Killing me softly with ..????

[Thunder888]

This is a first. Instead of looking for help to fix a pc, I'm looking for
help in killing one

At my current place of employment, it is deemed that an employee shall use the oldest and most useless pc until he/she or it dies. I prefer the second option. Everyone else has nice laptops with all the whistles and bells, but I'm stuck with an Intel 82443 chipset running a Pentium Celeron @ 300MHz.

Now, if this bitch doesn't die, I'll never get something better.

I don't want to physically damage the machine, I'm just looking for a way to kill it. If the local techie can't fix it, I'll be recommended for an upgrade

What can be done to kill this dinosaur? Perhaps a BIOS setting, or the like? It can't be just software, must be something more serious!

Any help will be appreciated

 

[Buckus]

well, after safely backing up all your files, you could accidentally spill a cup of coffee all over it's intakes and stuff...

 

[chockomonkey]

you could try going into the bios and screwing up the voltage to certain things, frying them... and turn off the automatic shut off for too high of temps...

 

[Thunder888]

It's going to take a minor miracle to spill coffee on this behemoth - it's located under the desk in a steel case. Not easily accesible.

Screwing with the BIOS settings is, I think, my best chance. Unfortunately, this old clunker doesn't even have voltage or temp sensors!

I've thought of changing the display to AGP instead od PCI, as I've had that problem before where it looks like the machine died, but I'm not sure if the techy will pick this up. He'll prolly only do a BIOS CMOS clear.

Any more ideas?

 

[Thunder888]

Cancel that - I just had a look at the BIOS. No such luck

The BIOS doesn't have any remotely damaging settings

The bloody case is screwed so tight, I can't open it. Does an old Celeron have a heatsink on it?

Maybe just jar the sink of the cpu? With my luck, this old mofo won't even overheat. Shit.

I'll just wait till everybody's gone and I'll open a can of whoopcpu on this baby Hey-hey-hey. Employee of the month, my ass.

 

[Millow]

i read about this one somewhere else. stick a chop stick in the power supply fan in the back, and go on lunch break.

 

[Thunder888]

Millow - you're a genius!

Shit - now that's a good idea. Brilliant.

Thanks!

 

[haroldmeyer]

Let my 5 year old girl operate it for a day! I guarentee she'll jack it up beyond repair.

 

[Syphon Filter]

hrm also...if u switch the PSU power switch on and off quickly several times in succession it will blow the PSU...also when no one is around you could as you say jar the machine...preferably while running so u duff the disks...

 

[Thunder888]

Shit - now we're getting to the good stuff!

I knew I could count on the [H] guys to help me sort this baby out!

Keep 'em coming

 

[Syphon Filter]

i am trying to think of a way that will kill the mobo and CPU...will let you know when i think of something

BTW whats this 4D gaming mouse you have listed in ur sig?

 

[Keith130]

What about changing the voltage setting on the back of the PSU, or is that likely to make it go up in flames rather than kill it?

 

[Syphon Filter]

just thought of a simple thing to do...find a BIOS updater program for it and an actual BIOS.

Open the bios file in notepad or something and change it. Then flash to this file. That should frag the BIOS making it totally FUBAR.

 

[Xerus]

if you could get into the case you could rip a couple capacitors and such off the motherboard. Just cut of the littles wires that attach it to the mobo and no one would be the wiser...