Amazing Must Have MAGICAL Product of the Day

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Want to be the envy of all your friends and co-workers? Do you want people to think you are a visionary the minute the step into your home or office? Are you upset that that dick from accounting has a brand new top of the line Mac while you are still rocking that 2014 model? Well then, this is the product for you!

The $24, the hand-poured, 100% soy wax candle has notes of mint, peach, basil, lavender, mandarin, and sage.
 
You're lighting it wrong.

Lighting this takes courage.

Where can I download the app?

wick removed in version 7....because it takes courage

And you can only use a patented Apple candle warmer.

The Mandarin adds a bit of bitterness to the aroma, according to Stan Lee at least.

You beautiful, beautiful bastards. I love each and every one of you.
 
I'm looking forward to the larger model, the Big Mac candle, made with not-quite-meat soy replacement flavor, no egg "mayo" flavor, gluten free bun substitute flavor, and freerange toppings flavor.
 
The Mandarin adds a bit of bitterness to the aroma, according to Stan Lee at least.
Don't worry, they sell something to take care of the Mandarin too.
ironman-jobs1.jpg
 
We had a chemical supply catalog here once, it had strange stuff in the back - even drugs to train drug dogs (had to prove law enforcement credentials), but one of the chemicals in that area was "essence of cadaver" for training cadaver dogs. I wanted to make some candles with a core of that stuff. Start off with "Country Cinnamon Apple Cobbler" or some other foofie smelling shit, and then get to the "Cadaver Ripening in the Trunk of Abandoned Impala" after an hour or so. Give the girls that stink up the office with those candles something to whiff.
 
This thing needs reviews like the three wolf moon shirt....
 
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