The problem is, I haven't booted one up yet--I'm guessing they might be really loud. Unless there's something totally rad I could do, I'm not entirely sure where I'd put it so that it wouldn't drive my wife crazy.
1. Museam piece
2. Boat Anchor
3. Ballast for a hot air balloon
4. Height booster for a short person
5. Computer for a toothless hillbilly
6. CPU Brain in an awesome Leprechaun detection device
7. Weight for a press in your own personal herbarium
As others have suggested, seriously just get a Mac Mini Server. It will literally be faster, and next to whisper quiet. They make crazy good media servers.
Get one with dual SSD's (install 'em yourself for savings) and for additional space an external Thunderbolt array, and the whole machine will scream. Less expensive option is one SSD for boot, and a 1TB+ secondary drive.