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Many Tech Workers Are Being Bullied at Work
- Thread starter CommanderFrank
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motomonkey
[H]ard|Gawd
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motomonkey
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yeah, that was supposed to be a link to the "Hurt feelings report" but being half asleep I didn't preview it before I posted, wish you could edit/delete your own posts....
Comixbooks
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You have no idea how the workplace really works....
You go Leak and Tell on someone you are labeled as the person that should be fired.
That is what they do at Walmart anyway.
My boss said he wanted to Cap me and called me a Crack head I was pissed off for Two days straight.
Comixbooks
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I'm a decent person at work but I work with feeble minded people you gotta remember. Except for the guy who was in Nam.
RigmoroleMotorCo
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If my coworker(s)/manager cause me enough distress I pack up and move on. There are enough positives in my life where if I find the behavior of another to detract from said positives enough, I head elsewhere.
I think it's the curse of being well-endowed in a repressed culture.
Of course, it's important to weigh the positives and negatives of such things... simple strategy stuff really...
It's not worth allowing lesser people to reduce the quality of ones life... I think it's usually pretty safe to assume that if you support intelligence and ppl are bringing you down, then they are lesser... that is, if you have most stuff worked out and most ppl get along with you and you have rewarding interactions with them...
Rather than stagnate, why not move on?
I think it's the curse of being well-endowed in a repressed culture.
Of course, it's important to weigh the positives and negatives of such things... simple strategy stuff really...
It's not worth allowing lesser people to reduce the quality of ones life... I think it's usually pretty safe to assume that if you support intelligence and ppl are bringing you down, then they are lesser... that is, if you have most stuff worked out and most ppl get along with you and you have rewarding interactions with them...
Rather than stagnate, why not move on?
Comixbooks
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usually when you have a Manger getting under your skin it's because they hate themselves and are bored on the job which could be the case in Office settings. Man this paper work is hard =)
All of people just want to feel good about their self.... Everyone has problems and some people have SHIT lives outside of work. I would have to assume that a lot of people who want to cause problems for others are just doing it to try to feel some sort of power because at home they feel like they're a failure or have no power or whatever.
I had one boss recently who was pretty nice for the first couple years but then slowly turned into a hardcore bitch. I was underneath her but also had people underneath me. I was by far the hardest worker in the department and had the best numbers 11/12 months of the year. She would start literally SCREAMING at me for shit I had no control of. If someone on the other freakin side of the building did something she didn't like, she flipped shit at ME for it. If something went wrong that was no ones fault she flipped shit on ME for it. Its incredibly easy to shrug off after, but when it's happening it does PISSSSS you off big time. So eventually I got fucking tired of it and when she started screaming at me for some nonsense I threw it right back at her and told her to stop fucking talking to me that was because I talk to her with respect and should get it in return. Needless to say after that she stopped all the bullshit.
Like I was saying, it was most likely due to her life outside of work. I felt bad, she had a bunch of kids that ruled her life and she had no power at home. So once at work, she needed that feeling x10. I knew this and let it go for a while, but eventually enough is enough. What Im getting to is that even if you're having issues in life it gives you no right to shit on other people. They are no the problems in your life. Not everyone is like this. I worked with an older guy who literally had been shit on by life. His bitch wife divorced him and took his house and money. He had no where to go so he had to keep living in the house in a different room in the house he didn't own anymore. The kids don't even know they're split. He had to declare bankruptcy. He works a 2nd shit job and is up at 5am and works till 1130pm each day. Yet he is the nicest guy and doesn't bring that shit to work. Some people can deal with their shit, some people can't.
I think once you realize a lot of people out there who start bullshit are doing it because they hate their situation, it's easier to ignore. But still sometimes you gotta do something about it because no one should be making someone else feel like shit. I just agree that some people in this "study" are most likely over reacting or playing the victim instead of shrugging it off or dealing with it head on. Is what it is...
I had one boss recently who was pretty nice for the first couple years but then slowly turned into a hardcore bitch. I was underneath her but also had people underneath me. I was by far the hardest worker in the department and had the best numbers 11/12 months of the year. She would start literally SCREAMING at me for shit I had no control of. If someone on the other freakin side of the building did something she didn't like, she flipped shit at ME for it. If something went wrong that was no ones fault she flipped shit on ME for it. Its incredibly easy to shrug off after, but when it's happening it does PISSSSS you off big time. So eventually I got fucking tired of it and when she started screaming at me for some nonsense I threw it right back at her and told her to stop fucking talking to me that was because I talk to her with respect and should get it in return. Needless to say after that she stopped all the bullshit.
Like I was saying, it was most likely due to her life outside of work. I felt bad, she had a bunch of kids that ruled her life and she had no power at home. So once at work, she needed that feeling x10. I knew this and let it go for a while, but eventually enough is enough. What Im getting to is that even if you're having issues in life it gives you no right to shit on other people. They are no the problems in your life. Not everyone is like this. I worked with an older guy who literally had been shit on by life. His bitch wife divorced him and took his house and money. He had no where to go so he had to keep living in the house in a different room in the house he didn't own anymore. The kids don't even know they're split. He had to declare bankruptcy. He works a 2nd shit job and is up at 5am and works till 1130pm each day. Yet he is the nicest guy and doesn't bring that shit to work. Some people can deal with their shit, some people can't.
I think once you realize a lot of people out there who start bullshit are doing it because they hate their situation, it's easier to ignore. But still sometimes you gotta do something about it because no one should be making someone else feel like shit. I just agree that some people in this "study" are most likely over reacting or playing the victim instead of shrugging it off or dealing with it head on. Is what it is...
I had a job where the management was all screaming and swearing. On a daily basis, I'd see them going off on people (mostly just one guy, too). Even though it wasn't directed at me, I absolutely dreaded that job. It was in 2008 so finding another job was really tough then, too.
The biggest problem I see is confusion over corporate culture and professional standards. Most corporations (and, employees) believe they are the same thing. The gray area is what happens when every corporation behaves as if corporate culture IS the professional standard. IT workers tend to passively encourage unprofessional behavior because they are not taught it in school, rarely experience it in the work place and, tend to think technical knowledge is the primary, indeed only, responsibility they have. People need to wake up and realize the only thing corporations control is your paycheck. Why are so many willing to cede everything else to them as well?
Honestly if I were being bullied at work I'd just leave and become a monk living off the grid completely without needing or handling money.
Who the hell wants to work a 9-5 or worse for a corporation only to hope that you make it until a late age in life and then retire at a point in life where most people have at least one illness and old age has kicked in.
Who the hell wants to work a 9-5 or worse for a corporation only to hope that you make it until a late age in life and then retire at a point in life where most people have at least one illness and old age has kicked in.
There is a time and place for everything. Some people like to horse around a bit, its fine. It just crosses the line when its not mutual or really bad timing (like in front of the boss or whatever). Some people just don't want to participate in that, and that should be respected. But I think there is also some responsibility for an employee that doesn't feel like they "fit in" to either put up with it or find somewhere else to work.
I personally troll the fuck out of IT people because they're lazy dumbasses with cerebral penises the size of an ant compared to my hung-like-a-moose mental cock. Completely worthless and only work in IT because they couldn't hack it as an engineer. There is nothing an IT worker does on a daily basis that I couldn't do twice as well for half the cost with my brain's idle cycles.
Too harsh?
Too harsh?
You seem to have dick on the brain; like really preoccupied with the male phallus. Anything you want to "come out" and tell us?
Cerulean
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Donno about that.
The computer system should work for the user, not the other way round.
locsplitter
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too much emotion in this thread.
locsplitter
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TwistedAegis
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But that's the entire point, is that if someone has been trained to be instantly rewarded for feigning injury at the slightest verbal "touch", it becomes virtually impossible to maintain the walking-on-eggshells environment around them because they are just looking for any excuse to cry foul. And even if you do, they will make crap up to be offended about and blow it out of proportion as a power play. To pretend that we aren't experiencing this wide scale in America right now is disingenuous to say the least.
Sometimes you just have to suck it up and admit that something is wrong with our culture, and that the solution isn't "well just be even MORE sensitive to the cry babies", as all that does is spread itself.
As a manager over the past decade, it's nothing like that. It's pretty apparent there are quite a few abrasive people to work with in here.
This. Arguing and being passionate in meetings, etc, is one thing. The guys who still want a frat house atmosphere (also highly prevalent in IT, startups, etc) just need to grow up.
ZLoth
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I'm more interested in my professionalism, getting my cases cleared out, and keeping my customers happy than I am competing with what car one drives, what the latest tech toy one has, and what alcoholic beverage they drink. (Hint: I don't drink). It's bad enough that I'm a child of the eighties, but I don't like the music of the eighties, and while they were playing World of Warcraft (which was a popular game a few years ago), I was concentrated on expanding my skillset and moving above my station. and, oh yeah, making sure that I have something to retire on.
My idea of "fun" may not be your idea of "fun", but guess what? It's nice to have different viewpoints and different experiences. This is a workplace, not a glorified high school.
My idea of "fun" may not be your idea of "fun", but guess what? It's nice to have different viewpoints and different experiences. This is a workplace, not a glorified high school.
65% though? Give me a break.
Remember, the question here isn't whether or not there are bullies, the same as whether or not there are actual blatant fouls in soccer, but whether there is a cultural problem just like in soccer where people over-dramatize any injury because its so richly rewarded.
And I know for a fact that we have people that pretend to be overly offended and at minimum tremendously "embellishing" a story purely for the sake of hurting the people they don't like, or for personal gain. In fact, it even happened to a close relative, which unfortunately for legal reasons I can't discuss in detail, but they were "fired" (albeit under very positive circumstances golden parachute style) as management knew it was 100% unadulterated manufactured BS, but legal recommended the company nevertheless take action to protect and distance themselves, regarding accusations from two very close friends of an employee that was fired for documented and well known incompetence.
Oops, I meant to post this hilarious bit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSlcROX8HPE
Dan
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Read most of this thread and people seem to have alot of different opinions. I got bullied pretty high on the aggressiveness. People saying "grow skin" or "grow a pair" really need to shut up. Due to bullying in high school I had 3 different hospital visits due to me "growing a pair". I eventually learned that to just shut up was my best course of action.
Talk back to the bullies and his buddies = Get a beating
Report to the teachers = Get a beating, Now you look even weaker cause you "cried to superiors".
I was NOT a weak person, I was NOT a bad looking kid. I played sports till high school. I was just THE target since elementary school. I dont know why my skin is so think. rarely I got upset, Only the times where I felt everyone was out to get me, The times where I had no one to invite to parties or ever got invited to parties. Bullying leads to isolation and isolation is where it becomes a dark place mentally. I've seen this carry over into jobs and I make it a point to find that target and befriend them. As a adult I can carry myself just fine and now people tend to like me. No one should be left alone or feel excluded. I don't wish harm to any of my youth bullies or adult bullies (i still have a few that i laugh off now). The victims do need to realize that life does go on, and great things can happen. My story is a success story, but unfortunately I know a few people who took their own life due to reasons.
**my thread from awhile ago about overcoming my own bullying**
http://hardforum.com/showthread.php?t=1793511&highlight=
Talk back to the bullies and his buddies = Get a beating
Report to the teachers = Get a beating, Now you look even weaker cause you "cried to superiors".
I was NOT a weak person, I was NOT a bad looking kid. I played sports till high school. I was just THE target since elementary school. I dont know why my skin is so think. rarely I got upset, Only the times where I felt everyone was out to get me, The times where I had no one to invite to parties or ever got invited to parties. Bullying leads to isolation and isolation is where it becomes a dark place mentally. I've seen this carry over into jobs and I make it a point to find that target and befriend them. As a adult I can carry myself just fine and now people tend to like me. No one should be left alone or feel excluded. I don't wish harm to any of my youth bullies or adult bullies (i still have a few that i laugh off now). The victims do need to realize that life does go on, and great things can happen. My story is a success story, but unfortunately I know a few people who took their own life due to reasons.
**my thread from awhile ago about overcoming my own bullying**
http://hardforum.com/showthread.php?t=1793511&highlight=