The issue, as I understand it, isn't whether there are planets out there, or even if there is/was intelligent life... but one of timing.
So, if humans have had the means to communicate effectively, in space, for let's say ~60 years (guess). With the distances involved, another intelligent race would have had to identify us, decide they wanted to talk to us, then send a message. Unless they have a better/more advanced understanding of physics and how to communicate faster than the speed of light, their message won't reach us until we've gone extinct. Let alone we respond. Even if we WERE around to respond, chances are THEY would be extinct by the time they got it. The distances involved in this problem are so massive, it hurts the head. Intelligent life could be cropping up all over the universe, even at relatively the same time, and there is still such a small chance of things 'happening correctly'.
Then there is the issue of habitable planets X the chance of intelligent life forming X chance of it happening anywhere close to the same timeframe as humans. You have to realize just how brief the human capability to communicate has been. Now, multiply that by all those systems. A very nearby start could have had an advanced civilization, just like ours.....50,000 years ago.
Then there is the issue of radiowaves. They are so faint and the signal strength fades so fast, not happening.
Basically, we have to have a MAJOR revelation in our understanding of physics to make the timelines and scales manageable.
Again, my understanding after some research. By no means a physicist.
Exactly, someone who has a sound understanding of the real limitations.
I was going to post almost this, to a T.