The 12 Most Dreaded Help Desk Requests

H

HardOCP News

[H] News
Joined
Dec 31, 1969
Messages
0
Even though this is in slideshow format, this list of the "12 most dreaded help desk requests" is still mildly entertaining. Number eight is my personal favorite:

8.) "My computer has a virus, but I clicked the prompt to update my antivirus software yesterday."

Whoops. And this despite numerous reminder emails from IT about malware masquerading as antivirus updates. To be fair, some of these phishing or social engineering scams are sophisticated and tricky.
Click to expand...
 
Oh no, you mean it's a dread that the help desk needs to help people who obviously need it? Damn that sucks. Too bad everyone was computer savvy and smart, and never need a help desk!
 
sfsuphysics said:
Oh no, you mean it's a dread that the help desk needs to help people who obviously need it? Damn that sucks. Too bad everyone was computer savvy and smart, and never need a help desk!
Click to expand...

Yea how dare anyone dread anything to do with their job!
 
sfsuphysics said:
Oh no, you mean it's a dread that the help desk needs to help people who obviously need it? Damn that sucks. Too bad everyone was computer savvy and smart, and never need a help desk!
Click to expand...

Needing help because they lack common sense is a different matter though.

One of my friends called me for computer help several years ago.
Him: "I tried plugging in my new video card and now my computer doesn't work."
Me: "What did you do?"
Him: "I don't know. This game I tried playing was really slow so I thought I'd put in a new video card."
Me: "Was the computer working before you put it in?"
Him: "Yeah, all the fans were running when I plugged it in."
Me: ".....Was the computer off when you plugged it in?"
Him: "No. Why?"
Me: "....................................................."
 
The trainer who stored his files in the trash was hilarious... mostly because I had run into people that did the same thing in their e-mail.

Guess before I arrived someone lost everything and we were told to back up the trash when re-imaging. lol I never did and would openenly say its better the apologize then ask for permission.
 
sfsuphysics said:
Oh no, you mean it's a dread that the help desk needs to help people who obviously need it? Damn that sucks. Too bad everyone was computer savvy and smart, and never need a help desk!
Click to expand...

We generally like to solve problems, not undo peoples mistakes.
 
I stopped asking questions on why/how somebody screwed up their machine since I usually get the "I turned around and it got a virus all by itself!" bullshit.

It's easier to just fix the problem and move on.
 
FuzzyPoncho said:
I stopped asking questions on why/how somebody screwed up their machine since I usually get the "I turned around and it got a virus all by itself!" bullshit.

It's easier to just fix the problem and move on.
Click to expand...
Heh a guy who worked for a company we supported came in cussing us out his work computer had so many viruses on it. then demanded us to clean it for free. Which wer didn't.

logged on, went to run, saw a url on there for milf hunters. Needless to say our boss called his boss, a few moments later the "customer" and his boss walks in, asks for it back amd sits at a terminal and both have a look at what was on the computer.

Pretty sure he was fired..
 
Trimlock said:
Heh a guy who worked for a company we supported came in cussing us out his work computer had so many viruses on it. then demanded us to clean it for free. Which wer didn't.

logged on, went to run, saw a url on there for milf hunters. Needless to say our boss called his boss, a few moments later the "customer" and his boss walks in, asks for it back amd sits at a terminal and both have a look at what was on the computer.

Pretty sure he was fired..
Click to expand...
So in that particular case MILF stood for Moron Is Likely Fired. :p
 
Wouldn't it be more:

"Put your hands on the desk and pick one of your coworkers we decapitate"

But they are both equally as annoying? :eek:
 
My favorite one that I heard at my former help desk job, "Naked man, big tool, you fix." He had a fake AV that gave him porn and English as a 2nd language.
 
w4ffles said:
Needing help because they lack common sense is a different matter though.

One of my friends called me for computer help several years ago.
Him: "I tried plugging in my new video card and now my computer doesn't work."
Me: "What did you do?"
Him: "I don't know. This game I tried playing was really slow so I thought I'd put in a new video card."
Me: "Was the computer working before you put it in?"
Him: "Yeah, all the fans were running when I plugged it in."
Me: ".....Was the computer off when you plugged it in?"
Him: "No. Why?"
Me: "....................................................."
Click to expand...

He didn't electrocute himself?
 
I have two good ones (at least) from the good old days of computing.
First one I got was an email FROM a user saying that their email wasn't working. I printed it out and hung it on my wall. Never called the user and never heard from them again.
Second was a person saying they put a floppy disc in the machine, it wasn't working and she couldn't get it out. When I got there I immediately saw the problem. Her PC had two stacked floppy disc drives and she had stuck the disc in between them. DoH!
You young-uns got it easy now adays!!!
 
I always dreaded the "My mouse won't work!" ones when you're in a large building setting. For some odd reason, not understanding that the damn thing is on a cord didn't occur to them and they lacked the proficiency to follow the dangling wire and plug it into the right hole. SMH.
 
I learned a long time ago some people are ignorant on computers to just a huge extent and I try not to mock them for things.

I assume its the same with be an a engine, for instance.
 
no exacltly a helpdesk call, i was working at a mom and pop store at the time but...

me: hello cyber surf shop (name of the store)
her: what kind of surf boards do you sell?
me: we're a computer store, we don't sell surf boards (about 200 miles from the nearest ocean)
her: why would you be a surf shop if you don't sell surf boards?
me: well, we're a "cyber" surf shop
her: oh... i get it now cyber surf shop!!! while i have you on the phone can i ask you a few questions about my computer, it isn't working.
me: sure, what is it doing?
her: i does nothing when i turn it on, it hasn't been working for a few weeks now.
me: can you hear any fan when you turn it on? any noises at all?
her: well there is a fan in the room, but it isn't on, should i turn it on?
me: (long pause)
me: do any lights turn on when you press the power button?
her: no, nothing
me: can you make sure it is plugged in?
her: ok, let me check. (goes away for a minute). you know what?
me: what?
her: it wasn't plugged in!!! thanks for all your help, i have been able to get this to turn on for weeks.
me: no problem, have a great day
 
Being new to the IT force I deal with a lot of "I can't log on" requests. So #5 is painfully familiar. Though atm it doesn't help that when you let your outlook password expire it just says disconnected at the bottom of the window. But even so, when I get requests about email not working its simply an expired password. A problem that snowballs into a dozen requests because people are trying to use their old passwords for various applications accessed with the same credentials.
 
Caller: I can't figure out how to change my background.
Helper: Okay sir, let me have you close out of any programs that are running so you can see your desktop and background.
Caller: Okay I see my desktop.
Helper: What I need you to do is right click on the desktop and go to properties. (few seconds pass)
Caller: Nothing is happening.
Helper: Did a menu not appear when you right clicked?
Caller: (Few more seconds go by) No, nothing.
Helper: And you are on the desktop and right clicking on the mouse?
Caller: Well I'm writing click and it's not doing anything.
Helper: (takes a moment to digest previous statement) Sir, do you have a pen and paper and are writing click?
Caller: You said to write click and then go to properties.
Helper: **la sigh**
 
Kind of OT but if you haven't seen IT Crowd you really should.

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"
 
There is also a great scene in Cloudy with a chance of meatballs where Flint is trying to talk his father through the process of emailing a file to him. Flipping hilarious.

The phrase that I always hate to hear, the phrase that makes me realize I am screwed and the person I am dealing with is hopeless is: "It just went away."

That is when I do the face palm with a full drag down.

I still help friends with PC problems occasionally and it always boils down to kids surfing porn.
 
HardUp4HardWare said:
The phrase that I always hate to hear, the phrase that makes me realize I am screwed and the person I am dealing with is hopeless is: "It just went away."
Click to expand...

My most painful helpdesk call with a new employee was for the dreaded "I need help setting up my email" which is provided in a very nice help wizard format by google in the first place (we use gapps) but I'm obviously better at explaining things. After 2 hours helping him go through the IMAP setup screens in Outlook over the phone (he refused to try gotomeeting, which given his computer proficiency might have only extended this ordeal even longer) we're finally on the last screen-

New Hire: "OK I just deleted it"
Me: "Deleted?...Deleted what?"
NH: "The screen"
Me: "...do you mean closed the window?"
NH: "Yes I hit the X"
Me: "Why did you do that?"
NH: "I thought we were done so I could close it"
Me: *mutes phone for giant face palm and sigh* "Alright let's start over from the beginning then..."
 
Trepidati0n said:
How do you electrocute yourself with a maximum volage of +12V? The worst that could have happen is bright spots afte something shorted.
Click to expand...

haha, reminds me of my dad, he always says be careful of that computer make sure you unplug it or you'll get socked. wear rubble slipper to be safe.
 
Just the other day...

Foolish postdoc: Uh, I can't get my printer working!

Me: Is the printer turned on and properly plugged in?

FP: Yes. It's kind of loose, but it fits in there.

...

Several questions later, I decided to simply look at the printer in person. As it turns out, he had plugged his USB cable into the ethernet port of the printer...
 
#8 all the way. Had a lady who in the last 1.5 years got scammed TWICE via fake AV programs, two different ones. We told her umpteen times that if she saw anything pop-up that looked even remotely fishy, call us. She did not and got her bank account wiped of ~$400 each time because she fed it her credit card. :( Luckily her bank was good and got her money 100% back after like a week each time.
 
This one happens a few times a month for one of our clients:
user: I can't access my network drives anymore and it was working fine 5 minutes ago
me: what happens when you try to access one of the shares
user: I get a username and password prompt and it won't accept my password
me: Have you been getting messages your password is about to expire in x days for the last week? This morning being the one with 1 day?
user: uhm... no?
me: how about you log out and try to log back in
user: it says my password is expired and needs to be changed, that's weird

It's also fun when they call in to complain the VPN won't work and after a few questions you realise they are in the office, connected to the office LAN.

Am I glad I'm no longer on 1st line support :D
 
ryuen said:
It's also fun when they call in to complain the VPN won't work and after a few questions you realise they are in the office, connected to the office LAN.
Click to expand...

I solved this problem by setting up the VPN to work inside the office too. :)
 
ryuen said:
This one happens a few times a month for one of our clients:
user: I can't access my network drives anymore and it was working fine 5 minutes ago
me: what happens when you try to access one of the shares
user: I get a username and password prompt and it won't accept my password
me: Have you been getting messages your password is about to expire in x days for the last week? This morning being the one with 1 day?
user: uhm... no?
me: how about you log out and try to log back in
user: it says my password is expired and needs to be changed, that's weird

It's also fun when they call in to complain the VPN won't work and after a few questions you realise they are in the office, connected to the office LAN.

Am I glad I'm no longer on 1st line support :D
Click to expand...


This sounds very familiar to me. We have quite a few people who work from home when its not tax season. Quite a few of them should not be doing this because they call us 3-4 times a week, sometimes multiple times a day for the most mundane things.

When I first started, being fresh out of school I wasn't entirely sure of what all our network admin did for home network setups but one of the continue headaches of an employee called in and everyone else was busy so I took the call. She asked if it was possible to access her home router from the office and if the network admin did so because her kids can't get on with their tablets; she had no problem. Not realizing how much of a pain in the ass this person was I gave an honest answer; It was entirely possible but I doubted we would have did or would have need to. Every time her internet goes out shes calls in bitching about us being in her router. I get some shit for opening that can of worms...
 
I don't do desktop support anymore except for family and friends. My Father is the one who got me into computers in the Mid-90s and seemed pretty adept at the time.

Over the years he's gone from fully proficient to angrily responding with "Now slow down, son." when I tell him to click on the Start Menu.
 
I'm dead serious when I say restarting fixes at least 75% of our user's issues. We have everything group policie'd down so there's not much to bugger up. Then you get the call:

"Internet is not working"
Me: Have you tried restarting?
"No, I thought you'd ask me to do that, but I didn't think it would help"
Me: I remote in, reboot it, and get her to try again.
"You're a genius!!!!!"

I facepalm at least 4 times a day. Drs are the worst....
 
FWIW the servers where I work are upredictable, which can leave me wondering is it me or is it them.
Yes I try rebooting first.
Our company phones did go out and it took two days to convince ATT it was their hardware and not ours.
 
One of my favorites so far has been a secretary that told me it was my job to teach her how to use outlook and the new Microsoft office (2007...)

It will never stop amazing me how people who make a living working on a computer will constantly refuse to learn anything about it...
 
E=renixinq said:
Caller: I can't figure out how to change my background.
Helper: Okay sir, let me have you close out of any programs that are running so you can see your desktop and background.
Caller: Okay I see my desktop.
Helper: What I need you to do is right click on the desktop and go to properties. (few seconds pass)
Caller: Nothing is happening.
Helper: Did a menu not appear when you right clicked?
Caller: (Few more seconds go by) No, nothing.
Helper: And you are on the desktop and right clicking on the mouse?
Caller: Well I'm writing click and it's not doing anything.
Helper: (takes a moment to digest previous statement) Sir, do you have a pen and paper and are writing click?
Caller: You said to write click and then go to properties.
Helper: **la sigh**
Click to expand...
Lol! Writing "click" That's epic.

Unabomber said:
Just the other day...

Foolish postdoc: Uh, I can't get my printer working!

Me: Is the printer turned on and properly plugged in?

FP: Yes. It's kind of loose, but it fits in there.

...

Several questions later, I decided to simply look at the printer in person. As it turns out, he had plugged his USB cable into the ethernet port of the printer...
Click to expand...
Must have been an EnviroSci Ph.D and failed the round peg, square hole thing as a kid. It's amazing these people can even find the right hole to breed! :D
 
Trepidati0n said:
How do you electrocute yourself with a maximum volage of +12V? The worst that could have happen is bright spots afte something shorted.
Click to expand...

Easy. It's not the voltage that gets you. It's the current!

It takes less than 1 amp to kill.

Now go look at that power brick for your laptop, or printer...
BTW: 1200ma = 1.2a

Now...take a look at the 12v line on your average pc power supply. ;)
 
Ya, DC power is far more dangerous than AC. Hold the case while the computer is running with your left hand and grab a live 12v wire from the power supply with your right....
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top