of ignoring it, its a matter of reaching over and turning off your computer. Problem fixed.
 
I'm 22 and I think a lot of these +30, +35 servers show the older gamers pompous/elitists attitudes. Wouldn't it make more sense to be an example of a mature gamer to younger gamers? What makes you guys think only 30+ gamers are interested in mature gaming?

I'd say put a fee to join certain servers to help pay for the server bandwidth. Anyone who can pay deserves a shot no matter their age. If a 14 year old is willing to pay and is interested in playing nice and acting accordingly. Then why tell him off?

I remember being 16 and sick of all the bs on pub servers while playing DoD. I wanted to work together with other players. When I was 17 I joined a 20+ group. I loved the teamwork and got along well with everyone. After 6 months of playing with them I figured it was okay to tell them I was 17. NOPE! They kicked me within an hour.

F**k 'em! And f**k you elitist older gamers. Pull your heads outta your ass. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD! You think this attitude is only in online gaming? Do you guys simply go to work and come straight home avoiding contact with people outside of your family? If you do any other activities with your lives you'd realize this sort of competitive attitude is everywhere. When I played paintball a lot of rounds resorted to fist fights and insulting each others moms. Have you guys seen soccer hooligans in England? They ruined the sport.

You can go ahead and say you aren't going to do this or that anymore because of assholes, but then your really limiting yourself on what you can do. Get thick skin and suck it up!
 
I'm 22 and I think a lot of these +30, +35 servers show the older gamers pompous/elitists attitudes. Wouldn't it make more sense to be an example of a mature gamer to younger gamers? What makes you guys think only 30+ gamers are interested in mature gaming?

I remember being 16 and sick of all the bs on pub servers while playing DoD. I wanted to work together with other players. When I was 17 I joined a 20+ group. I loved the teamwork and got along well with everyone. After 6 months of playing with them I figured it was okay to tell them I was 17. NOPE! They kicked me within an hour.

You can go ahead and say you aren't going to do this or that anymore because of assholes, but then your really limiting yourself on what you can do. Get thick skin and suck it up!

I know a lot of guilds I was in had a lot of flirting and 18 and over commentary that no one had a problem with, and it was meant to be humorous to make the raiding be a little more light hearted. But having some of that talk around someone who was 17 or younger could open yourself up to one of those underage people making accusations that could easily ruin your life true or not. Which is why unless I knew specifically that I was in a passworded channel or I knew the approximate ages of everyone in the channel with me, I barely spoke because some people didn't really check people out much when they invited them.

Had issues with some of the under 18 players along with their older friends stealing from the guild bank in WOW as one of those free server transfers came up and pretty much cleaned it out then bailed. And they tried to play the age card, and then started saying I was making death threats to them and all kinds of fun things when I found and removed their alts from the guild. Had to have the GMs intervene as one guy in particular would make a new character and accuse me of stuff in the public channels every other day for an hour or two. Got accused of all kinds of fun things by the people who robbed the guild and took off to a new server.

So bottomline, under 18 crowd = possible legal issues most people don't want to deal with. Between 18 and 25 = a lot of people who can't seem to control themselves (by this I mean these typically tend to be the "Im so wasted" players), which can be humorous to an extent but it can be taken too far. And that's where the 30+ crowds come in, at least you're somewhat guaranteed a stable, consistent personality...even if they are an asshole and you can deal with them on a personality basis then.
 
I'm 24 and I hope I never become the pompous elitist that many 30+ year old players are. Specifically I'm talking parents. It seems that once you have a baby, it's a get-out-of-jail card to be a arrogant about anything and everything. To be as close-minded as possible.

Disagree with something a younger guy says? "Oh, I'm a father. Are you a father (younger male with opposing opinion). No? I must be right then." For anyone who thinks that being a parent or being older is a sign of maturity? Go to little league games. Pee-wee football. Hell pee-wee anything. Elitist parents go ape shit over stupid thing like their kid being on the bench for more than a minute.
 
I'm 24 and I hope I never become the pompous elitist that many 30+ year old players are. Specifically I'm talking parents. It seems that once you have a baby, it's a get-out-of-jail card to be a arrogant about anything and everything. To be as close-minded as possible.

Disagree with something a younger guy says? "Oh, I'm a father. Are you a father (younger male with opposing opinion). No? I must be right then." For anyone who thinks that being a parent or being older is a sign of maturity? Go to little league games. Pee-wee football. Hell pee-wee anything. Elitist parents go ape shit over stupid thing like their kid being on the bench for more than a minute.

Agreed. Last time I checked, anybody with working sperm can be a father and when that baby pops out, it doesn't come along with a magical box of maturity or intelligence. I wouldn't worry about yourself turning into one of them, the mindset going in is half the battle.
 
Since the begining of this year, I pretty much stopped playing online. Every single time I log in there is either:

A cursing kid (over mic and/or text)
People exploiting gameplay mechanics/cheating/hacking
People not playing the way they should (I.E people running around with knives all the time when you're obviously supposed to be shooting)

There's just no joy in multiplayer 95 percent of the time. In every single server I join there is one or more of the above going on and it just makes me sad and frustrates me. I want to play with people who have respect for others and themselves, and to play the game the way it's meant to be played, why is it so rare nowdays?
 
I'm 24 and I hope I never become the pompous elitist that many 30+ year old players are. Specifically I'm talking parents. It seems that once you have a baby, it's a get-out-of-jail card to be a arrogant about anything and everything. To be as close-minded as possible.

Disagree with something a younger guy says? "Oh, I'm a father. Are you a father (younger male with opposing opinion). No? I must be right then." For anyone who thinks that being a parent or being older is a sign of maturity? Go to little league games. Pee-wee football. Hell pee-wee anything. Elitist parents go ape shit over stupid thing like their kid being on the bench for more than a minute.

I believe the ratio of dumbsh*ts to "good" players is quite a bit higher in the <30 crowd. I'd rather have an elitist pompous douche that I can have a good game with than the younger morons who are just as bad, yet I can't have a decent game with.

This is speaking in generalities of course. I am 20 btw.
 
comments like this are relatively true.
About 3-4 years ago I loved to play online games, and didnt pay alot of attention to other people unless I was killing them, but now, its the 8 year old kids who convince there mothers to buy them socom, halo, stuff like that that bothers me. They get on and they get 1 kill and shout and scream over the mic of how much better than you they are and than they begin to play 24/7 and never stop.

Due to this I already had to stop playing Socom: Confrontation and World at War
 
I read about 1/2 of your post and I said to myself "yeah, that's the absurdity of online gaming...that's I why I don't play online"

I realize such a vague generalization isn't a sufficient reply to such a lengthy post, but that's the reality of it. I played Guild Wars religiously years back (400 hours) and a couple of others off and on before that. What you described is the state of online gaming, not just today, but to some extent (as I have experienced it) it has always been like that.

Between the monthly fees, crappy graphics, over-balancing (believe it's called nerfing) and borderline sociopathic teammates that are slightly less capable then AI bots, I realized the futility of online gaming.

Not to mention the time it takes to form a party, which is immediately thwarted by two of your teammates dropping out or sabotaging your run. I spend half my time chatting and reading lines of acronyms and jargon, and here's the other major pitfall...no way to pause the damn thing!!! Someone comes to my door, I have to take a piss, someone calls me, I only have 1 hour kill...you name it.

All of this also = no social life. If I want to interact with people and chat, I'll go out. Anyway, it seems like you're just getting older (much like myself) and have outgrown the genre. IMO the online scene has always been like this and it's you that have changed, which is perfectly natural, but you're tolerance for indecency has probably changed.

I do agree with most of your points about the state of society and the anonymity of the internet, but I believe my first statement holds true, it's just what it is, sad yes...

The thing is, having a real deep social life requires quite a lot of money. Everytime you go out it costs a lot more than the mere monthly fee of a MMO. In online gaming like an MMO there's a lot of shit to do and talk about after. To have the same deep interaction in real life you need to have a lot of friends and quite a lot of money and dedication. Call me sick but I feel like having a close mature cyber friend circle is much more 'rewarding' in a weird way hmmm. You need to put up with so much bullshit in 'real life' too

I fully agree and understand the OP. I hate playing with kids...it's just frustrating. That's the main reason why I can't tolerate XBOX Live! It's like PC gaming gone 100x worse in terms of maturity level...and PC gaming is pretty damn bad right now
 
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