"How to write unmaintainable code"

[roberttran]

Hey,

Hope it isn't a repost. I saw this on slashdot and though I'd share: http://thc.org/root/phun/unmaintain.html

I got a good laugh from reading it

-Robert

 

[maw]

Hey,

Hope it isn't a repost. I saw this on slashdot and though I'd share: http://thc.org/root/phun/unmaintain.html

I got a good laugh from reading it

-Robert

just finished reading it myself. Job security, here i come!!!

 

[carl67lp]

I don't get it. This seems like pretty common-sense stuff, all in all. In fact, I think a lot of this comes right out of my own handbook.

 

[dawtips]

hahaha amusing... about 50% of the stuff in there I've encountered when coming into contact with another persons code.

 

[Lord of Shadows]

marypoppins = (superman + starship) / god;

I dont know why, but thats hilarious.

 

[BinaryCleric]

I know a professor here at Clarion that follows all of those.

He calles every function foo or doSomething, it's great for us students who understand but the noobies and the CS minors are totally confused.

 

[Sly]

openParen = (slash + asterix) / equals;

If i have to debug something with this, i swear i'll strangle the programmer!

 

[fssjoe]

There was a variable named "Fred" in the T1 driver for the product I worked on at my old job.

 

[pr0pensity]

Creative Miss-spelling

If you must use descriptive variable and function names, misspell them. By misspelling in some function and variable names, and spelling it correctly in others (such as SetPintleOpening SetPintalClosing) we effectively negate the use of grep or IDE search techniques. It works amazingly well. Add an international flavor by spelling tory or tori in different theatres/theaters.


Misleading names

Make sure that every method does a little bit more (or less) than its name suggests. As a simple example, a method named isValid(x) should as a side effect convert x to binary and store the result in a database.

 

[joormotha]

Definitely a good laugh. What's scarry, some will actually take that write up seriously.

 

[Exception]

Nice one!