1. "What do you mean, why am I kneeling in front of you while holding up some weird-ass dildo? Oh, um, you have to turn on the power-switch on the goggles...."
2. "See? Now that's what you call a cock-ring, ha ha!"
3. "Why yes, I know it looks a lot smaller without the goggles. But it's totally normal. It's actually larger than average, you can look it up!"
4. (Maybe if I kiss him it will stop him from talking)