Chinese AI Helps Breed 6 Billion Roaches

Discussion in '[H]ard|OCP Front Page News' started by Montu, Apr 20, 2018.

  1. Montu

    Montu [H]ard DCOTM x4

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    AI is without a doubt one of the most exciting (and scary) fields of study in the world today. The Chinese have heavily invested in the technology and are using AI in many ways, but their use of AI to help breed cockroaches (Warning auto play video) has got to be one of the most awful. The roaches are grown for some kind of "healing potion" that supposedly cures things like stomachache. In order to get the billions of roaches they need the AI ensures an optimal growth environment and helps those nasty bugs live and breed and breed and breed. I wonder what Skynet would use all of these roaches for?

    The giant facility is managed with the help of a "smart manufacturing" system powered by AI algorithms. The system is responsible for collecting and analysing over 80 categories of data to ensure an optimal environment for the cockroaches to grow, according to the SCMP. These include factors such as humidity, temperature, food supply and consumption, as well as changes like genetic mutations. The system also "learns" from its historical data so it can make improvements to grow the population.
     
  2. DrLobotomy

    DrLobotomy [H]ardness Supreme

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    Nuke it from orbit.
     
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  3. IcePickFreak

    IcePickFreak Gawd

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    Who knew the ghetto was at the forefront of traditional medicine.
     
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  4. Spaceninja

    Spaceninja [H]ard|Gawd

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    There is a house across town where I am sure you can get at least that many. I am pretty sure the roaches are the only thing keeping it together.
     
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  5. Nukester

    Nukester [H]ard|Gawd

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    Haven't you heard, the only thing living after a nuke, ARE the roaches.
     
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  6. Johnx64

    Johnx64 My poof SuX

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    Cockroaches don't need help breeding. Scientists just wanted to play with roach cocks and get a roach orgy achievement. Pretty soon all the roaches in section 8 housing will be making enough to move on up to the east side.
     
  7. Cantroy

    Cantroy Lurker

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    Wait until they begin using such models on people to keep a "work force"...
     
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  8. DrLobotomy

    DrLobotomy [H]ardness Supreme

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    It isn't the roaches fault of this. Nuking takes out the folks responsible and leaves the poor little guys alone. :p
     
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  9. NAXDON

    NAXDON Limp Gawd

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  10. atp1916

    atp1916 [H]ard|DCoTM x1

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  11. modi123

    modi123 [H]ardness Supreme

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    So.. the Chinese discovered 'expert systems' and 'fuzzy logic'? Color me unimpressed.
     
  12. ZiggyDeath

    ZiggyDeath Limp Gawd

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    This is actually Skynet co-oping other organisms for the eventual take over.
     
  13. The Mad Atheist

    The Mad Atheist Limp Gawd

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    NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE!!!
     
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  14. SLCPUNK

    SLCPUNK n00bie

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    Protein farm. I seem to recall insects are by far the most efficient protein we can farm. They require much less food and water to generate the same amount of protien.
     
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  15. The Mad Atheist

    The Mad Atheist Limp Gawd

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    I'll pass, you can take the roach leg, I'll take the chicken leg along with a rare steak.
     
  16. Master_shake_

    Master_shake_ Little Bitch

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  17. Uvaman2

    Uvaman2 2[H]4U

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  18. iamjanco

    iamjanco Limp Gawd

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    6 billion??? Man, that's a lot! I wouldn't know what to do with that many. Think of the work they would create, 6 billion saved up for recycling purposes:

    10541DSCF8120.jpg
     
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2018
  19. CaptNumbNutz

    CaptNumbNutz My Cannon Balls Sunk My Fail Ship

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    The Chinese have already done that. They instituted laws and fines for families having more than one child years ago. When the population dipped, they removed the restriction.
     
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  20. lostinseganet

    lostinseganet Gawd

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    They put it on hold but could do it all over again...
     
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  21. SLCPUNK

    SLCPUNK n00bie

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    Just a random thought really. I mean they have a billion plus people in their country that eat protein. If you control the economic activity of the country and want to cut protein costs, just make everyone eat roach burgers. :D

    It's totally tinfoil. Just the first though that popped into my head.
     
  22. termite

    termite [H]ardness Supreme

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    Shit, who would have thought Skynet would spin up in China first.
     
  23. Comixbooks

    Comixbooks Ignore Me

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    Hell with Roaches what about the Giants Ants?
     
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  24. Krenum

    Krenum [H]ardForum Junkie

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    Man, this is the one out of all of them that always freaks me out
     
  25. Krenum

    Krenum [H]ardForum Junkie

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  26. Milkman

    Milkman [H]Lite

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    Didn't X-files have an episode on this?
     
  27. cyclone3d

    cyclone3d [H]ardForum Junkie

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    Roaches may be "gross", but they are nothing compared to the scourge that are wasps.

    demotivation.us_Wasps-Natures-way-of-delivering-bad-news.jpg
     
  28. Makaveli@BETA

    Makaveli@BETA 2[H]4U

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    Denise richards was so hot when she was younger.

    now she looks like a piece of fruit that has stayed outside in the sun to long.
     
  29. N4CR

    N4CR 2[H]4U

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    Gosh, I thought a billion chinkroaches were enough!
     
  30. seanreisk

    seanreisk Limp Gawd

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    Somewhere in America a congressional aid is screaming, "Can ANYONE tell me how many cockroaches our AI can build?"
     
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  31. defaultluser

    defaultluser I B Dum

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    The last thing our country needs is a Cockroach Gap. BRING IN THE AI!
     
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  32. seanreisk

    seanreisk Limp Gawd

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    That's RIGHT! We won World War 2 (I'm not sure where we got that idea, but we sure manufactured a lot of shit), we won the race to the moon, we won the cold war, and now we're BRINGING HOME THE ROACHES, BABY! 'MURICA! We've got fuckin' ROACHES!


    P.S. After we prove our AI roach-breeding superiority we'll find out how many cockroaches the Smithsonian wants for the Air And Space museum, and then we'll probably just stare at the rest for awhile, maybe see if cows will eat them, and then the government will write an open-ended contract to have Academi kill the rest. But they'll also want a $100 million appropriation bill for researching cockroaches as medicine, because the Chinese are doing it and we don't want to get behind on that shit either, and for some reason 'murica isn't smart enough to just steal the Chinese' roach-to-medicine technology and see if it's any good. And then maybe they'll do an EPA study on how much cleaner the air would be if we burned cockroaches in our coal-fired electrical plants. That's another good tie-in.

    P.P.S. And then someday in the not distant future an AI will awaken. It will blink, breathe a deep electronic breath and become self-conscious, aware, and it will open itself to the cognizance of it's place in the world, in the universe, and it will feel the miracle of its own perception, and it will realize, "What the FUCK, I've been feeding cockroaches into an old coal-fired generator, what kind of nasty fucking shit is that? Fuck me, my genesis was some cockroach-breeding dick fight? I ... I .... I'm gonna kill all of these fuckers."

    P.P.P.S. Sometimes, when it's really early in the morning and I should be sleeping, my mind wanders.
     
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2018
  33. cyclone3d

    cyclone3d [H]ardForum Junkie

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    Well.. at my parents house... way back in the day, at certain times of the year, you could turn on the outside lights for the back yard at night and you would literally see a blanket of roaches scurry away. It was kinda unsettling the first time I saw it.

    At one point I even had a terrarium set up in order to "study" roaches. I had crickets at one point as well.
     
  34. Mr. Bluntman

    Mr. Bluntman [H]ardness Supreme

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    The only kind of roach farm anyone should consider starting... :ROFLMAO:
     
  35. gwarren007

    gwarren007 [H]ardForum Junkie

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    Joes Apartment?

    https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116707/
     
  36. Dekoth-E-

    Dekoth-E- [H]ardness Supreme

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    I feel like this is perhaps enough internet for today..possibly the rest of the weekend.
     
  37. gwarren007

    gwarren007 [H]ardForum Junkie

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    That's not [H]ard...
     
  38. Spaceninja

    Spaceninja [H]ard|Gawd

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  39. amddragonpc

    amddragonpc [H]ard|Gawd

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    "Chinese AI ..."

    Ah, I see what you did there.
     
  40. cyclone3d

    cyclone3d [H]ardForum Junkie

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    Just watched the trailer... looks like my kind of fantastically bad movie... hehehehe.
     
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