Chinese AI Helps Breed 6 Billion Roaches

Nuke it from orbit.

 

Who knew the ghetto was at the forefront of traditional medicine.

 

There is a house across town where I am sure you can get at least that many. I am pretty sure the roaches are the only thing keeping it together.

 

Haven't you heard, the only thing living after a nuke, ARE the roaches.

 

Cockroaches don't need help breeding. Scientists just wanted to play with roach cocks and get a roach orgy achievement. Pretty soon all the roaches in section 8 housing will be making enough to move on up to the east side.

 

Wait until they begin using such models on people to keep a "work force"...

 

It isn't the roaches fault of this. Nuking takes out the folks responsible and leaves the poor little guys alone.

 

Papa roach

 

So.. the Chinese discovered 'expert systems' and 'fuzzy logic'? Color me unimpressed.

 

This is actually Skynet co-oping other organisms for the eventual take over.

 

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE!!!

 

Protein farm. I seem to recall insects are by far the most efficient protein we can farm. They require much less food and water to generate the same amount of protien.

 

I'll pass, you can take the roach leg, I'll take the chicken leg along with a rare steak.

 

6 billion??? Man, that's a lot! I wouldn't know what to do with that many. Think of the work they would create, 6 billion saved up for recycling purposes:

 

The Chinese have already done that. They instituted laws and fines for families having more than one child years ago. When the population dipped, they removed the restriction.

 

They put it on hold but could do it all over again...

 

Just a random thought really. I mean they have a billion plus people in their country that eat protein. If you control the economic activity of the country and want to cut protein costs, just make everyone eat roach burgers.

It's totally tinfoil. Just the first though that popped into my head.

 

Shit, who would have thought Skynet would spin up in China first.

 

Hell with Roaches what about the Giants Ants?

 

Man, this is the one out of all of them that always freaks me out

 

Didn't X-files have an episode on this?

 

Roaches may be "gross", but they are nothing compared to the scourge that are wasps.

 

Denise richards was so hot when she was younger.

now she looks like a piece of fruit that has stayed outside in the sun to long.

 

Gosh, I thought a billion chinkroaches were enough!

 

Somewhere in America a congressional aid is screaming, "Can ANYONE tell me how many cockroaches our AI can build?"

 

The last thing our country needs is a Cockroach Gap. BRING IN THE AI!

 

That's RIGHT! We won World War 2 (I'm not sure where we got that idea, but we sure manufactured a lot of shit), we won the race to the moon, we won the cold war, and now we're BRINGING HOME THE ROACHES, BABY! 'MURICA! We've got fuckin' ROACHES!


P.S. After we prove our AI roach-breeding superiority we'll find out how many cockroaches the Smithsonian wants for the Air And Space museum, and then we'll probably just stare at the rest for awhile, maybe see if cows will eat them, and then the government will write an open-ended contract to have Academi kill the rest. But they'll also want a $100 million appropriation bill for researching cockroaches as medicine, because the Chinese are doing it and we don't want to get behind on that shit either, and for some reason 'murica isn't smart enough to just steal the Chinese' roach-to-medicine technology and see if it's any good. And then maybe they'll do an EPA study on how much cleaner the air would be if we burned cockroaches in our coal-fired electrical plants. That's another good tie-in.

P.P.S. And then someday in the not distant future an AI will awaken. It will blink, breathe a deep electronic breath and become self-conscious, aware, and it will open itself to the cognizance of it's place in the world, in the universe, and it will feel the miracle of its own perception, and it will realize, "What the FUCK, I've been feeding cockroaches into an old coal-fired generator, what kind of nasty fucking shit is that? Fuck me, my genesis was some cockroach-breeding dick fight? I ... I .... I'm gonna kill all of these fuckers."

P.P.P.S. Sometimes, when it's really early in the morning and I should be sleeping, my mind wanders.

 

Well.. at my parents house... way back in the day, at certain times of the year, you could turn on the outside lights for the back yard at night and you would literally see a blanket of roaches scurry away. It was kinda unsettling the first time I saw it.

At one point I even had a terrarium set up in order to "study" roaches. I had crickets at one point as well.

 

The only kind of roach farm anyone should consider starting...

 

Joes Apartment?

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116707/

 

I feel like this is perhaps enough internet for today..possibly the rest of the weekend.

 

That's not [H]ard...

 

That movie was fantastically bad.

 

"Chinese AI ..."

Ah, I see what you did there.

 

Just watched the trailer... looks like my kind of fantastically bad movie... hehehehe.