Glitterbomb 3.0 Porch Pirates 2020

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Well, they don't deserve to die, but they do deserve jail time, community service & stiff fine. I would have put waaaaay more of that skunk piss in there.
We'll have to disagree on this. Used toilet paper is worth more than these people. Killing a thief is doing them and human development a favour. I'll quote Niven and Pournelle "Think of it as evolution in action."
 
Well the problem with putting boobie traps that cause physical harm is they are lawsuits waiting to happen and yes the thieves will win in court. oh yeah its also 100% illegal and you'll easily face criminal charges. Hell saying "coronavirus deploying in 3...2.." could also be construed as an act of terrorism... yeah its illegal to say you're going to release s virus even if you don't.

That said those dye packs banks use would be way better than glitter
 
Yeah, a death sentence seems a bit extreme for petty theft.

That said, if the device pepper-sprayed the perps, I'd be OK with it.

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It is not petty theft. If they did it once they did it before. Some of these fuckers just follow amazon trucks and scooped the package right after they drop them off. While death is a little too much I am ok with chopping a hand off.
 
It is not petty theft. If they did it once they did it before. Some of these fuckers just follow amazon trucks and scooped the package right after they drop them off. While death is a little too much I am ok with chopping a hand off.
Perhaps chopping off the hand of a family member? Give em something to live with. Guilt can be an excellent tool.
 
Perhaps chopping off the hand of a family member? Give em something to live with. Guilt can be an excellent tool.
Eh. I am not one to punish people who didn't actually commit the crime. You look at some of these people and can tell they have zero fucks if someone else takes the fall and won't dissuade them.
 
Eh. I am not one to punish people who didn't actually commit the crime. You look at some of these people and can tell they have zero fucks if someone else takes the fall and won't dissuade them.
I suppose you're right. That would probably feed their ego. I still stand by my Grinch suit idea though. :)
 
And 2 boys. So. Basically. I'll never retire. I've come to terms with it.
ouch... my first came when I was in my young 40s, and a couple years later of course my wife got baby fever again when some of her friends she met during "mommy support groups" ended up having 2nds. And I was like, nope not going to happen, as it is I'm going to be close to retirement when he graduates high school. Yeah she was pissed for a while saying "You're not even discussing this with me" and I was like "there is no discussion, I don't want any more" she got over it eventually.
 
ouch... my first came when I was in my young 40s, and a couple years later of course my wife got baby fever again when some of her friends she met during "mommy support groups" ended up having 2nds. And I was like, nope not going to happen, as it is I'm going to be close to retirement when he graduates high school. Yeah she was pissed for a while saying "You're not even discussing this with me" and I was like "there is no discussion, I don't want any more" she got over it eventually.
I wonder what her boyfriend thinks about kids.

I'm 37, my oldest girls will be 17 on Christmas day. Youngest is 9. So, another 10 years and 14 million dollars in post secondary education later and I should be "free".
 
We'll have to disagree on this. Used toilet paper is worth more than these people. Killing a thief is doing them and human development a favour. I'll quote Niven and Pournelle "Think of it as evolution in action."
For a pair of Chinese slave labor made headphones? I guarantee you that if you did that you'd go to jail for life. Also, did anyone else notice the device probably costed more than the headphones advertised on the box?

It is not petty theft. If they did it once they did it before. Some of these fuckers just follow amazon trucks and scooped the package right after they drop them off. While death is a little too much I am ok with chopping a hand off.
I didn't know you were middle eastern? I thought you were saiyan.
 
For a pair of Chinese slave labor made headphones? I guarantee you that if you did that you'd go to jail for life. Also, did anyone else notice the device probably costed more than the headphones advertised on the box?


I didn't know you were middle eastern? I thought you were saiyan.
I am not middle eastern. Pure blooded american Saiyan.
 
How about a box full of yellowjackets or hornets? And to be on the safe side, put an Epi-pen in there with them.
 
For a pair of Chinese slave labor made headphones? I guarantee you that if you did that you'd go to jail for life.
Off the porch it would be up to a jury of idiots so it would be a toss up. Cross the threshold? I wouldn't even be charged and I'd sue the estate for the cleanup.
 
saw that, didnt bother. after 2 fakes, nope...
edit: also not tech news.
The technology and ingenuity that went into making these does qualify as tech news.

He didn't know that 2 reactions were fake, and he removed them. Everything in the videos on the page now is legit.

Go hate on some other thread maybe?? Intel va AMD?? No? Nvidia vs AMD? C'mon, be an AMD fan. All the cool kids are doing it. Great!, not go hate on Nvidia in some other thread!
 
The technology and ingenuity that went into making these does qualify as tech news.

He didn't know that 2 reactions were fake, and he removed them. Everything in the videos on the page now is legit.

Go hate on some other thread maybe?? Intel va AMD?? No? Nvidia vs AMD? C'mon, be an AMD fan. All the cool kids are doing it. Great!, not go hate on Nvidia in some other thread!
ok, white knight.
 
ok, white knight.

Yep, he's a white knight who is right.

This 3rd vid has some awesome way over-engineered additions to the "product". It's hilarious, especially on the pin that stops them from putting the cover box back on easily. Enjoy some skunk infused fart spray while you try to put the cover back on!
 
Yep, he's a white knight who is right.

This 3rd vid has some awesome way over-engineered additions to the "product". It's hilarious, especially on the pin that stops them from putting the cover box back on easily. Enjoy some skunk infused fart spray while you try to put the cover back on!
thats a more reasonable response but i never questioned his engineering.
 
Replace sparkles with napalm and fart spray with an ignition source.

Or at least add some spray adhesive to make the sparkles have more sticktion
 
Seems like an expensive waste just to get a laugh without getting the scummy thieves arrested. Unless you get off on video "likes".
 
probably will. 17 million views right now, $1000-2000 per million views give or take, and it looks like simplysafe paid for product placement.

Yeah, did not realize they had that many views. I keep hearing a lot more we got the suspect on camera then police say, '"well meh, so what".
 
Yeah, did not realize they had that many views. I keep hearing a lot more we got the suspect on camera then police say, '"well meh, so what".
Yeah I mean you'd think video evidence plus a GPS log would be enough. Absolutely insane.
 
I find the guys concern for the thieves when he only puts a few drops of skunk extract in there disappointing.

Here is what I would like to do.

Re-engineer the thing. Remove the custom PCB and all the phones. Make it cheap enough that it can be mass produced.

Replace the "fart spray" sprayers with pepper spray.

Make them in the millions. Make different sizes and shapes so lowlife thieves can't tell in advance.

Have them on every porch in America.

Make the thieves take a gamble. Sure 2/3 of the time you may actually steal something you want. But there is a one in three chance your eyes are going to BURN

Then sit back and see what see what happens to the rates of porch piracy.
 
But did they?

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17.6 million views and counting. #44 on trending videos.

I'm not sure exactly how that translates to profits, but I'm sure it's not too shabby.

Especially if he sells some of the merch he is hocking in the video.
 
This video is clever but too kind. I'm all for getting medieval on thieves.

Seems like an expensive waste just to get a laugh without getting the scummy thieves arrested. Unless you get off on video "likes".
Really, this video wasn't that funny. The first couple of video's the reactions of the people opening the packages was pretty good. On this one, they were like "We've been rick-rolled!" One even comments with glee that it was a glitter bomb. In most of the videos the people are just laughing. Really disappointing. I'd be happier with another squirrel ninja course video instead.
 
Yeah, the only downside is that now such a large number of people have seen the videos, that they know what it is half the time. He should have taken 2 to 3 years off in-between doing these, give people time to forget.

But, as others pointed out, views = $. But he really needs to take a break from this particular prank.

The first 2 years, it was great, especially that first year, the dudes in the car, they had no idea wtf was about to happen, lol..
 
Then sit back and see what see what happens to the rates of porch piracy.
Then the police knocks on your door and arrests you for having booby traps that cause physical harm to people, oh yeah one of the overweight fat cows that stole it also had breathing problems and is now dead, so you're being charged for murder. Yeah it sucks, but criminals have more rights against you, than you have rights against people stealing your shit.
 
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