Facebook Teen’s Father Shows Some Tough Love

I loved it in the video

"You have a list of chores because you can't remember them, and they are ... umm ... oh yeah! these" :rolleyes:

TLDR version > That guy has great unintentional comic timing, even if he's basically ensured that either a) He'll never going to see his grandchildren or b) Will be going to his daughters funeral in a few years from an OD or suicide.

What's wrong here IMO:

Daughter posts shit on facebook in an angry rant cos she's pissed about her (albeit minimal) responsibilities, she posts it on private akin to a private conversation between friends, she consciously makes it seclusionary. In other words, she wouldn't have said it or posted it publicly. Dad then fixes her laptop in his free time, doesn't show daughter how to do it, doesn't pass on knowledge that will save her time and money over the course of her life and help her gain a new skill, just fixes it, and then goes gee wonder where the sense of entitlement comes from :rolleyes:. So after fixing it, he goes into her private facebook, goes through her comments and sees something that he doesn't like, and then because he's so insecure he has an emotional outburst and shoots the laptop.

Dad is supposed to be the 'adult' here. That's the problem. Getting pissed off because your daughter vented her emotions on facebook and then having an emotional outburst and shooting a laptop, gruffly remarking "Your stepmother said put one in for her too" isn't quote all the guys backing him up "adult or proper behaviour". It's irrational and childish, I mean you can hear the seething anger in his voice & breathing and the violently shaking paper followed by the grinding and crushing of the paper and cigarette. He didn't give it away because he acted in revenge because he's an insecure maniplative control freak...who probably came from a similar household (Hence the moving out at 18, overachieving, two jobs, college in highschool, obvious revenge streak), see a pattern here? How is the kid supposed to learn how to deal with, safely vent & control emotional triggers, or just plain manage her emotions when her father clearly can't because he hasn't dealt with his own personal shit?

And to the people applauding him for being a 'tough' parent, he's gone through his daughters private facebook, found something he couldn't handle rationally, and then went you know what, I'll get her back. When the government or a corporation invades your privacy it's "A human rights issue" but when parents do it it's "being tough" :rolleyes:. So how is the daughter supposed to trust her father now? I wouldn't trust this guy with a piece of paper.

This isn't about being a bleeding heart liberal or anything, it's about being a good parent. Coming from a home where I had divorced and abusive parents, I moved out at 18, spent a few years mucking around causing all kinds of mischeif, and now make way more money than the both of them put together, though it could have easily gone the other way at times. I havn't seen them in years and until they want to even just acknowledge that what they did was unacceptable I won't see them again and put up with all their lies & bullshit. I realized that they're their problems, not mine, and they'll either do something about it and come around eventually (which is something I can't force) or take their problems with them to the grave.

And to all the people going oooh, it's not that bad, it's not child abuse, it's pretty obvious that it's emotional abuse, which is a form of child abuse. He's using fear to manipulate his daughter into behaving how he wants, which is terrorism, I mean child abuse :p. Shit, you wouldn't tolerate this behaviour from the government (spying on you, giving you stuff and then destroying it because you dared mock it as a show of power), but if it's parents it's ok? Like being a parent basically justifies being a complete douchebag of a human being? Because it's not like he decided to have sex with some girl, get her pregnant, and then pussied out of going at her with a coathanger now is it? :p
 
nathancipher said:
From one of his recent facebook posts:

"(Hey, aren't the 25 thousand of you who subscribed really regretting it now? I'm always this scatter brained. Makes you wonder how I formed enough sensible sentences to write a book doesn't it? Then again... maybe that accounts for the book sales being in the toilet...)"

Not sure what book he's talking about but from his own post, there it is.
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If in fact that this was all a publicity stunt i would think that it was more to get donations to his MDA page, that's what he has been pushing on his FB page since all of this popularity.

He went from only raising like $300 at the very start of all of this to it now being over $5000.
 
rasatouche said:
Daughter posts shit on facebook in an angry rant cos she's pissed about her (albeit minimal) responsibilities, she posts it on private akin to a private conversation between friends, she consciously makes it seclusionary. In other words, she wouldn't have said it or posted it publicly. Dad then fixes her laptop in his free time, doesn't show daughter how to do it, doesn't pass on knowledge that will save her time and money over the course of her life and help her gain a new skill, just fixes it, and then goes gee wonder where the sense of entitlement comes from :rolleyes:. So after fixing it, he goes into her private facebook, goes through her comments and sees something that he doesn't like, and then because he's so insecure he has an emotional outburst and shoots the laptop.
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See the problem here is that your assuming to much.
It was stated on his FB page that she had added everyone but the family dogs account into the "family" settings to be blocked. When he went to log into the family dogs account to comment on some pictures that is when he was confronted with it cause she made an error in setting up her own privacy settings. He in no way shape or form invaded her privacy, she fucked it all up on her own.

In case you want to read the post yourself.
 
Since when was parenting anything but a dictatorship? Seriously, when does shooting something mean you're a violent person.

Clearly there is no threat to the kid.

Yes being a parent does mean you can be a douchbag to your kids if it is for the better.

This is just straight up tough love/discipline.
 
I wonder how many of these experts on child rearing who are dogging this guy has ever had a 15 year old daughter that 1. is sure she is smarter than you 2. chooses to ignore you 3. basically tells you to go to hell?
 
VIC-20 said:
Some personal shit in here, but I wanted you all to know my background and why I support what he did.

Ten years ago, in my early twenties, I would have watched this video and thought her dad was an asshole and "acting out". I would have thought he is teaching her to be violent causing escalation. I would have called "fail". I hated how strict my parents were and swore I would never be that hard on my kids. I had no respect for my parents, left home at 17.

BUT...

I now understand why my mother tracked me down if I didn't come home when I was supposed to, no matter how embarrasing it was. I understand now why she grounded me, put soap in my mouth and stuck me in corners to stare at the wall. I understand why my father took his belt to me at times. I now understand why my father held me to the ground and beat me with tears in his eyes when I called him out, completely lost it, swore at and attacked him in my early teens.

You see now I'm 32 and I have a daughter is almost 12. I have a daughter because after I left home I started heavily drinking/partying, dropped out of a university degree and knocked up my roommate. Pretty much fucked up my live and forever changed my future.

I see now what my parents were trying to keep me away from when I look at my daughter. I'll never be as rough as they were with me, as she is a girl, but I have been tough on her. I have taken her most favorite things and thrown them out when she wouldn't listen and back down.

I look at the kids in high school today, they are the children of the generation of parents who didn't want to be strict because they had it tough themselves as kids.

This new generation expect everything from nothing. The girls now start sleeping around at the age of 13 with boys for attention, competition, spending money, phones, gas money, etc. etc. Their mothers don't care where they are, even at 3 am.

15 year old guys, no matter how ugly, cool, rich, stupid, poor get laid all the time, because the girls are easy and not picky at all. Starting a new generation of very young, single moms. Many of them are high or drunk all the time, because there parents don't care where the are and don't bother tracking them down.

Trust me on this when I say girls are so easy now. When I was in high school, I couldn't even get a date. Grils were very picky and very few even put out in my high school. But when I was 28, I was 80 pounds overweight and worked in a bar after I left my daughter's mom. Was depressed and I easily ended up taking home lots of skinny, hot 18/19/20 year old bar stars.

I have had lots of threesomes with them too. It was SO easy. I don't do that anymore, I was ignoring my daughter too much. But if a fat older guy can do this, so can any guy. So as a parent its scares the living shit outta me.

It taken me years to see what my parents were trying to do. Yeah you could argue they totally failed and I did it all anyway, but it was my decision to leave home and it was all my fault.

Mad props to the dad in the video. Bravo.
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Bravo. +101

A 15-16 year old plenty old enough to understand that it's not the violence (he didn't physically beat her) that's the message. It's the follow the rules of the household and if you don't want to, then don't expect toys, gas money, car, etc...
 
xSystemFailurex said:
Overreacting is better than not reacting at all then, eh?
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I don't think he overreacted.

And yes, silence would have told her that he doesn't follow through and she would get away with just about anything.

Put it this way, if someone was getting mugged and you saw it and did nothing then what does that say about you? You may be in fear for your life, but alerting others would help out in getting more witnesses or someone who could do something about it. Even if it was to "overreact" and beat the crap out of the mugger.
 
Skripka said:
This wasn't discipline. This was an "adult" letting his feelings take over, loose control, and behave in exactly the same manner as what the the child did that he is chastising her for. There's discipline, and then there's being destructive to make yourself feel better. This video is the father making himself feel better.
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So you'd rather him take to her rear with a belt? Or since that's frowned upon, a good slap to the face?
 
Dad can raise his kids any way he sees fit. It's not for us to tell him if he's doing it wrong or not. It's his household with his wife who he says backs his decision. Its obvious that he's pissed so much that he can't remember all the chores she is suppost to do, I don't feel that that is an issue. I was spanked etc when I was growing up and I deserved it. I don't have kids but I feel for the Dad. And as for the people who say he should of given the laptop away, its his laptop he paid for, he can do as he see's fit with it. If he doesn't want someone else to profit from his hard work to buy it then so be it. In this day and age you can't spank your kid to discipline them, or Child Services comes to the door etc. It makes it harder for some people to discipline their kids for fear that they will goto jail for it. Kids know this and they push it cause they know their parents can't 'hit' them or spank them or whatever they might do. I don't live in the US, I live in Canada where using a hand gun I don't think is allowed on your property. It would be a restricted weapon and only be able to use it at a shooting range.
So I don't understand why people (I am assuming most are from the US here) would freak about the gun? He could just of easily used a hammer or burned it? Probley easier to just shoot it then do something else with it. It costs alot to put a roof over you and feed everyone, and have electricity. She probly won't think it now but later even if she hates her dad she will know that it wasn't that bad at home. Or alteast I feel this way about how well I had it at home. In a way I guess you could say that when he destroyed the laptop it was hurting him as well as her because he paid for it and the labour fixing it up and the cost of the software that he was destroying. Anyhoo. I support the dad for how hard it is to be a parent, and atleast doing something about it while so many other parents would just so soft and let the kid walk all over them.
 
BTW the daughter thinks that the laptop shooting is not an emotionally scarring/violent event that you anti-parenting people make it out to be. Oh and she's not too keen on being a stripper either.
 
This was futile. You can argue all you want as to whether it was an appropriately proportional response or not, but one thing is certain: all this will do is ensure that his daughter hates him forever after.
 
Topaz said:
This was futile. You can argue all you want as to whether it was an appropriately proportional response or not, but one thing is certain: all this will do is ensure that his daughter hates him forever after.
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Maybe, maybe not.

My father once broke my bicycle (even the one I paid for with my own money), but I understood--a few months later that he did it to get a point acroos because I wasn't listening.

Fortunately later we fixed the bicycle together and we both learned and had a positive father/son bonding moment. Oh, and I love my father and wish I could have the time to visit more often.

My parents raised me to appreciate the value of hard work and to save money. I had over $4000 saved in my own savings account by the time I turned 16. If I wanted to drive, I paid for the gas and a portino of my insurance. When I made those long distance phone calls (before unlimited plans) on the family phone to my then girlfriend, I paid for my portion of the phone bill (all $300 of it--never talked to girlffriend long distance for that long ever again). I love my parents for how they raised me.
 
merlin704 said:
I was wondering when the hippies were going to show up in this thread...
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And I was wondering when one of the fools who keep perpetuating the ignorant assumption that people with contrary opinions to any stereotypical conservative notion must be hippies.

I think you will find the number of "hippies" (do they even exist anymore?) here at the Hardforum astonishingly low ;)


Back to the real topic.

Kids today, in our part of the world, need to learn how incredibly easy they have it. I am all for presenting them with harsh demands, restrictions and timely served consequence. There is too little of this and we see the results with young people everywhere here, much like their parents they behave entitled and obnoxiously oblivious to everything out side their bubble. I love the way he outlined her responsibilities against his at her age.

I support what this father did up until pulling out the gun. He would have been more successful I believe, if he had been direct and not hid behind a time delayed video posting. The only defense I have for this poor and non confrontational style, which per definition will not gain him respect, is that he is making use of the very same social media that his child seem to have a problem with.

The gun action is bad form in so many ways. Don´t introduce a gun or any kind of tool of violence into the punishment of your child, unless your goal is to disturb your child deeply with potentially permanent residual effects.

Indirect violence of extreme character, which this is, will not result in a better dialogue between the two people. It is natural human social dynamics 101. Even more relevant between family members. He is the protector. Clearly not going to hurt her, but willing to use a weapon on her belongings. I think many of us here would feel sort of intimately marked if we lost all our data due to actions of a person we thought cared about us, so I think it is safe to say that he is striking her violently where it hurts the most. She could have her diary on there etc.

If he is an IT guy, he could restrict her internet usage or even lock her out until she had shown authentic improvement. He could also just confiscate the laptop, leaving out the destruction of something very valuable to his child.

It makes for a great video though. And now he is "famous".
 
The way some of you guys talk in this thread, I'd be amazed if you could survive GenMay.

Seriously.
 
Nice 1911.

(but he did lie once, the bullets only cost 30-40 cents a round.)
 
Bojamijams said:
He's also publicly (to the tune of TENS OF MILLIONS people) embarrassed his daughter for something that should've been done privately.

This is a giant fucking parenting fail, and anyone who fails to see the point I made above is also a failure of a parent.
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You are either still in school or you do not have kids of your own. :rolleyes:
 
On one hand, lol@the girl for being a typical teenager, acting dumb and whiny over things that every kid has to do.

On the other, you'd think a grown man would have the mental capacity to solve a problem in some other way than destroying something. What else does he do when he gets mad at her? Does he also punch holes in the drywall? Break dishes? Kick in doors?

Her future significant other might wonder why she throws glasses against the wall or takes a baseball bat to the car when she wants to deal with her anger problems. But then he'll find this youtube video and know exactly where she learned it from.
 
mynamehere said:
So many whiners here. You're probably the parents runng around crying about how your kids don't listen to you, won't do a thing you tell them, don't show me any respect, blah blah blah. Could it be that they're spoiled little "entitlement" brats?

Ya know what? I bet his kid starts paying a bit more attention when mom and dad speak from now on. Plenty of time to get those chores and homework done before bed now too!

Gotta love how so many that whine about the "entitlement generation" are here defending this kids entitlements. :rolleyes:
"He's overreacting & acting like a child because his daughter..." As if you've never wanted to do the same....you're probably just jealous because he did what you couldn't bring yourself to do (especially you NRA members). "He's teaching his kid violence through his actions..." Kids learn through INACTION as well! Ya know what they learn? They learn that they can get away with anything because if mommy and daddy won't do anything, and if they do,then the (broken) system will punish them (the parents that is), and that in turn means all authority to as far as they're concerned. Why do you think there are so many delinquents out there these days? Could he have handled it in a better way? Perhaps. Maybe it would've been cool...I mean better if he'd asked Kyle to bring over the .50 cal! :D

Kids these days are wrongfully taught that there are no for consequences their actions. Well this one just got a taste of reality. Hopefuly this prevents other, more serious, life changing consequences for future actions (and I don't just mean against her parents).

She wants to get paid? He should set a price on food, lodging, all other necessities, and make her buy her own non-essentials...I bet she'd long for "the good old days" real quick. Chores are NOT slave labor, they're life skills and responsibility training. Kids these days need to learn they must earn respect, and not just demand it. Like my dad always told us, "The world doesn't owe you a living". Mom was the one who wielded the dreaded wooden spoon and the "look" that struck fear into us kids. And you know what? They got respect (not the BS kind) and we didn't hate them for it (well, sometimes for a short while :p ). I believe that knowing about consequences for our actions kept us from becoming problem adults.

I hope he posts a vid of him handing her her "upgraded" laptop and telling her to take it out with the trash.
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I don't know about the rest of us "softies", but you got me here. Yes, I always wanted to go all guns blazing on my kid's stuff. We all know deep down guns is the only way around problems.

So you think if I took your laptop out my [H] friend, and shoot it a couple of times till it drops down dead, you would take the time to read or in this case watch before you comment next time? And that refers to the underlined bold part... she DID her chores she didn't need "plenty of time now before bed". What part of that you fail to understand?
 
I agree with everything he did except shooting the laptop at the end. That was dumb on a number of levels. Especially after spending money on it just a day before however his point regarding it was driven home.
 
All of you whiners are a bunch of pussies. I hope you never reproduce.
 
Shame we cant ship redneck bastards like the guy in that video off to africa or some other muslim nation

god... how do we let people like that walk free, when we have prisons to hold them

child abuse is horrible !!! and notebook abuse, his gun hand should be cut off with an axe
 
Skripka said:
This wasn't discipline. This was an "adult" letting his feelings take over, loose control, and behave in exactly the same manner as what the the child did that he is chastising her for. There's discipline, and then there's being destructive to make yourself feel better. This video is the father making himself feel better.
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I grew up with my mother behaving that way and she did, on occasion, try to publicly humiliate me for fairly minor things. I've never forgotten the humiliation but for the life of me, I can't recall what the punishment was actually for. Shows you how effective it was, huh?
 
well... thanks to hardocp, i've seen the biggest piece of redneck shit on the planet, mr. tommy jordan.

hope his daughter wipes her ass with his cowboy boots, and that camera he made the video with.. destroyed muhahahahahah

/spit
 
Based on what I just watched, his actions, as a father, are far worse than anything the daughter did. What lesson was that supposed to teach? All I saw was an act of public humiliation, threats, destruction of personal property, and a completely authentic lack of parenting skills.

The man provided a teaspoon of genetic meterial, regular meals and a dry place for his kid to sleep. Give him credit for that. But he fails as a father.
 
Jaerb4 said:
I grew up with my mother behaving that way and she did, on occasion, try to publicly humiliate me for fairly minor things. I've never forgotten the humiliation but for the life of me, I can't recall what the punishment was actually for. Shows you how effective it was, huh?
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Just to follow up, what those and some of her other irrational punishments taught me was simply to avoid her or including her on decisions whenever possible. Of course it's good to learn independence but I don't think that was the right way and in some situations, I've become too independent.
 
Melon said:
Oh god, every single one of you people sound like Dr. Phil. He's showing her that he is her provider and that her bratty self entitlement is his own doing, so if he chooses to rectify her act of spoiled, bratty attitude by destroying something that HE paid for? More fucking power to him.

I bet you people don't condone spanking, either? Yet, I guarantee 95% of you were spanked as children. Remember, spanking isn't beating.

A child being bored to tears, oh noes. Maybe she may appreciate certain privileges in the future, when she has to pay for her own shit.
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I approve of this message ;)
 
jfolds said:
well... thanks to hardocp, i've seen the biggest piece of redneck shit on the planet, mr. tommy jordan.

hope his daughter wipes her ass with his cowboy boots, and that camera he made the video with.. destroyed muhahahahahah

/spit
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So this guy shooting a laptop is such a bad thing to do but a child killing his father because said father took internet away is OK? Pretty fucked up. So it's OK for kids to do what ever they want but a parent isn't supposed to do anything about it?
Sorry but for every action there is a reaction. If a child is gonna act a certain way then a parent is going to react, good or bad.

I'll bet that if the girl had been doing great and the dad had decided to reward her and buy her a new laptop then that would be OK right? But it's not OK to destroy said laptop when she misbehaves though right?
 
If I had a kid with disciplinary issues, I am not so sure if I'd demonstrate to them that problems with interpersonal relations can be solved with firearms.

Unless, of course, I decide to raise my child to be an assassin.
 
Dude can't be that good at being an "IT Professional" if he spends half a day and $130 working on a pissant little laptop.
 
Exactly how not to parent.

If there were effect communication channels present in the family, a situation like this would have never escalated.

The father had bad parents, learned from his experience and then repeated the cycle.
 
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