If you want realism then nothing beats Falcon 4.0. It's more of a simulator than a game. If you can handle flying a one-hour long CAP mission, do no shooting, and RTB, then it's a game for you. If you are looking to blow things up, then look for something else.
It's a twelve-year old game with a big modding community but its real time campaign mode and realistic avionics have yet be surpassed today.
would this help me learn to eventually fly a real plane? any suggestions on that front?