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Well, it's been a long-standing problem with giant robots...
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-QVwzN4Zvrv0/UokXskWuogI/AAAAAAAAAXs/HQ6oMW_6Fwc/s1600/Umbilical_cable_attached.png
Thanks for the replies everyone -- I appreciate your time looking at this.
It's an SAS2 backplane -- SuperMicro model BPN-SAS2-846EL1, which is based on the LSI SAS2x36 expander chip.
We actually tried something new yesterday that makes me think it's not the RAID card at fault here but...
That's kind of what I'm left with as a conclusion -- they just don't wanna work together. It's ridiculous though, *every* component in this setup is listed specifically as being compatible in Adaptec's own testing...
So, I'm just a lurker here -- created an account just to post this, honestly -- and usually I find my answers to problems quickly enough by looking over other HF posts, but I'm currently at my wit's end and have *no* idea what to do except start asking for help. Maybe somebody here will...