Might I guess most of you aren't married? Does your significant other know that you don't truly give yourself whole and completely to them? Seriously she sounds like she may have been a decent enough wife to respect his privacy to not know his password. I don't know my wifes out of respect of hers but god forbid she passes before me I would like access to make sure nothing of note is there that could impact my finacials or maybe poics to remember her by, she love to take selfies.
Does your other half have your work username and passwords or do you have hers? The issue here is that people use Google, Apple and other online cloud services for work and for personal. Apple or somebody else has no way to know if the account if one that is used for personal or for work. If it is for work, you other half has no right to have access to the account.
It is a horrible thing to think about but that is why keeping a list of your usernames and passwords somewhere so that upon your death your family can access your accounts is a good thing.