Designers (especially typographers), I need your critique.

E

EGGO

Gawd
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Aug 23, 2004
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Sadly, my site server seems to be down so I have to use imageshack.

I'm trying to create a high level of interest through the use of the photomanipulation and the unconventional treatment of the type. Basically, the type is modified in size and weight, over a transparent image of itself, along with an opaque white on different words. Having a somewhat controlled chaos, the type recieves the same treatment as the image. It bleeds off to the edges of the piece, violating a rule of design to give it a bit of tension, giving the viewer a good example of how rules are meant to be broken.

However, I am still iffy on the type layout. I'd like to know any sort of criticism on the type or anything else you might notice.

Now one thing that I just noticed is the border that seperates the top image from the rest of the piece doesn't stretch all the way, that's accidental wand is meant to reach to the very right. So please ignore that. =0)






[edit] Looks like the copy/paste function at Imageshack sucks.
 
I am by no means an expert in design or typography, by it seems to me that the type just doesn't fit with the rest of the image.

Everything else looks worn, cracked, slightly faded and the text just looks too crisp and bold next to it all.

I do like the rest of the image though, good job.
 
Yuck! sorry, bad composition... ie placement of the type. Am I supposed to be able to read it? If I am make the type fill the page, thats what typography is, then make it attractive and readable. If I"m not supposed to be able to read it... it works, but its still a bad positioning of the type.

Think about a newspaper headline... its important it should catch your attention and make you want to read the paper, exciting. Now look at your type is it exciting, does it grab your attention, does it make you want to read it, or add to the image in a meaningful way?
when you can honestly say yes to these then its done.
 
I think it'd be better if the text on there was also a little grungified... but thats just my 2 cents.
 
Good general idea, it's been done before, but it still allows for possibilities.

In order to be a more cohesive composition, the text should blend in a little more with the rest of the piece, not be big bold black. The shadowed text underneath is pretty good, but the type is too bunched up. Space the lines out a little more and fill in the bottom portion of the piece. There's too much open real estate there.

Something I'd probably try as well (just to see what it looked like) is make a mirror image of it in a very light color or white, place it over the photo, and turn the transparency way down so that you have a ghost of the text overlaying the photograph, but reversed.

I'd also suggest spending some time looking through magazines and newspapers and stuff, just looking at how people use certain text effects to elicit certain reactions. Sometimes you'll find something that does exactly what you're trying to, and you can adapt it to your project. It's not exactly stealing, it's more like using a Photoshop tutorial and adapting it to what you want to do. As long as you understand the principles behind it, you'll always be able to learn from it.
 
Honestly I would stay away from the whole grunge look entirely, its become overly used. (not a diss to you) The typeface needs to change, your imagery is grungy while the typeface is more of a classic type, not really fitting, change the typeface so that it would be more fitting to the imagery.

--edit, one more thing, the erraticness of the font, like where its bold and then not bold, some words are smaller than other etc etc, that works well. Keep that, but change the actual typeface.
 
My thanks to those that have critiqued. Yeah, it's hard to look for the perfect grunge font, and it's almost hard to make the words almost "blend in" with the image. It can be easily done in Photoshop (which I used for the image) but the type is done with Illustrator. In Photoshop, I could raster the type vector, then use the eraser to make it look grungy, or even add brushes.

However, I think since this is 400dpi, and the text won't be "text" according to Photoshop, maybe it wouldn't look too bad.
 
The white text/lettering you put over some of the letters stands out to much IMO too. It just seems out of place and ruins the feel of the peice. I don't neccesarily like the text running off the edges either. Once again... a grunge font would look 10x better, too! Otherwise great job though, it's coming out nice.
 
pistola said:
Honestly I would stay away from the whole grunge look entirely, its become overly used.
Click to expand...

While this is true, it's rarely used well. People use that look because it conveys an unmistakable feeling...the problem is usually that the feeling being conveyed doesn't work in the context of the piece. Upon giving the piece a second look, that's kind of how I feel here. Reading the text, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to express that in this context.

The grungy look in the piece is way higher quality than the standard stuff that I see, but I'm not sure it really fits.
 
Id point out that a little selective dodging of the brown spots on the paper behind the type would help alot

basically too much contrast to the background image which is hurting legibility considerably
and until its lightened decreasing the contrast by using a type color less in value than the black will just aggrivate the problem

but I think thats what would help a dark sepia type
 
twyztyr said:
While this is true, it's rarely used well. People use that look because it conveys an unmistakable feeling...the problem is usually that the feeling being conveyed doesn't work in the context of the piece. Upon giving the piece a second look, that's kind of how I feel here. Reading the text, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to express that in this context.

The grungy look in the piece is way higher quality than the standard stuff that I see, but I'm not sure it really fits.
Click to expand...

Definately noted.When I read "He wishes for the cloths of heaven" I misread the poem as almost weeping, sorrowful feeling, but when I read it again, I can see that the context isn't so. I like the piece a lot, so I'll look for another piece of literature that can fit it, while still maintaining the same look as the poem.

Ice Czar, thanks a lot for your critique too, I'll definately start doing some contrast balance.
 
if i was going to go with any font.
id say Viner Hand ITC would look the nicest with it.
it seems like a parchmant type font which looks like the style youre going for.
 
Alright, number 2:

angelartshow.jpg


Personally, I think maybe the text is a tad strong, and perhaps it should be moved up more. Think so?
 
You're definitely on the right track there. The overall composition is much better and the type fits in a lot better than it did before. The "ghost" words look a lot better, and I like the additional randomness. I like this one a lot more than the first one, though I think this time the text is too big. I'd personally probably go with a smaller font and use a passage with 8-10 lines in it as opposed to the 6 you have now.

I'd also suggest you put some more thought into the font you're using to highlight each word. The piece will make a bigger impact if the font used for each highlighted word works with the word in general, either reaffirming the word or conveying the absolute opposite (find a depressing typeface for the word "happy" and so on). I don't see that approach taken very often, but when it's done, it's very effective.

This isn't my piece, of course, and wouldn't want it to become mine, but those are some ideas I got just off the top of my head after looking at it for about a minute and taking a guess as to the message you're trying to get across with the piece based on my interpretation of it. This piece has some potential, keep it up.
 
looks alot better... only a few elements of text seem out place now... the ones that are incredibly large... keep up the great work
 
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