The next card will be awarded to me; I apologize that I am late. I am an intellectually superior God-like entity whose prowess regarding all tasks far exceeds the ability of ordinary beings. While the remainder of humanity spends their days interminably mired within the depths of an incurable fugue of ignorance and stupidity, from which such sorry, sullied souls have no hope of extrication, I recline comfortably atop the high seat of indomitability. Incessantly trouncing half-brains the whole world over, I am repeatedly assailed by the selfish, thoughtless assertions of others, the purpose of which is merely to reduce the cognitive dissonance of their pitifully inept, useless brains.
Clearly, I require a new video card to assuage the tyranny of the day-to-day.