One Review That Covers Every Ubisoft Game

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Ubisoft Game: The Review covers every Ubisoft game ever made (past, present and future). Best. Review. Ever. :D

Ubisoft Game is the story of Main Character, a gruff or sassy white man who is really good at parkour, killing, and killing while doing parkour. One of the most iconic features of Main Character is the way he dresses — Main Character's sense of style and flair really comes across in his tailored outfit, which makes him look distinctive and features a number of clear symbols that can be easily used in marketing and merchandising.
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Traze said:
That's so sad....
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Meanwhile, Watch Dogs is breaking sales records. So every person complaining about sameness or griping about problems with Watch Dogs, there seem to be 10 that are buying and playing these titles.
 
DPI said:
Meanwhile, Watch Dogs is breaking sales records. So every person complaining about sameness or griping about problems with Watch Dogs, there seem to be 10 that are buying and playing these titles.
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That may be, but I don't think it changes anything about the "review", though ;) :p
 
DPI said:
Meanwhile, Watch Dogs is breaking sales records. So every person complaining about sameness or griping about problems with Watch Dogs, there seem to be 10 that are buying and playing these titles.
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Advertising, I know several that purchased and have already stopped playing LOL.
 
millions of people eat McDonald's.. doesn't mean it is good for you....

How many people buy CoD for consoles?
 
Nexillus said:
Advertising, I know several that purchased and have already stopped playing LOL.
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And probably half of those people will preorder the next game based on nothing but a trailer, with the other half buying it on the day of release.
 
Couldn't read the whole thing from where I am, but the blurb seems to capture my thoughts on most Ubi games. (Rayman games notwithstanding, and then only the "real" ones, not that Rabbid crap.)

I have the original Assassin's Creed, and I figure I'm covered on 3rd person Ubi games for the foreseeable future. :D

I have one game that I live with uPlay for, and that's the HD remake of Flashback.
 
Article is having trouble loading for me. That maybe a good sign that it went viral. Haha.
 
Spidey329 said:
Article is having trouble loading for me. That maybe a good sign that it went viral. Haha.
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Same, finally got it to load but the page format was FUBAR.

Pretty hilarious, Ubisoft should hire him to write their press releases. Or at least bring him in as a consultant, and write the One Press Release to Rule Them All.
 
I can't get to the review either, but sounds spot on from the blurb.
 
They need to add a section to template where Ubisoft game stumbles every 3 seconds for a few frames because they didn't optimize their asset streaming to make better use of available system memory.
 
DPI said:
Meanwhile, Watch Dogs is breaking sales records. So every person complaining about sameness or griping about problems with Watch Dogs, there seem to be 10 that are buying and playing these titles.
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Sameness sells... See madden, CoD, fifa etc. for proof.
 
They missed the part where, "In spite of multi-million dollar investments from Nvidia, the game runs like shit on PC, Geforce cards included."
 
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