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None of it makes sense, really. Realtek audio and graphics settings have nothing to do with one another and neither should have anything to do with getting booted out of the game in MP. But somehow it does, apparently.
Anyway, are you saying that you can run graphics on high so long as you disable onboard audio? I don't have a discrete soundcard (nothing seems worth the money except the $30 Xonar DG, which is PCI-only and won't fit now that I've got three video cards) but I'll try disabling the onboard audio just to see if that's true for me.
There is an ASUS Xonar USB audio adapter that might work