Gaming in your 40s

RareAir23

Limp Gawd
Joined
Sep 25, 2006
Messages
307
Well I'm 42 going on 43 in September. While I am single and have no family of my own I still game wherever and whenever I can but...it's a but harder to find time now. I just went through a family tragedy about 2.5 months ago now and had to help said family member through her trials as best as I could while she was alive. But I've also found my life outside of gaming to have grown to be busier and needing more of my time. Especially since the lockdown rules have subsided in my area I'm getting out more and playing disc golf (and trying to get back into billiards) and I also spend time with my friends a lot plus I am still writing an autobiographical project of my life and do enjoy blog writing. I built a new gaming rig as many of you might've expected with some of the posts I made in 2020 and 2021 concerning subject matter in said posts. However; this last rig I built for myself may be the last new one I build from scratch for myself period. These days while I try to find time on my PC to game, I spend most of the time on my Nintendo Switch OLED. Also, got myself an XBox Series X recently and will get a suitable TV for the room it is going in this weekend. With all this going on though, I have been gaming since Atari when I was like 5 years old. But as more and more time goes by, I've tended to understand there's more to life then just video gaming and as I get older? More and more of that time goes elsewhere away from gaming. I'm hoping soon to make more time to game again but we'll see. I feel like the last few years especially, I've let fate be the driver in my life and whatever directions it steers me in? That's where I go and what I do. Out!
 

bananas1

Weaksauce
Joined
Apr 1, 2022
Messages
108
Well I'm 42 going on 43 in September. While I am single and have no family of my own I still game wherever and whenever I can but...it's a but harder to find time now. I just went through a family tragedy about 2.5 months ago now and had to help said family member through her trials as best as I could while she was alive. But I've also found my life outside of gaming to have grown to be busier and needing more of my time. Especially since the lockdown rules have subsided in my area I'm getting out more and playing disc golf (and trying to get back into billiards) and I also spend time with my friends a lot plus I am still writing an autobiographical project of my life and do enjoy blog writing. I built a new gaming rig as many of you might've expected with some of the posts I made in 2020 and 2021 concerning subject matter in said posts. However; this last rig I built for myself may be the last new one I build from scratch for myself period. These days while I try to find time on my PC to game, I spend most of the time on my Nintendo Switch OLED. Also, got myself an XBox Series X recently and will get a suitable TV for the room it is going in this weekend. With all this going on though, I have been gaming since Atari when I was like 5 years old. But as more and more time goes by, I've tended to understand there's more to life then just video gaming and as I get older? More and more of that time goes elsewhere away from gaming. I'm hoping soon to make more time to game again but we'll see. I feel like the last few years especially, I've let fate be the driver in my life and whatever directions it steers me in? That's where I go and what I do. Out!
I like to follow where my natural interest pulls me. Firing up that intense shooter or competitive game doesn't always scratch the itch. I usually don't have the energy for the twitchy inputs even if I'm looking for PvP action. But I get the same enjoyment from playing sports which has more benefits so I've found myself gaming less overall. I think when we were younger, PC games offered an experience you couldn't get anywhere else. Now, it feels like it's mostly the same experience as a console but with more complex inputs.
 

braamer

[H]ard|Gawd
Joined
Jun 28, 2004
Messages
1,630
Figured out last night i can murder my squad on Battlefield V and had a fantastic time griefing people for 3 hours, well past when i should have been asleep. Was 10 minutes late to doctors appointment this morning because of it, still worth it.

You ruin online gameplay for other players and then brag about it... ugh.
 
Joined
Jun 19, 2005
Messages
2,073
I can relate to the guilt. Gaming after all takes up a shitload of time. Checks Elden Ring clock... 150 hours and I still don't have the whole map unlocked. I think I feel the most guilt about sitting for ridiculously long periods of time. It's terribly unhealthy, especially considering that I work an office job where I also sit all day. Somehow my back is still holding up but I probably just jinxed myself by saying that.

What's worse is that time appears to be accelerating the older I get. And I just don't get the same joy out of things that I used to. We experience some incredible things in life but after a while those things become normalcy, even boring. I remember being absolutely blown away by VR the first time I tried it. And now that magic has completely worn off and it's just another video game console.
 
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Nenu

[H]ardened
Joined
Apr 28, 2007
Messages
20,098
I can relate to the guilt. Gaming after all takes up a shitload of time. Checks Elden Ring clock... 150 hours and I still don't have the whole map unlocked. I think I feel the most guilt about sitting for ridiculously long periods of time. It's terribly unhealthy, especially considering that I work an office job where I also sit all day. Somehow my back is still holding up but I probably just jinxed myself by saying that.

What's worse is that time appears to be accelerating the older I get. And I just don't get the same joy out of things that I used to. We experience some incredible things in life but after a while those things become normalcy, even boring. I remember being absolutely blown away by VR the first time I tried it. And now that magic has completely worn off and it's just another video game console.
I strangely feel a lot of this!
 

equinox654

Gawd
Joined
Apr 7, 2005
Messages
567
What's worse is that time appears to be accelerating the older I get. And I just don't get the same joy out of things that I used to. We experience some incredible things in life but after a while those things become normalcy, even boring. I remember being absolutely blown away by VR the first time I tried it. And now that magic has completely worn off and it's just another video game console.
Yeah I feel like a need an entire day just to not feel like I fired up the game to only have to close it and go to bed 5 minutes later.
 

Mchart

Supreme [H]ardness
Joined
Aug 7, 2004
Messages
5,482
Ignoring the karen comments and other jackassery; The older I get the less I am into the latest games. They just don't resonate with me anymore outside of truly special games like Elden Ring, etc. I've been starting to just stick with playing older games at this point. I find it way more enjoyable. Also, playing a classic Genesis game with the kids is so much more fun than just sitting on a computer playing some trash like Fortnite, COD, etc.
 

UnknownSouljer

Supreme [H]ardness
Joined
Sep 24, 2001
Messages
7,214
Skimmed the op, didn't read all the thread replies, but I'll throw in my 2 cents.
...
Personally I think it's a big bag of: 'who cares?' Life is short. Hobbies are only as useful to you as much as they give you joy. And if they aren't doing that, then their value, even objectively, isn't worth anything.
I doubt people look at my post history much, but I basically gave up gaming as a primary hobby in my late 20's. At least in terms of what I would consider "otaku" level, where I played every major release, was hyped for console launches, and whatever else (and I was around for all of the major generational releases in terms of graphics and gameplay from the late 80s 'till the present). Then eventually I realized that my "hobby" was just another form of work and I didn't really enjoy it that much. Part of that came from my short 2 year stint in computer hardware journalism (for the now long defunct Viperlair). It was replaced for a short time with computer hardware and also games collection, but then I also realized that I didn't really like/care about the time commitment or the money commitment.

At this point, I'm satisfied if I can find a game once every 2 years that I think is even worth playing. I liken games/gaming to films at least in the sense that most of the mass market stuff is trash, you're doing well if it's at least fun (if mindless fun), but certainly not something that engages me cerebral-y. And that's personally what I look for in games/movies and as we know that's very far and few between (although media creation is bigger than it ever has been, and it's a lot easier these days to find good shows/films to watch than it is to find good games to play). I mostly prefer singleplayer, story driven games. I generally want tight and well made to sprawling or open world/sandbox, because frankly I don't have the time. I'd much rather play a tight precise 10 hour game where every experience is hand crafted and designed than a sprawling/exploring 120 hour one where the goal is "emergent gameplay".

Larian has been able to scratch that itch (Divinity Original Sin 2, may be one of the best RPG's of all time, and this is despite the time commitment being massive). And I liked both of the DX prequel games. There have been a few others smattered here and there. But, for the most part I go for many months without firing up a game at all, and I'm more than happy with that.

I think there is nothing wrong with having a reorientation in priorities. Morning loss (of something, anything, gaming in this case) is fine. But I also think moving on and being content not doing something that doesn't do anything for you anymore is also more than fine. And it's not like you can't pick it up again in the future. Perhaps when your kid(s) are an appropriate age to share games with. Maybe you can show them the original Super Mario Bros on NES and then blow their mind with SMB3, like what happened with all of us older Millenials and late Gen-Xers growing up.
 
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ShuttleLuv

Supreme [H]ardness
Joined
Apr 12, 2003
Messages
7,228
Still the same vibe and feelings, still good at it, but it feels "different". 39 Here.
 

Blackstone

2[H]4U
Joined
Mar 8, 2007
Messages
3,376
Normal. I am 41 and my son just turned 2 a few months ago. At a certain age they definitely start to tire you out. There is a sense of loss/grief associated with this stage, as I can no longer sleep in, let alone spend all of Sunday blowing stuff up on the computer. I don't feel guilty, per se, but I also find I do not get the same enjoyment out of it. Part of the problem is that when you have the responsibility of having kids, you inherently have less free time and therefore you must choose how to spend it more carefully. In my opinion the current crop of games just does not command my time or attention. I would rather put that time and energy into more family oriented things. Also, I am finding at this stage wife simply will not allow me the time.

Also, having kids just kind of blows your mind in the sense that it makes everything else feel trivial. Perhaps the escapism is not as appealing because you no longer want to escape.

However, I find myself looking forward to a time when I can share my gaming hobby with my son. There are ways to engage in the hobby without sinking time into actually playing. For example, I am using the time I am not sinking into gaming into planning the ultimate game room/office for myself and my son to play together in the future. So instead of hardware this year, I am investing in new chairs, desks, furniture, decor. Also, it is a good time to focus on health, finances, ect.

At the end of the day, you have X amount of free time, and it is up to the game developers to create software that demands that free time of us. Gamers in their 40s have at this stage seen every stage of video game development from pong to...whatever the latest game is. Chances are if you aren't getting sucked into a game it is because the game just isn't worth your time. We also require games that are easier to pick up and play and put down on our time.

Gaming isn't going anywhere. The real question is how it will be incorporated in your family life. My dad was not a gamer. If he was, I can't imagine how much fun we would have had together playing. There are other ways to celebrate and engage. My son has a mountain of Pikmin and Mario stuffed animals that he loves. He knows the characters by name. He found my Amiibo stash. It is fun sneaking gamer culture into his a life and I see it as a chance to reconnect with my own childhood.

Worst case scenario, you take a break and when you get back to it in a few years, there is a whole new generation of technology to explore with your kids. I seriously doubt your kids will have any complaints about too much gaming in the house. Your wife, that is another story!
 

Nebell

2[H]4U
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
2,123
I just turned 38 and yeah, not quite there yet, but curious enough to read, (almost) (b)old enough to comment.

Reading the posts got me a bit worried, although when I read between the lines, the hidden message is "don't get kids".
Fortunately I have none. It keeps me young at heart and the 24 year old I'm dating says I'm not at all like someone around my age (God knows how many 35+ she's dated and I'm not going to ask).
The thing is, even without kids, it's not the same thing as when I was in my 20s. I have a lot less time for bullshit and time wasting in a video game. I get frustrated when I can't progress in hard games, therefore Souls-like games don't appeal to me.
I find myself mostly chilling on couch playing Rocket League on PS, or if I really feel like gaming, I tend to fire up a MMORPG or a survival game. I don't do 8+h/day gaming sessions like before.
 

harmattan

Supreme [H]ardness
Joined
Feb 11, 2008
Messages
5,015
Worst case scenario, you take a break and when you get back to it in a few years, there is a whole new generation of technology to explore with your kids. I seriously doubt your kids will have any complaints about too much gaming in the house. Your wife, that is another story!
This is a good way to look at it. In my late teens through early 30s I was nearly entirely focused on study, work and work/sports so generally missed a whole decade and a half of gaming and basically anything else life had to offer. Time started freeing up around my mid-late 30s as I got situated in my career. And now in my early 40s, I'm focusing on the hobbies I love again, and starting new ones (although even without kids, home/car/boat ownership, family sucks time). I recall getting an Xbox One a few years after it was released and it was a marvel to me.
 

sc5mu93

Gawd
Joined
Jul 11, 2018
Messages
822
45 now. kids are now the age where they can play and actually be useful in coop. My PC gaming hours have gone up.

Prior to that, when kids were just time-sucks, i would retro handheld game on the toilet. So things are getting better!
 

Westwood

Supreme [H]ardness
Joined
Nov 17, 2012
Messages
6,977
45 now. kids are now the age where they can play and actually be useful in coop. My PC gaming hours have gone up.

Prior to that, when kids were just time-sucks, i would retro handheld game on the toilet. So things are getting better!
Not sure if this is a good thing or not, but I am looking forward to a day where I can tank and my kid can heal. XD
 

sc5mu93

Gawd
Joined
Jul 11, 2018
Messages
822
Not sure if this is a good thing or not, but I am looking forward to a day where I can tank and my kid can heal. XD
Wont be long until you are the support role. My kids are already better than me at most fast reaction games.
 

J3RK

[H]F Junkie
Joined
Jun 25, 2004
Messages
9,998
Wont be long until you are the support role. My kids are already better than me at most fast reaction games.

I practice. :D It's why I made myself play through the path of pain multiple times on Hollow Knight, finally got myself into From Software games properly, and play things like Doom / Doom Eternal whenever possible. I will not allow them to pass me up anytime soon. Sure, I want them to do better than me some day, but they're going to have to EARN that!!! :D :D :D My middle daughter (15) is every bit as good as me at Hollow Knight, she just didn't take that path. She did everything else on her own, and otherwise 100%ed the game. Got multiple endings, did all the secrets EXCEPT the path of pain, etc. She's REALLY good. Also really good at Doom Eternal. I'm pretty impressed. I keep her PC updated because she made me teach her how to build it, and did it all herself. Plus she is really good at her games. My other daughters are great too, but with different types of games, and don't really care as much about the PC building aspect. (so my 15 year old gets the preferential treatment. :D )
 

equinox654

Gawd
Joined
Apr 7, 2005
Messages
567
I’m about to turn 38. I am having a harder and harder time finding games that give me enjoyment.

I used to love mmos but find them boring now. I think what I want isn’t out there. Last one I enjoyed was archeage. Building a house and farm and ships was awesome, but it was too pay to win to compete. Now I am spoiled by those mechanics and nothing comes close.

First person shooters have been a disappointment. I was a big fan of bad company 2 and bought battlefield 2042 to replay my favorite map Valparaiso. I got on the first time and had teary eyed nostalgia only to find they broke hit reg and aiming and I couldn’t even level up guns in portal.
I tried to play it yesterday and portal was so empty I had to settle for Atacama desert. Felt like I could hit people now, but the games dead.

I think they killed a lot of the magic by getting rid of dedicated servers and mods. I enjoyed modern warfare a couple of years ago, but it was missing the magic of the original with servers and mods.

Another thing is the map design they killed off all of the choke points. I used to love taking cover with my team and pushing up. Now everything has 3 ways to flank.

I have found the most enjoyment playing PlayStation exclusives on my ps5 like horizon forbidden west and demons souls. which is sad because I have a 3080 and a lg cx48 on the pc.
 

J3RK

[H]F Junkie
Joined
Jun 25, 2004
Messages
9,998
I’m about to turn 38. I am having a harder and harder time finding games that give me enjoyment.

I used to love mmos but find them boring now. I think what I want isn’t out there. Last one I enjoyed was archeage. Building a house and farm and ships was awesome, but it was too pay to win to compete. Now I am spoiled by those mechanics and nothing comes close.

First person shooters have been a disappointment. I was a big fan of bad company 2 and bought battlefield 2042 to replay my favorite map Valparaiso. I got on the first time and had teary eyed nostalgia only to find they broke hit reg and aiming and I couldn’t even level up guns in portal.
I tried to play it yesterday and portal was so empty I had to settle for Atacama desert. Felt like I could hit people now, but the games dead.

I think they killed a lot of the magic by getting rid of dedicated servers and mods. I enjoyed modern warfare a couple of years ago, but it was missing the magic of the original with servers and mods.

Another thing is the map design they killed off all of the choke points. I used to love taking cover with my team and pushing up. Now everything has 3 ways to flank.

I have found the most enjoyment playing PlayStation exclusives on my ps5 like horizon forbidden west and demons souls. which is sad because I have a 3080 and a lg cx48 on the pc.

I've found that most big budget games are letting me down these days. I have branched out a bit though. I absolutely loved Elden Ring. I sunk TONs of hours into that. I thought I was going to like a few others that I picked up, and barely touched them.

On the other hand, I thought I hated Doom Eternal initially, then gave it another chance, and got hooked all the way through to the end.

I can't stand playing with people online, so those experiences haven't let me down, because they haven't had the chance. I used to enjoy ET: Quake Wars though, (a game with some good choke points by the way) but I think that time has passed with me.

Now I get the most enjoyment from the following:
Indie games. Hollow Knight, Sundered, Hyper Light Drifter, etc.
Single player shooters or hybrids: Doom games, Prey, System Shock, that sort of thing. (yes, a mix of modern and classic)
Classic games. Nothing beats games that I already know I enjoy.
Co-op shooters with my kids. (Borderlands, etc.)
Couch multiplayer games with friends and whiskey, or classics on my MiSTer.

I play most indies on my Switch, as I can do it when not sitting in front of my PC. Then I play gamepad friend PC games in the living room on the large TV, then occasionally play more demanding PC games at my desk. It helps to mix up the setting and play area a bit.

However, I have other more demanding hobbies these days, so I tend to squeeze the games in where they fit. That also helps.
 

Flybye

Limp Gawd
Joined
Jun 29, 2006
Messages
325
Ah I might as well join this intervention group.

Hi. I'm 48, and I game. lol

So my video gaming life started with an Atari 2600 off to an IBM XT, some clones, more clones, a little short whiles with a PS1, PS2, and PS4 with PC gaming, and now just PC gaming. I have no kids, neither does my wife, and I doubt we are going to have kids by this point. Yeah I have lots of hobbies from cars, working on the house, building PCs for others, reading misc stuff. But you know what I barely do? Watch TV. I maybe watch 1-2 hours of TV a week with 1 or 2 home movies. A day for me is I finish work at 6 or 7 (been working from home for over 15 years), maybe cook, read the internets (classic time sink), do a few chores here and there, or maybe go out to eat, read a book, take a walk, dunk myself in the pool for a bit, watch a movie in the theater or at home, etc. By 9 or 10 when the wife is about to pass out is when I crank on the pc and play for 3-5 hours. She actually likes seeing me play my games since she knows its my world out of this world. She watches her ID channel death shows and the news like 30+ hours a week (she also works from home).

So I really don't get tired of gaming since it is my "out" of the world. I love the digital worlds people slap together. I just finished playing Outer Worlds, and I could just stand at a town and stare at the architecture. I love standing in the middle of some games and just absorbing the beauty and skill put into the game world. Now I'm playing Death Stranding a 2nd time. My next game will probably be RDR2 or Elder Ring. I also have the Witcher sitting there. I have a good amount of games collecting dust in Steam. Sometimes I enjoy going back to a classic like any of the Bioshocks and replaying them. What is funny is I went from a crazy game like Unreal Tournament 2k4 that I was even in a clan playing 2-3 times a week to now totally chill games. But I put a lot of hours into these games since I love the exploration. 270+ into Death Stranding, 210 hours in Cyberpunk with 1 play through, 120 hours in Dark Souls III, 215 Dying Light, etc. I hate rushing through games. Yeah, call all these chill games because nothing compares to the complete madness Unreal Tournament was with the constant movement that even made me sweat in my seat.

So is it worth it? It just all depends how much you want to leave this world. Lots of art and imagination go into these things.



...What's worse is that time appears to be accelerating the older I get...
I actually have a theory about that. We are always looking at the time and expecting a day to come for something. We worried about nothing when younger since we had zero need to wait for something to happen. Life was just as is.
 

Nenu

[H]ardened
Joined
Apr 28, 2007
Messages
20,098
What's worse is that time appears to be accelerating the older I get.
My partial twist on this is...
When young you are always doing something, thinking about something (many things constantly), a lot happens in a short time frame.
The older you get, the less you do both.
Because less happened in your mind in the same time frame, you perceive time as passing faster.
ie the passing of time is partially gauged on how much is happening.
fwiw :)

Check it out, when you have a lot going on, days seem to last longer.
 

atarione

2[H]4U
Joined
Mar 17, 2011
Messages
2,084
I am in my early 50s self employed, married but no kids (no offense ..but YAY... everytime I am around kids ... I just want them to go away after about 20minutes).

I gamed a lot in the 80s (atari 2600 / colecovision (worst controllers of all time?) commodore 64.. and some atari 400/800 (at friends houses) and at Video Arcades (I spent a lot of money in these places..and my mom came and dragged me out of one when I was like 12 and it was 8:30PM..HA) .... I didn't game much at all in the early 90s (went out to a lot of shows and partied a lot during college / early and mid 20s). In late 20s got a new pc and started playing some again.... I now almost only play CS:GO will join for a map or two (casual) and jump off as I have stuff to do... No interest /time for time suck grinding games.

My main problem(s) now are my eyes can't take the strain of gaming more than about 30~minutes .. get all red and tearing. I have nerve damage in my right hand and a tremor in both... all of which leads to me have a terrible KDR in CS:GO for someone that has played CS since 1.6 .. oh well..

It seems to me it depends on what else you need to do and your family situation... I mean everyone needs to relax I like to relax with 1/2hr of CS:GO sometimes..not able to be bothered feeling guilty or whatever.. as long as your getting stuff done you need to do.. meh.

However.... what I do need to do..is Mountain Bike more... I have been lazy lately
 

GoldenTiger

Fully [H]
Joined
Dec 2, 2004
Messages
24,415
As a mid-aged gamer, the only thing that I've noticed is I no longer like new mmorpg titles. That's mostly due to them being dumbed down and the cash shops though...
 

gamerk2

[H]ard|Gawd
Joined
Jul 9, 2012
Messages
1,986
36, former semi-competitive FPS gamer. The main thing I notice is my reaction speeds have gone to holy hell. Still occasionally capable of going off for 40 when I get "in the zone", but those days are getting rarer and rarer.

Aside from that, I'm growing more intolerant of games that do things just to pad time. Sorry, but by time is at a premium now; you waste my time, I don't bother with you anymore.
 

MacLeod

Supreme [H]ardness
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Messages
8,068
I'm a 50 year old gamer (well will be in 3 weeks) and don't ever plan on stopping.

Went from an Atari 2600 to a Commodore 64 to a Sega Genesis, PS1, Xbox and now (and forever more) PC. It's my favorite type of therapy. The rest of the world disappears and you can forget about all the crap in your life.

I'll be 85 years old in my wheelchair still playing if I have my way.
 

schmedy

n00b
Joined
Jan 8, 2010
Messages
4
I am 50 and started with the pong console, Apple IIe, commodore, many flavors of Atari, NES and SNES, but the majority has been PC gaming since the late 80's/early 90's. My kids are 17 and 19 so they do their own thing, when they were younger my gaming was less. Most of my gaming on PC has been FPS, except for a distraction now and then on one of the Diablo's or WoW, but I didn't play them long. I love Battlefield from the beginning till BF4, then after that I didn't like the way the game went. I loved DoD and CS, but it has been a long time. I try CoD now and then but not my thing, when PubG came out I did that for about a year, since it was something different and new. For the last 3 years I have played Escape from Tarkov exclusively, it is hands down the best, so many realistic aspects of the game as well as technical detail, it draws me in. I usually only play Fri-Sun, my days off and am "casual" but still competitive. I doubt anything will stop me from gaming, as long as there is a game that holds my interest.
 
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