WOW players with families?

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playrh8r

Gawd
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I've got a question for "mature" World of Warcraft players who have families (wifes, young children etc). Are you able to successfully balance in game time with all of your other responsibilities (IT careers, spending quality time with your family etc). Do you feel satisfaction even though you can only play 10-20 hours a week?

I'm getting married next year, and really want to get into WOW again. I find PC games a huge stress relief from my busy career and family life. I'm curious how you all balance the game with other responsibilities, and if it is actually a viable choice moving forward.

thanks,

Playrh8r
 
Speaking as a former power-gamer on Everquest, to now a casual player on WoW, it's doable. I work 40 hours a week plus call, have a wife and 3 children and I still find time to game. However, what I play and how I play it has changed. When I was first married and without children, I played EQ alot and was in a few highend raiding guilds. As my family expanded, my job responsibilities increased and things just got busier, my priorities and gaming time changed. I just didn't have time to raid for 4-10 hours at a stretch, so I gave up EQ. Luckily, WoW came out shortly thereafter and with it the chance to be a casual gamer. Granted, I'm not going to have tier 2.5 gear and raid molten core 4 nights a week, but I'm enjoying rolling up different classes and exploring the game. I also play alot of console games where you don't need to invest 1-2 at a time to make it worthwhile. So, to answer your question, it's definitely doable, but you'll find you will have to change your ingame expectations due to RL commitments.
 
A lot of people in my guild have families and jobs. They simply just don't play as much as those without families. I would assume that they are satisfied with the game, as we are doing very well in Naxx.

I guess it depends what you want out of the game. If you want to raid high end stuff, you probably won't be satisfied. A lot of raid guilds will shy away from people who used to play but quit and are now coming back. There's going to be a lot of people out there looking for new guilds with the raid instance cap being lowered to 25, so you will probably be able to find a new guild - just don't expect the best players to be in it.

There will be more casual player friendly content at the end game, but it will just end up being the level 70 version of UBRS, Scholo, Strat, etc.
 
KidzMD said:
Speaking as a former power-gamer on Everquest, to now a casual player on WoW, it's doable. I work 40 hours a week plus call, have a wife and 3 children and I still find time to game. However, what I play and how I play it has changed. When I was first married and without children, I played EQ alot and was in a few highend raiding guilds. As my family expanded, my job responsibilities increased and things just got busier, my priorities and gaming time changed. I just didn't have time to raid for 4-10 hours at a stretch, so I gave up EQ. Luckily, WoW came out shortly thereafter and with it the chance to be a casual gamer. Granted, I'm not going to have tier 2.5 gear and raid molten core 4 nights a week, but I'm enjoying rolling up different classes and exploring the game. I also play alot of console games where you don't need to invest 1-2 at a time to make it worthwhile. So, to answer your question, it's definitely doable, but you'll find you will have to change your ingame expectations due to RL commitments.
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I'm playing BF2142 with a clan now, I'm hoping to play that 1-2 times a week , and play wow for 3-4 sessions per week. On saturdays i usually play for 3-4 hours and during the week I get on for 1-2 hour sessions. So far after about 2 weeks i'm up to level 15 and decked out in all green gear.

Jeff
 
playrh8r said:
I'm playing BF2142 with a clan now, I'm hoping to play that 1-2 times a week , and play wow for 3-4 sessions per week. On saturdays i usually play for 3-4 hours and during the week I get on for 1-2 hour sessions. So far after about 2 weeks i'm up to level 15 and decked out in all green gear.

Jeff
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that sux level 15 in 2 weeks damn. :p
 
I think 10-20 hours a week is way too much time to spend playing a game and I live by myself. I think if you have a family, the time spent with them should be more enjoyable that you woudn't rather be playing a video game. Personally if you really like gaming, i'd suggest playing a game that doesn't require alot of time to make it fun. I remember Diablo 2 days and all that its more fun when you have the best stuff so you spend alot of time. Now i play BF2142 and CS:S and those games I can get on, play 20-30 minutes, and get off and be in the same playing field as everyone else. Video games should never take precedence over your family, especially your children.
 
Seanmounce said:
Video games should never take precedence over your family, especially your children.
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Agreed. I'm not suggesting that they do but I am asking for strategies to make WOW fun so that I can continue to spend time with my family. The same can be said for spending time watching Dancing with the Stars, or Lost. I don't watch much TV at all (2-3 hours a week).

Jeff
 
playrh8r said:
I'm playing BF2142 with a clan now, I'm hoping to play that 1-2 times a week , and play wow for 3-4 sessions per week. On saturdays i usually play for 3-4 hours and during the week I get on for 1-2 hour sessions. So far after about 2 weeks i'm up to level 15 and decked out in all green gear.

Jeff
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If you level that slowly, WoW and the expansion will have PLENTY of content for you.
 
Seriously bro, you're in for a rough ride if you think you're going to be able spend 10 to 20 hours a week playing WOW during the first year of marriage.

I mean, I suppose the woman you're going to marry could be less interested in you, but, for the women I have known, you're time is going to be pretty well spent.

Not to mention, long term, what's more important, increasing the level of your WOW character or investing quality time into the love and satisfaction you are about to gain from marriage?

Honestly, I've been around, finding time for games is not a problem two years in or so, but by then you might have kids, good luck then.

Don't fight it, expect to be able to spend 3 or 4 hours a week with your computer and the rest of the time with your wife.

At first, that's the way it should be. As things get more routine expect that to increase.
 
A year and a half ago I was playing WOW every night for hours at a time. Had multiple level 60's and was in raiding guilds. Fast forward to March of this year. Got a girlfriend. . .Cancelled my account from March to June. My girlfriend was in a play from June to July so I bought a 60 day game card and rolled a new 60 priest that I really enjoyed. Play was over and we got engaged so I didn't renew after my game time expired. Got married 10 days ago and haven't played a game yet. I work 40 - 45 hours a week and go to school 3 hours a night 3 times a week. I try to get my homework done during the week so I can have the weekend to myself. I'm hoping to start up World of Warcraft again soon. Maybe playing 6 hours on Saturday and 4 hours Sunday to help me relax. My problem is I don't know how much I will enjoy it now since I'm used to spending double or triple the amount of time per week. Hopefully, I'll enjoy the time I get.
 
Colt___45 said:
A year and a half ago I was playing WOW every night for hours at a time. Had multiple level 60's and was in raiding guilds. Fast forward to March of this year. Got a girlfriend. . .Cancelled my account from March to June. My girlfriend was in a play from June to July so I bought a 60 day game card and rolled a new 60 priest that I really enjoyed. Play was over and we got engaged so I didn't renew after my game time expired. Got married 10 days ago and haven't played a game yet. I work 40 - 45 hours a week and go to school 3 hours a night 3 times a week. I try to get my homework done during the week so I can have the weekend to myself. I'm hoping to start up World of Warcraft again soon. Maybe playing 6 hours on Saturday and 4 hours Sunday to help me relax. My problem is I don't know how much I will enjoy it now since I'm used to spending double or triple the amount of time per week. Hopefully, I'll enjoy the time I get.
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I am in a similar boat as this except I am getting married. I actually quit shortly after we started dating. I dont game nearly as much as I did and I dont think I would have the time to enjoy playing WoW. I did pick up Guild Wars used off the forums and I havent even loaded it yet, may sell it again actually. I really liked WoW when I did play it and part of me would still like to play it but I kind of lost its luster to me, basically my priorities have changed alot. I find myself using my PC for email and internet browsing and banking and use my 360 for my gaming needs. I could probally go back to WoW for the time being because at the moment the fiance works nights 3 days a week and I could play it on those days, but after we get married that will be changing. In the end though OP you are the only one who can really determine if it is doable or not. Granted it doesnt hurt to hear to other peoples experiences with it, and lets face it, it also really depends on your better half going along with you playing the game, and if kids come into the picture it changes even more. If you can pull 10-20 hours a week for it I think you would have a good time playing it, I maybe on average game half that time and I still feel fullfilled with the games I have been playing. Like someone else also said if you dont care about getting top tier gear and raiding all the high end instances you can still have a blast playing. I was that person, all the gear was cool lookin and what not but not worth the 100 hours it took to just get that gear, which now with the expansion coming out will be outdated. Just get a character to 60 have some fun with easier high end stuff that doesnt take alot of time and then start another class/race and deck it out with all the best stuff and money from your 60 and explore the game from another angle.
 
I have a wife and a child. There is no way I could spend 10-20 hours per week gaming. After work I need to spend time with my family and not lock myself away in a room.
 
Ive just got married and we are trying for kids. I guess Im lucky that my wife is also a gamer, so enjoys spending her time on battlefield/sims. Ive become a little irked off with battlefield recently so have spent some time researching other games I may like. At the moment Ive settled on Eve (live the stargate dream LOL!) and find the pace relaxing, plus I love the attention to detail. I also have GuildWars Nightfall on order so I will try that too.

A friends of mine recently got in WoW, and he's a changed man. (He's grown a beard LOL! and I hardly see him. 8+hrs sessions are a norm for him!) - but he says he has never been happier.

I fully expect to continue putting in 20+ hours per week until we have a child, then I expect that to drop slightly. (Kids go to bed early when they are that young!).

I say the wiinning formula is to find a wife who is into the gaming as much as you are! Even better when you play the same game.
 
lewchenko said:
(Kids go to bed early when they are that young!).

.
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They also wake up early, i.e. 12 AM, 2 AM, 3 AM, 4 AM and on multiple occassions per night, i.e. all of those times. AND it'll happen pretty much everynight for a while :)
 
Like it or not, things are going to change.


I used to play for hours upon hours in EQ and then WoW. When I got married a year and a half ago, I could still play sometimes, but not nearly as much. When my daughter was born six months ago, that pretty much put the nail in the coffin. I can still play, but only when my wife is sleeping (we work opposite shifts) and my daughter is down for the night.

Yeah, it's true infants sleep alot, but not for long stretches of time, and even then, they eat every two hours or so. So if you're in the middle of a raid, you have to AFK to feed, change, pick up, play with, or do anything else with your kid(s).

Since I play a mage, I could get away with this sometimes by feeding my daughter with one hand and nuking with the other....if I played a melee class, I couldn't have raided at all.

Lately, it's just really been too much bother to log in very often. Although it's certainly doable as a casual, don't expect to keep up with the hardcores once you're married and especially when you have kids.

It's a good trade off though. I have tons of fun playing with my girls and I can still log in for a bit at night once in a while to unwind from work if they've both gone to bed.

Good luck with the wedding and congratulations!

Rich
 
^i was just in the same boat as you.

my son in now almost 11 months and in the past 4 months i got out of the routine you were in...and it gets better trust me.

My wife works nights and i work days so we don't need to use daycare too much. On nights my wife works my son goes to bed around 7:30 so after that i can play 3-4 hours if i choose so....that happens about 3-4 times a week. Also he naps i can play an hour or even other night i might get an hour in or so while he watches cartoons or something.

you'll never be able to play fully again like a single youner person....but i find the way i play now better then before. I get more out of it and it does'nt bother me anymore that i don't advance gear wise like other people....as long as i'm having fun.
 
I must know...where do you find 20 hours a week for gaming? I'm lucky to see 10. An hour a night during the week and maybe five through the weekend. Between keeping up a house and a lawn and spending time with my family, there's not much time left for hobbies :(
 
lewchenko said:
Kids go to bed early when they are that young!)
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Just you wait :p When they're very small, you'd be surprised by how frequently they're awake. You'll be awake quite a bit, especially if they are breastfed (natural milk doesn't last as long in the stomach as formula, which means they get hungry more frequently. It's normal, and better for them).

My son is 2, and it took me months to move his bedtime from 9 to 8 so we actually had some time for ourselves. He wakes between 5 and 6 every morning, so we've got no free time then either. His naps are short, and offer the only chance we get to do things that might be dangerous with such an active, playful, inquisitive child.

Just as we're developing a solid routine and my kid is becoming semi-independent on some things, we have another on the way. WHAT WAS I THINKING???

(I kid, I kid)
 
LOL - Im a father of two, ages 5 and 2 months. I have a wife, a house, a full time job, and school(part time I guess). Ive found getting time in to play games to be quite challenging. Games like BF2, DOD, etc, aren't too bad, since you can jump in and out in a half hour if you wish. But MMOs are much harder. I play DDO, and was putting in a lot of time over the summer. It wound up interfering with wifey time, and it hurt our relationship. Also, one night I was trying to feed the newborn and play one handed, didn't work out too well.

I would think you could play WoW, but figure on doing that on a weekend for a few hours at a time. Maybe your wife is more understanding than mine, but my guess is that if she isn't a gamer, it will probably make her crazy that you 'spend so much time on a game'.
 
This thread has really given me a new appreciation for being young, single, and having no responsibilities outside of myself.
 
FoxhoundOp said:
This thread has really given me a new appreciation for being young, single, and having no responsibilities outside of myself.
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Yeah. As much as I love being married to my wife and having my son, there are times I really really want a large block of time to myself. Fortunately from time to time my wife realizes I need a day off, leaves our boy with her parents and gets out of the house so I can just goof off for a while.
 
FoxhoundOp said:
This thread has really given me a new appreciation for being young, single, and having no responsibilities outside of myself.
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Love it while you have it.
 
You guys are a bunch of pansies.

I have two children, 2 and 5 and yet still have time to raid.

America anymore cracks me up. When I was a child my mother had to work constantly (bad life choices) to make pay rent, et al. I was actually *forced* to (get this) entertain myself and use my *gasp* IMAGINATION.

That included playing Ninja in the woods around our house, finding some sort trails and such with which to play ninja, or even gaming.

Now, if you aren't around trying to get your kids to do something 24/7, it's "OMG U R A BAD PARENT YOU SHOULD BE BAND". IMO, this leads to the degradation of children's imaginations as they are not taught to think for themselves.

Sure, I also try and find things for my children to do, helping my son with his writing, reading books to my daughter, but once your children are a little bit older and basically mobile, your every waking second does NOT have to be spent coddling them in some form or another.
 
I bought my wife a Nintendo DS with Super Mario and she absolutely loves it. I'm trying to introduce her to gaming and she really likes it. She's agreed to give WoW a try, I'll let you know what happens.
 
WoW breaks up relationships if the significant other doesn't agree early with what your spending your time with. If you have to drop something important for a dungeon raid, expect multiple severe consequences. :rolleyes:

I eventually had to choose between WoW and my four year relationship...I made about $800 selling that account heh.
 
It depends on how cool your significant other is. My girlfriend only asks that I take occasional breaks to go give her a hug or something (shut up lol). Also, she doesn't mind me staying up late to play as long as I stay in bed with her until she falls asleep. I don't have kids but I would imagine that my WoW career would be down the toilet the minute I had one...
 
Riddlinkidstoner said:
WoW breaks up relationships if the significant other doesn't agree early with what your spending your time with. If you have to drop something important for a dungeon raid, expect multiple severe consequences. :rolleyes:

I eventually had to choose between WoW and my four year relationship...I made about $800 selling that account heh.
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It really is sad when people make you change to be with them. Good luck with that relationship man.
 
FoxhoundOp said:
It really is sad when people make you change to be with them. Good luck with that relationship man.
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I didn't mind so much because 1) I was obsessed and 2) The game was getting repetitive and lame so I moved on to FPS's where I wouldn't have to follow the schedule of some guild just to get "better" equipment and DKP. It was hard to work that around with the girlfriend because me and her do a lot of things together with our families and volunteer work, etc...so it got to the point where I had to give it up.

Thats what happens when your the main tank for a core raid group.

CS:S is more worth my time anyway :D
 
Bob002 said:
You guys are a bunch of pansies.

I have two children, 2 and 5 and yet still have time to raid.

America anymore cracks me up. When I was a child my mother had to work constantly (bad life choices) to make pay rent, et al. I was actually *forced* to (get this) entertain myself and use my *gasp* IMAGINATION.

That included playing Ninja in the woods around our house, finding some sort trails and such with which to play ninja, or even gaming.

Now, if you aren't around trying to get your kids to do something 24/7, it's "OMG U R A BAD PARENT YOU SHOULD BE BAND". IMO, this leads to the degradation of children's imaginations as they are not taught to think for themselves.

Sure, I also try and find things for my children to do, helping my son with his writing, reading books to my daughter, but once your children are a little bit older and basically mobile, your every waking second does NOT have to be spent coddling them in some form or another.
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Umm...I hate to feed the trolls here, but I can't seem to find any posts which indicate the line of thinking that you're criticizing. Sounds like you're attacking a stereotype you invented.
 
I gave up my clan membership in BFME2 when the baby was born. Managed plenty of gaming time before that - at least, when not in school. My wife is a quasi-gamer though.

Once the baby was around I started hitting up Guild Wars a bit more. I got lots of GW played. You can solo a lot of the early stuff and that was an advantage. I'd play when the baby was napping, or at night when wife & baby are in bed (I work 3rd shift so even on my breaks I tend to be up kind of late).

But that was before school again.

Now, full time work + half time school + 10mo old baby = overload. I've played maybe 4 hours of Civ4 in the past 2 weeks. I can't even keep up with the homework this semester, I've been running behind since week 1. And I haven't touched one of my console RPGs in ages, minus an hour or so of Chrono Trigger a few weeks ago.
 
FoxhoundOp said:
It really is sad when people make you change to be with them. Good luck with that relationship man.
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It's not so much a matter of them making him change; they made him choose. Mature relationships will almost require that you reevaluate your priorities. If you work 40 hours and spend 40 hours gaming, when you get in a serious relationship something's going to have to give. Most people aren't going to want to be in a relationship where a computer game gets more attention than they do.

My wife never forced me to change. I made that decision myself.
 
Bob002 said:
You guys are a bunch of pansies.

I have two children, 2 and 5 and yet still have time to raid.

America anymore cracks me up. When I was a child my mother had to work constantly (bad life choices) to make pay rent, et al. I was actually *forced* to (get this) entertain myself and use my *gasp* IMAGINATION.

That included playing Ninja in the woods around our house, finding some sort trails and such with which to play ninja, or even gaming.

Now, if you aren't around trying to get your kids to do something 24/7, it's "OMG U R A BAD PARENT YOU SHOULD BE BAND". IMO, this leads to the degradation of children's imaginations as they are not taught to think for themselves.

Sure, I also try and find things for my children to do, helping my son with his writing, reading books to my daughter, but once your children are a little bit older and basically mobile, your every waking second does NOT have to be spent coddling them in some form or another.
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Its not about "being a pansy" its about priorities. You only have moments in life with your children as they happen. If you spend 8 hours playing WoW, you are missing out on the little things that help make raising your children great.

Sure, there can be a balance between selfishness and giving to your family. However, if you take the time to spend quality time with your children, you may find that "getting that epic gear" seems trivial.

I think the person I quoted may be the kind of person who puts himself and his wants in front of the wants of his children.
 
PopeKevinI said:
It's not so much a matter of them making him change; they made him choose. Mature relationships will almost require that you reevaluate your priorities. If you work 40 hours and spend 40 hours gaming, when you get in a serious relationship something's going to have to give. Most people aren't going to want to be in a relationship where a computer game gets more attention than they do.

My wife never forced me to change. I made that decision myself.
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Exactly.
 
Great thread! I'm starting to see a lot more threads like this one now that the gaming generation is getting older and starting to have families... Great.

Here's my story..
I work full time to support my wife (maried almost 3 years now.)and 2 boys (5 and 2.5). I work rotating shifts (7 days of 8am-4pm, 1 day off, 7 days 4pm-12am, one day off, 7 days 12am-8am, 4 days off...)
My wife is a full time student...

on 1st shift I don't really get to see my computer much... mostly an hour or two if that, mostly checking out the forums, reading tech news, reviews, etc.
2nd shift I get the most computer time... I get home a little after midnight and I don't go to bead until about 4am... I usually game then.., but I never get to see my family at all that week.. they are asleap when I get home, and at school when I wake up...
3rd shift I get a little time to read the forums and stuff, but not a whole lot.. I am usually exausted from working so much that I tend to go to bed earlier...
on my 4 days off, I spend as much time with my family as possible.. after the boys go to bed I might call some of my friends (1 or 2) to come over and we play some starcraft, battlefield, f.e.a.r or something...

My wife k,new that I was a gamer when I met her.. She hasn't tried to change me, but I know that family is important, and I am responsible enough not to play too much...

damn... have to go to work...
 
Standpoint said:
I think the person I quoted may be the kind of person who puts himself and his wants in front of the wants of his children.
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Has nothing to do with that.

I simply refuse to cater to their every whim. Children need some independence and to build thought processes on their own. My sister in law is a perfect example of a mother that did too much for her child. My MIL did her homework for her throughout high school. She is 23, still lives at home, and has barely been out of their sight for more than a few days at a time. She never built any sort of independence because her mother was right there, doing everything.
 
PopeKevinI said:
It's not so much a matter of them making him change; they made him choose. Mature relationships will almost require that you reevaluate your priorities. If you work 40 hours and spend 40 hours gaming, when you get in a serious relationship something's going to have to give. Most people aren't going to want to be in a relationship where a computer game gets more attention than they do.

My wife never forced me to change. I made that decision myself.
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Meh. I'll stick to living life for me and being uncontrolled.
 
FoxhoundOp said:
Meh. I'll stick to living life for me and being uncontrolled.
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Ignorance is bliss, they say. No one controls me. I have the life I have because I chose it. Yes there's a lot of responsibility, but the benefits far outweigh that.

But hey, to each his own. I wouldn't force anyone to marry, even if I could. It's your call. Just don't pretend to understand something that you can't know until you've experienced it.
 
In my opinion:

Your children = the best epic loot you could ever hope for. ;)

If you have kids, and you like to game, maybe play games with them.

My father got me into computers and computer gaming, back in the 80s. It was great quality time for the two of us. I can't play a single flight sim without thinking about sitting on his lap in front of a 286 playing F-19 back in '88-90.
 
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