This Keyboard Will Give You Wood

Thats an ugly POS with a crap layout and shitty looking keys. I wouldn't buy it if it was $5, or use it if it was given to me. :D
 
What? Is plastic too mainstream now? Keyboard for Hipsters. Environmentalists must be brick-shitting from the dead trees needed to make these.
 
You could buy 2 or 3 G15's by the time you factor shipping and currency conversion. :eek:
 
I've never seen people get so upset over a keyboard that they aren't planning to purchase before.
 
SkribbelKat said:
I've never seen people get so upset over a keyboard that they aren't planning to purchase before.
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It was a mere design critique. :p

You have to admit, it's hideous...and wood is a crappy keyboard material. That wont last.

Using the same design principals... Why not make it out of cheese? :D
 
I like how they have the pic of the hands cupped, holding a pile of dirt with a budding tree... so they are cutting down the trees they plant to make this? Place an order and 15 years later you can have a keyboard? I've always disliked that symbol - too much used.

I can appreciate the wood working skills, (humph, it's all CNC now anyway) to put it all together, but like DeathPrincess said, spill anything on it and you're screwed.
 
DeathPrincess said:
It was a mere design critique. :p

You have to admit, it's hideous...and wood is a crappy keyboard material. That wont last.

Using the same design principals... Why not make it out of cheese? :D
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I'd like a keyboard made from cheese! As for it being hideous, that's pretty much a matter of taste. I betcha that the designers are all like, *high fives each other* "We're amazing!" and stuff.

Tudz said:
Welcome to [H]! :D
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Aw gee, thanks! I'm glad to be here. :)

awsiemieniec said:
I can appreciate the wood working skills, (humph, it's all CNC now anyway) to put it all together, but like DeathPrincess said, spill anything on it and you're screwed.
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Actually, you'd probably be more warped than screwed. :p
 
SkribbelKat said:
I'd like a keyboard made from cheese! As for it being hideous, that's pretty much a matter of lack of taste. I betcha that the designers are all like, *high fives each other* "We're amazing!" and stuff.
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FTFY. It's like a keyboard for dullards who like everything in subdued tones and the "recycled cardboard and wool" look (aka those people who like to go to desgin/art school because they think it makes them creative, but how 0 ideas of their own) :eek:

Now onto more exciting things.

I think a mouse made of cheese would be better (and ironically ironic :p), you could have a mini babybel for the wheel and make the body from a small wedge of waxed edam! The keyboard would have to be made of a hard cheese, like a firm cheddar. Maybe the keycaps from something rough like...Parmigiano-Reggiano, and then below the keys could be Camembert. Then the cheese would all be smoked to give a pleasing aromam and the circuit board would be made of a giant Graham cracker.
 
Doesn't look like it would last a week under my abuse. I keep my Model Ms thanks just the same.
 
I happen to think that it is actually pretty cool, and if you have a really stylish looking office this could look excellent in it! (I'll stick with my ergo keyboard though)
 
DeathPrincess said:
FTFY. It's like a keyboard for dullards who like everything in subdued tones and the "recycled cardboard and wool" look (aka those people who like to go to desgin/art school because they think it makes them creative, but how 0 ideas of their own) :eek:

Now onto more exciting things.

I think a mouse made of cheese would be better (and ironically ironic :p), you could have a mini babybel for the wheel and make the body from a small wedge of waxed edam! The keyboard would have to be made of a hard cheese, like a firm cheddar. Maybe the keycaps from something rough like...Parmigiano-Reggiano, and then below the keys could be Camembert. Then the cheese would all be smoked to give a pleasing aromam and the circuit board would be made of a giant Graham cracker.
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*pat-pat* Its okay that you think it sucks. I mean, I'm all like "yeah, that's dumb looking" too, but I'd be happy with anyone who likes it since its all up to them.

So...what happens to this mouse made from cheese when I get hungry and have crackers around? I'd end up with mousey cheese on my crackers and an empty mousey pad.

Nicklebon said:
Doesn't look like it would last a week under my abuse. I keep my Model Ms thanks just the same.
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You have model M keyboards! Like the originals with metal on the bottoms?
 
No Oak option.. Unacceptable! I have standards!!!

BTW who's ordering the fromunder cheese keyboard?? :D
 
SkribbelKat said:
You have model M keyboards! Like the originals with metal on the bottoms?
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The 5 Model M keyboards I have are plastic on the bottom and date from 1990, 1991 and 1993. I also have one without the number pad manufactured in 1986.
 
SkribbelKat said:
So...what happens to this mouse made from cheese when I get hungry and have crackers around? I'd end up with mousey cheese on my crackers and an empty mousey pad.
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that's why it makes perfect buisness sense! All these other companies have to wait years (or at least a week for Razer) for people to replace their non edible peripherals! With this buisness model, people would shop weekly or daily for new keyboards.

I worked out the buisness side. As everyone in the world needs a keyboard (7 billion peoples), Say it's made of like $5 of cheese (bulk buy), if we sell them for $10, and they last 3 days, thats like $8b in the first week! $4.186T in the first year! If we sneak fertility drugs into the cheese, so everyone has 42 babies, then profits will rise to $180T in year 2! Then we could buy the entire earth and ban tablets and Zubaz.

Also it solves world hunger, and it is enviromentally friendly. Being biodegrabale (it will be eaten) and made from natural products, everyone will love it! :D
 
Nicklebon said:
The 5 Model M keyboards I have are plastic on the bottom and date from 1990, 1991 and 1993. I also have one without the number pad manufactured in 1986.
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Oh, well plastic is okay if you have 5 of them. That's still one of the most awesome piles of M-ness ever. :)
 
DeathPrincess said:
that's why it makes perfect buisness sense! All these other companies have to wait years (or at least a week for Razer) for people to replace their non edible peripherals! With this buisness model, people would shop weekly or daily for new keyboards.

I worked out the buisness side. As everyone in the world needs a keyboard (7 billion peoples), Say it's made of like $5 of cheese (bulk buy), if we sell them for $10, and they last 3 days, thats like $8b in the first week! $4.186T in the first year! If we sneak fertility drugs into the cheese, so everyone has 42 babies, then profits will rise to $180T in year 2! Then we could buy the entire earth and ban tablets and Zubaz.

Also it solves world hunger, and it is enviromentally friendly. Being biodegrabale (it will be eaten) and made from natural products, everyone will love it! :D
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Ouch! 42 babies! I hope those are getting cut out...though I guess after the first few it'd be routine. Yeah, Zubaz need to go away and touchscreen devices should be smaller than 5 inches so they're more like MP3 players. I'm in! I'll call a buncha VC types so we can get startup money that we'll end up wasting on popcorn and video games. Can we get some Kickstarter money too?
 
SkribbelKat said:
Ouch! 42 babies! I hope those are getting cut out...though I guess after the first few it'd be routine. Yeah, Zubaz need to go away and touchscreen devices should be smaller than 5 inches so they're more like MP3 players. I'm in! I'll call a buncha VC types so we can get startup money that we'll end up wasting on popcorn and video games. Can we get some Kickstarter money too?
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Not sure about Kickstarter, as thats really just for scams and silly ideas, not legit stuff like this. :p

Need a catchy title to market it more. All I have so far is "cheeboard" which is kind of lame, and "the cannibal" for the mouse. :( Maybe we can make a few high end models for like $900 which are fancy cheese, or ones with bacon bits. Maybe a vegan and lactose free line too, and an American cheese slice touchpad for Heatlesssun.

This is going to be like the film envy in real life! Apart from I don't have a horse and you don't think you killed it (and the cheese doesn't kill things)!
 
DeathPrincess said:
It was a mere design critique. :p

You have to admit, it's hideous...and wood is a crappy keyboard material. That wont last.

Using the same design principals... Why not make it out of cheese? :D
Click to expand...

Considering people still find sunken boats from hundreds of years old, I would think this keyboard is going to last much more than traditional plastic ones.

If it was made of cheese, it would stink in a couple of days, not mentioning attracting critters to your desk. The good thing is that it removes the need to go to the kitchen for a snack.

PS - As a matter of good taste, I decided not to make any comments regarding the mouse and a cheese keyboard.
 
DeathPrincess said:
Not sure about Kickstarter, as thats really just for scams and silly ideas, not legit stuff like this. :p

Need a catchy title to market it more. All I have so far is "cheeboard" which is kind of lame, and "the cannibal" for the mouse. :( Maybe we can make a few high end models for like $900 which are fancy cheese, or ones with bacon bits. Maybe a vegan and lactose free line too, and an American cheese slice touchpad for Heatlesssun.

This is going to be like the film envy in real life! Apart from I don't have a horse and you don't think you killed it (and the cheese doesn't kill things)!
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You're forgetting the amount of milk you'll need to produce in order to accomplish this.

Also, you need to use other types of cheese for other cultures (like soy cheese for Japan).

There is also the problem with greasy hands for those using the mouse.

If you want to really get rich and be loved by all women just invent a chocolate that tastes like real chocolate and help people to get thin.
 
I might be mistaken, but isn't that the Mac keyboard layout?

If so, it would explain a few things...
 
DeathPrincess said:
Not sure about Kickstarter, as thats really just for scams and silly ideas, not legit stuff like this. :p

Need a catchy title to market it more. All I have so far is "cheeboard" which is kind of lame, and "the cannibal" for the mouse. :( Maybe we can make a few high end models for like $900 which are fancy cheese, or ones with bacon bits. Maybe a vegan and lactose free line too, and an American cheese slice touchpad for Heatlesssun.

This is going to be like the film envy in real life! Apart from I don't have a horse and you don't think you killed it (and the cheese doesn't kill things)!
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You're right, a legitimate business needs venture capatalism and not any of that silly Kickstarter donation scam stuff.

For naming, it needs some kind of way to seem high-tech. That's important when marketing a product. Let's call the company Cheetech and the keyboard CHZ-2000XT because it needs a model number with the letters Z and X in it to impress people.

Why did you kill my pony? :(
 
Personally I think it's pretty cool....since when is everything only about being functional? I think if someone made a thread about how they modded their keyboard with a wooden bezel and wooden keycaps, everyone would be like "Wow great job, that's awesome," but since this costs money, everyone's like "OMG hipsters are so dumb but not me I'm smart and cool."
 
SkribbelKat said:
You're right, a legitimate business needs venture capatalism and not any of that silly Kickstarter donation scam stuff.

For naming, it needs some kind of way to seem high-tech. That's important when marketing a product. Let's call the company Cheetech and the keyboard CHZ-2000XT because it needs a model number with the letters Z and X in it to impress people.

Why did you kill my pony? :(
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Nice naming for the keyboard. You also need to release the "Gouda" version. And make sure the packaging reflects a premium product. You also need some fancy character on the packaging to attract more customers. Mickey, Jerry or Speedy Gonzalez will be expensive, so I suggest you look into alternatives like Topo Giggio or other more obscure characters.
 
SkribbelKat said:
You're right, a legitimate business needs venture capatalism and not any of that silly Kickstarter donation scam stuff.

For naming, it needs some kind of way to seem high-tech. That's important when marketing a product. Let's call the company Cheetech and the keyboard CHZ-2000XT because it needs a model number with the letters Z and X in it to impress people.

Why did you kill my pony? :(
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Also, release a Mac version and call it MacCHDR.
 
[
sviola said:
You're forgetting the amount of milk you'll need to produce in order to accomplish this.

Also, you need to use other types of cheese for other cultures (like soy cheese for Japan).

There is also the problem with greasy hands for those using the mouse.

If you want to really get rich and be loved by all women just invent a chocolate that tastes like real chocolate and help people to get thin.
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I'm not producing any milk. That would be silly on this scale. We are mass cloning Skribbelkats to be milked in sweatshops 14 hours a day, with 4 hours of posting and 4 hours of sleep. The Skribbelkats that die shall be blended and fed to the other Skribbelkats, who have signed a waver of their basic clone rights.

The greasy hand thing hasn't been problematic to other people before. I mean look at those crappy junk keyboards with the white keycaps. They are always covered in finger grease. This alieviates the problem of grease with a) making a disposible product, and b) meaning it self produces grease.

In preparation for the hard edge corporate money making I solved that issue and other little ones like cancer. Then filed them away and got ready prior art cases if anyone else tries to solve them.

SkribbelKat said:
You're right, a legitimate business needs venture capatalism and not any of that silly Kickstarter donation scam stuff.

For naming, it needs some kind of way to seem high-tech. That's important when marketing a product. Let's call the company Cheetech and the keyboard CHZ-2000XT because it needs a model number with the letters Z and X in it to impress people.

Why did you kill my pony? :(
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Can the tagline for the company be "What would you like to fondue today?™". I was looking and nobody has patented the color yellow. Or mass cloning. I thought we'd need to clone something to ramp production. If any eviromental or moral groups had problems with this, I had the plan to just tell them to STFU. If that doesn't work, how are you at arson?

I killed your pony because it was getting in the way of profit. It kept eating the cheese, which was getting in the way of progress. I'll buy you a New One™ when we reach the first trillion*.

*this might be a lie, or New One™ might be a pronoun for a new CheeTech™ trackpad.

Radical said:
Personally I think it's pretty cool....since when is everything only about being functional?
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Do you work for Microsoft making Windows 8? :p
 
It looks like bare wood with no finish. Seems uncomfortable and fragile. I'd like to see an all aluminum keys one.
 
DeathPrincess said:
I'm not producing any milk. That would be silly on this scale. We are mass cloning Skribbelkats to be milked in sweatshops 14 hours a day, with 4 hours of posting and 4 hours of sleep. The Skribbelkats that die shall be blended and fed to the other Skribbelkats, who have signed a waver of their basic clone rights.
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Since when do Skribbel clones have to be Cheetech wet nurses? :( Skribbels are for hugs, not for being moo-moo factories.

Can the tagline for the company be "What would you like to fondue today?™". I was looking and nobody has patented the color yellow. Or mass cloning. I thought we'd need to clone something to ramp production. If any eviromental or moral groups had problems with this, I had the plan to just tell them to STFU. If that doesn't work, how are you at arson?
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Won't Microsoft sue on the grounds of look and feel violations over their "Where to you want to go today?" line? Why can't we clone someone else anyhow? I won't be a unique snowflake if there's a million Skribbels around. Plus, you'd have to stock tons of chai tea latte (non-dairy), Kit-Kat bars, and yarn to keep us all from having a Skribbel-y uprising.

I killed your pony because it was getting in the way of profit. It kept eating the cheese, which was getting in the way of progress. I'll buy you a New One™ when we reach the first trillion*.

*this might be a lie, or New One™ might be a pronoun for a new CheeTech™ trackpad.
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Poor pony.... :( All it wanted was to be a flying pony like everyone else.
 
There'sa commercial product somewhat commonly available like this:

The Impecca Bamboo Designer keyboard
http://www.directron.com/kbb102.html?hardocp=1

They however just make the base out of wood and keep the keys plastic so it doesn't get all ruined right away. It's in a more reasonable price real though ( $15 - $40 online ) .. I mean to get wood that cheap normally you have to go down town. For that kind of price though you should expect a few parts to be un-natural.. so the plastic shouldn't be a big deal.

Also, even the Impecca one doesn't sell very well so I can't see this thing moving any serious volume.

---
P.S. If your going to use cheese, make the mouse out of cheese and the keyboard as a big cracker like substance. The cracker will hold up to more abuse and it's perfect in a keyboard / mouse combo. You wouldn't need quite as much milk that way too. Ideally, you'd probably want to use cheese food instead of block cheese though as that could be form molded and you might be able to get a nice wax rind or wrapper (ala laughing cow) and get something like 3 days shelf life.
 
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