Once Cars Can Talk, What Will They Say About Us?

CommanderFrank

Cat Can't Scratch It
Joined
May 9, 2000
Messages
75,412
Okay, I can hear you out there in the garage talking trash about me. :eek: Everything is becoming smart these days and it looks like our vehicles will be next in line. Tests are presently being conducted that will determine the feasibility of inter-vehicular communication in the very near future. Maybe soon we can all turn the road rage over to our cars. :D

If the tests in Ann Arbor prove successful, car-to-car networking is likely to be mandated by NHTSA – and may appear in cars as early as 2018. The notion of cloud-connected cars is less certain, but also seems inevitable.
 

Super-D

Limp Gawd
Joined
Jul 29, 2012
Messages
416
Don't we already have cars telling people to drive into rivers and off cliffs? The machines are rising, I tell you!
 

Red Squirrel

[H]F Junkie
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Nov 29, 2009
Messages
9,211
When I was a kid my grandma had a car that could talk. It speaked in French and always said things like "don't forget your keys". One time we went blueberry picking and the thing caught on fire at random while we were out in the fields. All I saw is a big cloud of smoke. :eek:

We had to walk back to camp. I kind of liked that car and it was sad seeing it on fire. That image is something I will never forget. I always wondered if it was screaming "Help! Fire! Fire! fire!" :D
 

satsunada

Gawd
Joined
Nov 4, 2009
Messages
632
If it's an American car, I imagine it's something like "Dear God will you diet?? My shocks are KILLING me! Do you have any idea how hard it is to stop with your fat ass sliding forward like a whale on a Slip-n-Slide!?"
 

BBA

Supreme [H]ardness
Joined
Apr 25, 2003
Messages
5,382
By the time they talk and link up with each other, the cars will not be telling you where to turn...they will be telling you to hang on while they turn for you. Right over that cliff...
 

HDriscoll

Limp Gawd
Joined
Jun 18, 2012
Messages
416
I'm always waiting for my GPS to tell me "hey stupid, you went the wrong way" when I make a little detour from my route.
 

SkribbelKat

Supreme [H]ardness
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Jan 25, 2012
Messages
5,330
By 2018. So, if that timeline works out, I'll probably have a chance at buying one in 2035 or so when you can get them used for not much monies. By then I'll be mega-old though, probably like twenty-seven or something.
 

Wumpus

Gawd
Joined
Aug 26, 2005
Messages
515
Likely from the original cast of Saturday Night Live...

Bing... Put in clutch (see how old...)
Bing... turn on ignition
Bing... Put car in reverse
Bing... Get rid of Tariff
Tariff to high! Making Japanese cars too expensive! Write to your Congressman...
 

Jagger100

Supreme [H]ardness
Joined
Oct 31, 2004
Messages
7,688
I could see where you could hack this and cause a traffic jam by falsely telling all the cars there's an accident ahead or simply a fictitious traffic jam ahead and they need to slow immediately. Once you cause an initial slowdown, in many places, the jam will be self-fulfilling.
 

vortican

Limp Gawd
Joined
May 11, 2005
Messages
146
Guaranteed way to ruin this tech and make cars more expensive at the same time: NHTSA mandate.
 

thedge

Limp Gawd
Joined
Dec 8, 2010
Messages
273
Some 70 percent of all accidents can be avoided if cars are networked, says van der Jagt. But that’s really just the beginning.

And an even higher percentage could be avoided if drivers clued in and didnt need their cars to be networked.
 

caddys83

2[H]4U
Joined
Feb 14, 2009
Messages
3,461
By 2018. So, if that timeline works out, I'll probably have a chance at buying one in 2035 or so when you can get them used for not much monies. By then I'll be mega-old though, probably like twenty-seven or something.

Mega-old? Twenty-seven? Ouch that hurt over here and im 31 :(
 

Cbshahji

[H]ard|Gawd
Joined
Jul 3, 2010
Messages
1,970
'Free ride, Free ride, bring stripper in and get Free ride' Just pay for gas
 

doz

Supreme [H]ardness
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Jun 16, 2009
Messages
5,958
Going to be alot of cars telling about what sluts women really are.
 

dandragonrage

[H]F Junkie
Joined
Jun 5, 2004
Messages
8,298
Personally, I don't think that cars (or pretty much any electronic) needs to be able to communicate with us verbally, and I don't expect anything close to the complexity of KITT/KARR to EVER exist aside from possible and unnecessary research.
 

SkribbelKat

Supreme [H]ardness
Joined
Jan 25, 2012
Messages
5,330
I'm pretty sure the article still isn't about cars talking with their drivers, but being able to communicate with one another. :( Something about inter-vehicle communication...
 

dandragonrage

[H]F Junkie
Joined
Jun 5, 2004
Messages
8,298
I'm pretty sure the article still isn't about cars talking with their drivers, but being able to communicate with one another. :( Something about inter-vehicle communication...

What, you mean you actually read the article before commenting on it, not after? :D
 

spaceman

[H]F Junkie
Joined
Jan 7, 2005
Messages
14,866
Say man, somebody stole your battery. I say we go gets the motherfucker!

Eddie murphy
 

octoberasian

2[H]4U
Joined
Oct 13, 2007
Messages
4,082
"You drive like an asshole."

"Get off that cellphone and put your eyes on the road, idiot!"

"That was a cat! That poor cat. Why did you make me do such a horrible thing?"

"Why did you think it was smart to run into a deer? Look at my front end!"

"Ugh, traffic, going to go take a nap. Wake me up when it moves." *Turns off engine*

"Would you like me to play the Cops theme song? There are a dozen police cars behind you that's why."

"That guy there called you an idiot for cutting him off. Shall we intervene?"

"That is NOT how you park. Look at those two white lines!"

"You're drunk aren't you? Fine then, turning off the car and calling a taxi."

"Dammit, why is the teeny bopper driving me again? She plays such awful music. Who in the world likes Niki Minaj?"

"You're driving on your spare again."
"You're driving on your spare again."
"You're driving on your spare again."
"Hey, listen!"
"Fine, I'm going to limit your maximum speed limit to 45 MPH since that's the fastest that spare will go."

"Can I sing along since you're singing, too?"

"You're driving like an old person in the fast lane at 65 MPH. Wait, you are old! Get off the road!"

"Why oh why are you listening to rap?"

"That bird shit on your windshield."

"It's freezing out here. Why do you live in the Northeast United States?"
 
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