Please critique these ads.

C

cuemasterfl

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I had an interview this morning with a local magazine, to be designing ads for it. Everything went perfect, and she gave me 2 sample ads to redo, and as long as I do a good job on them, I will get the job. I am hoping to get some input from you guys before I send them over for her to look at. Of course they are in high resolution photoshop format, but I am posting jpg lower res screens for you. For now, I have used images off the web until I have access to their database of free pictures and photographs. Her major complaint about the old designer was that he always used black text on a white background and they looked crap. She likes color, so I am going for a clean, colorful look.

I have done 1 so far, which is here:

karate_ad.jpg


I should have the other done later, or tonight after school. TIA for your input.
 
its good, but the yellow really takes away, especially when you have a flag with catchy colors on top


move 2-week down a line and make it the same size as the type under it now. its too choppy... FREE 2 WEEK trial course is how its read now if you catch what im trying to say
 
What do you recommend for a background color/gradient? I'll adjust the text as you mentioned. You're right about that. Thanks ;)
 
I think it looks great! Two things I'd change, though:

- The checklist on the right looks awkward with the words (self-discipline, courtesy, etc.) all centered. I'd make the list left aligned instead.

- Lose the pink tint on the second pic. I think more boys are into martial arts than girls, so that would be a turn-off to them. It also just doesn't fit with the yellow background and red/white/blue theme.
 
Zipped, it's still 5MB. I made it at 300 DPI resolution, so it's pretty big.
 
Here's my second one. More simple. I'll try to add a bit more color to it after college tonight.

school-ad.jpg
 
that one isnt so bad.
run down to your local borders and pick up a copy of dynamic graphics or computer arts mag. They have a section for contrasting colors for future design. Great tips for eye catching memos and ads.

who thinks i should just scan the pages in.....
 
nah i like the yellow, it adds more excitement to the page and something i would look at more than something than something is just a dull color like white. ;x
 
Thanks again guys. I do want more opinions on the yellow background for the karate ad. I hope to send these to her late tonight so she'll have them in the morning. I NEED to get this job, so the more comments I get, the better. :)
 
The first one is good, but for some reason the flag part just stands out to bad for me...I don't know why...try fading/blending it in...or maybe a border...it just seems to abrupt from the flag to the yellow/white gradient...
 
I would work on making your ads more unified, right now they look like three or four different ads kinda thrown together. Also you have a lot of awkward spacing in the ads that make it a little hard to read, so you might want to make it flow a little better. And I wouldn't suggest the second ad, if she specifically said she didn't like the old designer due to his relience on black on white.

Good luck

Cads
 
I changed the colors of the background on the karate ad so it matches the banner at the top better.

Karate_Ad3.jpg
 
Originally posted by Cadsworth
I would work on making your ads more unified, right now they look like three or four different ads kinda thrown together. Also you have a lot of awkward spacing in the ads that make it a little hard to read, so you might want to make it flow a little better. And I wouldn't suggest the second ad, if she specifically said she didn't like the old designer due to his relience on black on white.

Good luck

Cads
Click to expand...

Well, the original ad was blue and white only and very bland. She did say to me today that the ad was ok, but it maybe needed a little more color, maybe some black. I'll work on it some more later. Thanks :)
 
I liked the first ad better, especially after you made a few tweaks and posted the second iteration. The pic you replaced the pink one with is much better. In the first ad, they were both "throwing punches" pics, so showing a group/class pic is a nice contrast.

As for the second ad, here's what I don't like about it.

Drop shadow on the pic isn't subtle enough and it's thicker on the bottom than on the right.

That pic reminds me of a motel. They always have those covered areas you drive under to run in and register. (Guess it's to keep you dry if it's raining?)

I think a pic of kids in a classroom (maybe one with a raised hand?) looking like they're eagerly learning would be better. But then, you probably don't have much of a choice.

There are five different fonts happening, that's just too many.

The font for "empowering future generations" looks like one you'd use to sell industrial equipment, not education.

The font used in the check list is just too "decorative" and hard to read. And what's with the random capitalization? I think I would stick to lower case for consistency.

Does the school have a logo? If so, I'd use it. Logos help with "branding" and should be used in all advertising if possible. If not, maybe try hooking the top of the "S" thru the bottom of the "C" (indenting the "S" slightly) to give it a bit more graphic appeal?

You're selling a private kids' school, but this ad just doesn't say "kid" in it enough to appeal to me if I were a parent.

You didn't say what the final size of the ads will be. That will also impact the ad's effectiveness depending on how much you're trying to display in what size space.

Anyway, good luck with it. :)
 
Actually I have total control over this. The ad has already been posted in the current issue. This is basically a test to see what I can do, so I am free to do whatever I choose to. I'll make some of those changes to the school ad tonight and post it later. The size of the school ad is 3.4" x 4.75". That's the size I typed into Photoshop but I made the res 300 so when it does get shrunk down to the proper size, the resolution will make it print in high quality. I purposely made these JPGs 800 wide just for easier viewing for people.

The karate ad is 4.5" x 4.75". Thanks for your input ;)

Edit: that pic is the actual school. It wasn't provided to me but I found it on their web site.
 
that one is good, but take out the "we dont discriminate" stuff.

of course they dont... it is a public school.....
 
Originally posted by b1m2x3
that one is good, but take out the "we dont discriminate" stuff.

of course they dont... it is a public school.....
Click to expand...

The text is what was on the original, so I just copied the text over. It must have been supplied by the school so it has to go on there. Thanks for saying you like it. I hope this lady does too. I should find out today if I win or lose...

:)
 
Wow, what a difference! Two very small proofreading nitpicks:

You left out the hyphen in "virtues-based".

"does not descriminate on basis OR race" (OR should be of)

Good job! :)
 
Thanks Lethal :) I already found and fixed the typo, I just didn't post the new pic with it on. You're right about the hyphen also, but she already has the pics now and I am just waiting to hear from her. :)
 
Yay! I got the job! I owe some of that to you fine [H] guys and gals, so thank you! :)
 
Thanks people :)

Fatbob: The magazine is local only, so everyone knows the area code is 352.
 
is it me, or have you made them up in powerpoint. :eek: :rolleyes:

when your doing ads and/or posters you need to have something that attracts the viewer, i.e a big headling font, a main image. Also you have some 'cheesey' shadows and the gradients, not every thing has to have a gradient.
But its only my thought...
 
How does one achieve a "Challenging Academic Curriculum" when
"Virtues-based Character Education" is applied in conjuction with
"Team approach to realizing each child's success"?

Oh well, I guess that has bugger-all to do with the quality of the
ad. I just think that the photographs could be blended into the ad
in a more professional way, at the moment they sort of sit there,
almost like snaps in an album.

What is the target market of the school?
 
As I've stated before, they told me to take an existing ad, and just redo it. I don't know about what the target market of the school is, or anything else, I just copied the exact same text, as instructed.

:)
 
That's the dummest type of client in the world: "Repeat our
previous fuck-up ... and remember ... we don't pay you to think!"

My condolences! ;)
 
Well you have to remember that the ads are already printed in the magazine. She only asked me to redesign them to see how it could have been improved/what I can do, etc. It's not actually going to be published, so there was no need to take it apart etc.
 
the first one looks to "photoshop filtery", which gives it a bit of a childish feel ,which may or may not be good for your subject matter

the second one simply has too many different font styles


--------
the redo of the second is a big improvement, although it still looks like a powerpoint slide as opposed to a print ad
 
Do a Ctrl+Shift+L on all the photos...especially the picture of the school. If you don't see much of a difference, click back and forth on the history pallette and you will...at least in the school pic.

I would also suggest making another version of the Cornerstone ad that is a little less corporate looking. Maybe if the client doesn't like a new version you'll always have the one that you have posted.

I liked the yellow...it made a nice contrast (and also reminded me of the Kill Bill poster art; a strong Japanese/martial arts theme)...but try to make it fit with the flag a little more.I would say creating actual shapes as a border to merge them together instead of just a straight line. Or, you could get a pic of the flag and actually have it overlapping the yellow (you know, the wave at the bottom of the flag creating a wavy border).

I dunno. My opinion.
 
Originally posted by badjoke
i think the gradient yellow is definently the wrong thing to go with the rwb. upload the psd so we can all mess with it. upload to http://www.tuckie.net
Click to expand...

hey, when i said you could use it, i mean you;)

on a slightly different note, tone down the usage a bit, its getting hard to find my uploads in the midst of all yours.:D
 
I just wanted to add a thought. What you see on screen isnt always how it looks on paper...particularly gradients and stuff. You should stick with those CMYK thingies to make sure you have consistent colors.
My 2 cents.
 
I like the martial arts "as is", with the orange gradiant. Very pleasing to my eyes. Start from a grey tone, then work to the full color, is something i like alot.

I also myself don't like the 4 lines the describe the free thing, tooo skinny and long IMO, i would fool around with stuff like

Free: 2-week
Trial Course
Ages 4 and up

Also, the text is very easy to read, with the white with black border.

The only thing i could say, is that you may want to look into something to "blend" the flag into the gradiant, maybe some sort of top border. So that it just does'nt GO INTO the gradiant, but rather has like a "buffer". Or a transparency fade would work also, but im not sure which would look better.

Just my opinion, but looks very good!
 
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