You Don't Need An iPhone

Two front camera, no headphone jack, and a home button that goes buzz. I think they have run out of ideas.
 
QmgL8mZ.png

Yeah. Wow. So much for elegance. "Let's remove all the features and sell it back as a dongle" seems to be their current business model.
 
Two front camera, no headphone jack, and a home button that goes buzz. I think they have run out of ideas.

So where can I buy the phone that you have designed? I mean, you must be a fucking genius or something...
 
The article is clearly a satire/sarcasm piece, almost entirely a joke. The fact the commenters on both Gizmodo and here missed that:

The joke
Your head
 
that photo is Maddie Ziegler next to Tim Cooke. I think she is 13 or 14 years old.

I had never heard of her.

My Fiance thought it might be the musician Sia, who I had never heard of before either :p

I don't care about celebrities. My general philosophy is that they are like humans, but worse, and thus best ignored :p
 
Phones aren't just phones. They're DAPs, Cameras, mini computers and so on. I don't think this iPhone is worth getting if you have a 6s, but maybe if you have a 6 series it is (for the extra ram) or perhaps the better camera. For older iPhone owners, add the bigger screen, cpu and perhaps force touch (or whatever it's called). As a rule, i think it's nuts to buy a new phone every year (even if you can afford it), but change is happening fast enough that upgrading every 2-3 years definitely makes sense, IMO.
I'll be making my pre-order this Friday. Of course, I am still using an iPhone 5s that I've had for almost 2.5 years, so it will certainly be a noticeable upgrade. I got my phone a few months before the 6 was released. Since I didn't want to be a beta tester for the redesign the 6 introduced, I didn't mind at the time being a little behind the curve. I think I lucked out too seeing the whole bendgate and some other issues. The 6s, on the other hand, was a much more solid design (which my wife has, upgrading from an iPhone 5). Seeing that the 7 isn't a complete rebuild from scratch and it improves upon the 6s design, I'm confident it will be a worthy successor.

My biggest dilemma is deciding which phone to get. No matter which phone I go to, the 7 or the 7 Plus, I will be getting a phone that is larger than my 5s. The size of the 7 I should be able to tolerate, but the 7 Plus just seems ridiculous in size (especially when considering I have to fit it in my pocket). But I really like the two camera setup (one of my other hobbies is photography) and the true 1920x1080 screen resolution that the 7 Plus has. So I am trying to determine are those two features worth the extra bulk? I've got less than 24 hours to decide.
 
My biggest dilemma is deciding which phone to get. No matter which phone I go to, the 7 or the 7 Plus, I will be getting a phone that is larger than my 5s. The size of the 7 I should be able to tolerate, but the 7 Plus just seems ridiculous in size (especially when considering I have to fit it in my pocket). But I really like the two camera setup (one of my other hobbies is photography) and the true 1920x1080 screen resolution that the 7 Plus has. So I am trying to determine are those two features worth the extra bulk? I've got less than 24 hours to decide.

That's an interesting take.

Most people I know who are into photography (myself included) are more of the option that "since I have a really good camera already, I don't really care about the camera on my phone, or if it even has one at all. I'll just grab my DSLR." :p
 
That's an interesting take.

Most people I know who are into photography (myself included) are more of the option that "since I have a really good camera already, I don't really care about the camera on my phone, or if it even has one at all. I'll just grab my DSLR." :p

Oh, I have a DSLR (Sony A77 II) with plenty of expensive lenses (18-35 F/1.8, 70-200 F/2.8 to name a few) as well as a 1" sensor, Sony RX100. But there are times I don't have those on hand or don't feel like lugging around my kit. By no means will it ever replace a "real" camera for me, but it would be nice to have a phone whose camera is capable enough to be a useful tool to aid the other cameras or for when I don't have them on hand. Plus, there are some places a phone can go that larger equipment can't (whether it be a size limitation or location restriction).
 
Go into a store and try the 6(S) vs 6(S) Plus. I had the 6 and now have a 6S Plus. It might be unwieldy at certain times, but in most cases I have no issues using it. Personally, I will always go for the Plus version due to battery life and screen.
 
It is about time they get some larger sizes, but way to much money for the extra space which is ungodly cheap to add, solid state storage is not that expensive anymore, come on, and for $1,000 for the highest version that is pretty damn steep, this is why they (and other mfgs, not just Apple) refuse to add SD slots, they make bank off of capacity upgrades. I know some, or many people don't need the space, but I can eat up 100GB easy, from files for work, to the thousands of photos and videos from work, to personal stuff, like audibles books, which I listen to all the time, just a single short book eats up 500MB, but I keep most of that on my Nexus 5X, even without personal stuff on my iPhone 6 for work, I have 500MB free, with 36GB in icloud/iphoto.

I hand it to Apple for hardware, some nice stuff, the removing of the physical button pisses me off, I like physical buttons, even if it means more bulk....I will live with it. Head phone jack? Come on, don't bullshit us, we know it is so you can sell more of your over priced beats branded crap, anyone who is into audio knows this shit is crap and over priced for the SQ you get out of them. Yes, I know they give you an adapter, but now I get to pick charging my phone while I am at my desk, or listening to music while I work, what a shitty choice, I will deal with the bulk, and for $1k a pop you can afford to add it.

Screen upgrades...I have yet to see in person, but thanks, I will take a brighter screen (outside alot with work) and the better camera, I take lots and lots of photos that get used in reports made on a custom app on the iPad, always jealous my Nexus 5X took much better looking photos than the iPhone 6, maybe that will change.

I like some of the changes, but at the same time, many of the new features really REALLY feel like removing features or making things harder to use, no matter how I try and look at it or they try and spin it. My iPhone 6 I have had since release just about, and its getting long in the tooth, picky about how the cable is plugged in to charge, calls breaking up or dropping out, apps seem to be freezing more and more making me have to restart, been really debating if I am going to request a 6 Plus with the largest size, or the new 7. I can probably live with the changes, but for the price and being "new", why am I always having to adapt, or get used to removed or missing features? Granted my company pays for it, but still.
 
I'll be making my pre-order this Friday. Of course, I am still using an iPhone 5s that I've had for almost 2.5 years, so it will certainly be a noticeable upgrade. I got my phone a few months before the 6 was released. Since I didn't want to be a beta tester for the redesign the 6 introduced, I didn't mind at the time being a little behind the curve. I think I lucked out too seeing the whole bendgate and some other issues. The 6s, on the other hand, was a much more solid design (which my wife has, upgrading from an iPhone 5). Seeing that the 7 isn't a complete rebuild from scratch and it improves upon the 6s design, I'm confident it will be a worthy successor.

My biggest dilemma is deciding which phone to get. No matter which phone I go to, the 7 or the 7 Plus, I will be getting a phone that is larger than my 5s. The size of the 7 I should be able to tolerate, but the 7 Plus just seems ridiculous in size (especially when considering I have to fit it in my pocket). But I really like the two camera setup (one of my other hobbies is photography) and the true 1920x1080 screen resolution that the 7 Plus has. So I am trying to determine are those two features worth the extra bulk? I've got less than 24 hours to decide.
I have the 6+ and it fits in a front jeans pocket no problem - though I don't use a case. You should borrow one and see what you think.
 
Is it just me, or does Tim Cook's proportions look really out of whack in that shot as well? Reminds me of Wallace, from Wallace and Gromit...
Wallace-and-Gromit.jpg

Ahh, I miss those. Great animated series.. Watched with my kids.
 
Two front camera, no headphone jack, and a home button that goes buzz. I think they have run out of ideas.
But had Android been the first to get the buzzing touch button thing, it would have been "Why doesn't apple have this?!?" and "When Apple does get this they'll say they invented it!"


You guys are hilarious.
 
Android has had haptic feedback since fucking day one.
 
you do not need a phone period. you can argue the same points regardless of the cell phone maker.
 
picard1.jpg


This is why we can't have nice things.

I know Apple doesn't necessarily always keep up with security patches, but disregarding the ones you DO get is irresponsible, and harms everyone on th einternet, not just you.

No matter what the device, no matter what the operating system, it is always absolutely crucial to immediately patch everything!

Yeah, I really don't care and you can burn me at the stake all you want.

I have gone through too many iDevices, perfectly good ones, that are USELESS now because I continued to update with your type of thinking. I will not buy into this planned obsolescence bullshit and if you need to convince yourself that you need to upgrade for security purposes then you sure have money to burn upgrading your devices every couple of years when your exisiting one begins to shit the bed simply due to the excess of code it is not designed to handle.

The intelligent thing for Apple to do is split the updates to important security updates and optional feature updates. They will never do that. Ever.
 
I have the 6+ and it fits in a front jeans pocket no problem - though I don't use a case. You should borrow one and see what you think.
Yeah, as much as it may be considered a faux pas to have a case, I am still one of those people. Of course, I usually also have an ADP warranty too. But with a 4.5 year old and a wife who constantly drops things, the case has always provided a little extra insurance. The downside is it make the phone thicker and hides its beautiful design.

So, I think I am little more concerned as to how it will fit in my pocket and hand with a case on than I am without a case, unless I decide to be brave and go sans case, relying on just the ADP (and deductible) to save me.
 
Yeah, as much as it may be considered a faux pas to have a case, I am still one of those people. Of course, I usually also have an ADP warranty too. But with a 4.5 year old and a wife who constantly drops things, the case has always provided a little extra insurance. The downside is it make the phone thicker and hides its beautiful design.

So, I think I am little more concerned as to how it will fit in my pocket and hand with a case on than I am without a case, unless I decide to be brave and go sans case, relying on just the ADP (and deductible) to save me.

I thought the pocket test would be a problem for phablet's, but after testing, it turns out it really isn't.

The reason I avoid them though is simply because I can't - even with my freakishly large hands - comfortably reach the whole screen with my thumb, single handed. This is an absolute must-have for me.
 
I thought the pocket test would be a problem for phablet's, but after testing, it turns out it really isn't.

The reason I avoid them though is simply because I can't - even with my freakishly large hands - comfortably reach the whole screen with my thumb, single handed. This is an absolute must-have for me.
Well the "plus" models have that easy reach feature where if you double tap the home button (not press) the top quarter to third of the screen drops down so you can reach them with your thumb for single handed use.
 
Well the "plus" models have that easy reach feature where if you double tap the home button (not press) the top quarter to third of the screen drops down so you can reach them with your thumb for single handed use.

The normal iPhones have this as well.
 
The normal iPhones have this as well.
Are you sure? I was never able to get it to work on my wife's 6s but was able to get it to work on a display model of the plus.

Edit:
I now see there is a separate option that has to be enabled. I guess it was already enabled on the plus models I was demoing but not on the demo 6s nor my wife's phone.
 
Well the "plus" models have that easy reach feature where if you double tap the home button (not press) the top quarter to third of the screen drops down so you can reach them with your thumb for single handed use.
Wait that's a feature? I always thought it was a bug.
 
Are you sure? I was never able to get it to work on my wife's 6s but was able to get it to work on a display model of the plus.

Edit:
I now see there is a separate option that has to be enabled. I guess it was already enabled on the plus models I was demoing but not on the demo 6s nor my wife's phone.

Absolutely sure, I have a iPhone 6 for work and use it every day.
 
I had never heard of her.

My Fiance thought it might be the musician Sia, who I had never heard of before either :p

I don't care about celebrities. My general philosophy is that they are like humans, but worse, and thus best ignored :p

I didn't know who she was till Sia made that video with Shia LaBeouf and Maddie in a cage and it caused all kinds of controversy.
 
I had never heard of her.

My Fiance thought it might be the musician Sia, who I had never heard of before either :p

I don't care about celebrities. My general philosophy is that they are like humans, but worse, and thus best ignored :p

during my 1 minute of research she is a dancer that has been working with Sia (and dressing like her)
 
I think the woman in the pic may be a musician named Sia. She's notorious for never appearing in public without some sort of costume on bc she has a fer of being judge by her age and she is sufferring from graves disease. I could be mistaken and this could just be a random convention +1 someone brought though.



EDIT BC I"M BLIND:
seems several people have pointed out a flaw in my theory but also explained why I made the mistake lol
 
Already been pointed out that is a child that he wants to have sexual relations with.
I gotta say I wouldn't have guessed 13. I assumed she was an adult in a funny costume. I never heard of Maddie Ziegler before 5 minutes ago.
 
I'll be making my pre-order this Friday. Of course, I am still using an iPhone 5s that I've had for almost 2.5 years, so it will certainly be a noticeable upgrade. I got my phone a few months before the 6 was released. Since I didn't want to be a beta tester for the redesign the 6 introduced, I didn't mind at the time being a little behind the curve. I think I lucked out too seeing the whole bendgate and some other issues. The 6s, on the other hand, was a much more solid design (which my wife has, upgrading from an iPhone 5). Seeing that the 7 isn't a complete rebuild from scratch and it improves upon the 6s design, I'm confident it will be a worthy successor.

My biggest dilemma is deciding which phone to get. No matter which phone I go to, the 7 or the 7 Plus, I will be getting a phone that is larger than my 5s. The size of the 7 I should be able to tolerate, but the 7 Plus just seems ridiculous in size (especially when considering I have to fit it in my pocket). But I really like the two camera setup (one of my other hobbies is photography) and the true 1920x1080 screen resolution that the 7 Plus has. So I am trying to determine are those two features worth the extra bulk? I've got less than 24 hours to decide.
You get use to the size of the plus, though I had a 6 bfore I got the 6s+. I know one thing, you have to have a case. The phones are way to slippery without one. I bought a spiegen with a kickstand, which is nice for watch video on the phone.
 
Yeah, I really don't care and you can burn me at the stake all you want.

I have gone through too many iDevices, perfectly good ones, that are USELESS now because I continued to update with your type of thinking. I will not buy into this planned obsolescence bullshit and if you need to convince yourself that you need to upgrade for security purposes then you sure have money to burn upgrading your devices every couple of years when your exisiting one begins to shit the bed simply due to the excess of code it is not designed to handle.

The intelligent thing for Apple to do is split the updates to important security updates and optional feature updates. They will never do that. Ever.


I'm still using my 2013 Nexus 7 just fine. It has received monthly security updates and doesn't feel any slower than it did on day one :p

Nor does my Nexus 5x, but it is much much newer, so I wouldn't expect any degradation yet.
 
That's an interesting take.

Most people I know who are into photography (myself included) are more of the option that "since I have a really good camera already, I don't really care about the camera on my phone, or if it even has one at all. I'll just grab my DSLR." :p
I disagree. There are a lot of times I'm not going to carry my DSLR, but I always have my phone. For daytime shots, the iPhone is definitely good enough, but outside of bright light, it's pretty iffy (at least it has been up through the 6s+) ONe of these days, Canon and Nikon are going to pull the head out of their ass and start making more modern/user friendly devices, but for now, most of those cameras don't even have built in WiFi! WTF?
 
I didn't know who she was till Sia made that video with Shia LaBeouf and Maddie in a cage and it caused all kinds of controversy.

Well she looks like she's 11 or 12 there. She does seem to be a good dancer.
 
Is that real?

Android is based heavily on the Linux Kernel and has used many of the linux command line tools. If rooted you can even run busybox on it, in conjunction with a terminal app, to get a full linux command line experience out of it.

iOS is based on a highly modified Darwin (the underlying OS which OS X essentially runs as a GUI on top of), Darwin essentially stole a combination of FreeBSD and BSD-Lite which. BSD is one of the original Unix systems.

Since Linux is a Unix-like operating system, you could argue that both Android and iOS are mobile *nix implementations, yes.

Apple pulled a fast one with OS X when it first came out. The BSD license says essentially that you can use all of its code, as long as you publish your work for free. Apple was devious, so they stole essentially the entire underlying BSD OS and - with some minor modifications - called it Darwin, and then wrote the GUI as a closed source proprietary program that runs on top of Darwin. In keeping with the BSD license, anyone can download the Darwin source code without the OS X GUI for free (but no one really wants to, because without the GUI, and without the FreeBSD GUI, it is kind of useless. The GUI is closed source and not shared under the BSD license.

So Apple essentially used a lawyerly loop hole in the BSD license to steal the entire underlying BSD code and build a proprietary OS on top of it, which IMHO, really isn't cool.
 
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