Windows for Submarines

Terry Olaes

Terry Olaes

I Used to be the [H] News Guy
Joined
Nov 27, 2006
Messages
4,646
The Royal Navy is rolling out a new submarine command system and guess what: it runs on Windows. One’s gotta wonder what the failsafes are and how resiliency testing is performed on a vehicle that can be miles underwater and carries nuclear weapons. Let the BSOD jokes begin!

Windows for Submarines is the programme undertaken by the Royal Navy and BAE Systems to equip the nuclear-propelled and nuclear-armed warship fleet with a Windows-based command system. The transition to the Windows for Submarines command system on HMS Vigilant, a Trident nuclear missile submarine, was completed in just 18 days.
Click to expand...
 
"It looks like you're trying to start a nuclear war. Would you like help with that?"
 
That would suck if in a missile launch you got a blue screen. Right in the middle.
 
the first thing i thought of when reading "Windows for Submarines" was an actual window... maybe a fresh apple pie cooling on the sill...
 
My first thought was "What next? Screen doors?" Then i realized we were talking MS....
 
Que the "only idiots join the navy" jokes.


But seriously... Who the hell wants to be in a CAR let alone a submarine that runs on... WINDOWS?!
 
I'm wondering how Windows gets past all the DOD requirements for software testing. Then again, given the nature of some contractors' software Windows is not far off.
 
Windows Needs Your Permission to Continue

If you started this action, continue.

Microsoft Global Thermonuclear War


|Continue| |Cancel|






Wonder if you'll have to run a missile launch as Administrator?
 
I don't see anything wrong with using Windows. I have seen UNIX based machines crash as much as Windows. It would all depend on how well the system is taken care of and administered and having the system go through a thorough test and quality certification before it is set to production.
 
As long at it isn't running on a DELL or running a MS OS prior to Vista, they should be ok.

But... you all need to also remember that it should have a ton of CRAP running on it like most home and business user's computers either.
 
I can see it now. Someone gets pissed at solitare or minesweeper and slams the keyboard and starts a luanch.
 
Keep the windows jokes coming, because we all know linux/unix/mac os x never kernel panic...oh wait.
 
Sorry, was lazy earlier... this is a bit better


uacboomgj1.jpg
 
Ididar said:
I'm wondering how Windows gets past all the DOD requirements for software testing. Then again, given the nature of some contractors' software Windows is not far off.
Click to expand...

We sell software to the government and require SQL Server instead of MySQL versions of the software. Hopefully that will change soon.
 
The american navy uses NT for their CCC on Agesis Guided Missles Crusiers. These ships launch cruise missles as well. Would not suprise me if the Royal Navy was using NT as well.
 
Imagine you're navigating through a deep undersea trench. You enter the command to turn 3° to port, and you get the little circular Vista mouse pointer and your system just hangs there....not responding.

Ugh. I think I'd mutiny if I was boarding a submarine and at the hatch there was a 'Made for Microsoft Windows' sticker on the hull.
 
Seriously, Windows is not bad for stuff like this.

Most are not connected to the internet. Even if it is, goes through some heavy filtering to only allow explicitly specified application.

It's more than likely a trimmed down version, locked down VERY tightly. Not that big of deal, honestly...

It's just you see UNIX in these situations more often because heavy modifications to lock ANY operating system you end up using, usually results in UNIX being a ton easier to modify to start with.
 
At least it isn't from Apple..

steve jobs said:
Hello loyal and dedicated mac zombies. I'd like to introduce something new and revolutionary today...something that will change the world forever. I'd like to introduce Apple iSink - the new submarine command software for the british navy's fleet
Click to expand...
 
Hi, I'm a Mac.
And I'm a PC, and I'm awesome.
Wow, PC, what's with the bristling excitement today?
What do you mean?
Usually you're glum and drowning in self-doubt.
That was the old PC.
Um, okay. So the new PC is the best?
Obviously.
Don't you think you're being silly?
I certainly hope not.
Well you certainly aren't better than me.
No? Wanna fight about it?
Okay, PC. Joke's over.... And I would definitely win.
I control nukes.
.... Say, do you have a copy of Boot Camp handy?
 
The first BSOD is going to give the Commander of the sub a 'sinking' feeling.

In the news, sub loses power and washes-up on beach after Windows crash.

As soon as Windows fails, everyone on board is fish bait.

Crewman awarded Medal of Honor for jump starting seemingly doomed sub's Windows Communication System with Linux.

:p
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top