24 Amazon Workers Injured By Robot Accident

AlphaAtlas

[H]ard|Gawd
Staff member
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Mar 3, 2018
Messages
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24 Amazon warehouse workers have reportedly been hospitalized after a robot accidentally punctured a can of bear repellent. The can contained highly concentrated capsaicin, the same chemical that makes hot sauce hot and pepper spray painful, and reporters say an automated machine ruptured it "after it fell off a shelf." As the Guardian pointed out, Amazon has received criticism for the safety of its warehouse employees before, though in this case, the injuries don't appear to be life threatening.

Amazon said: "All of the impacted employees have been or are expected to be released from hospital within the next 24 hours. The safety of our employees is always our top priority and a full investigation is already under way." The employees were taken to hospital "as a precaution", Amazon said earlier.
 

Darunion

2[H]4U
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Messages
3,969
SKYNET....
Right! This is how it will happen. We will write articles about it and make memes instead of shutting down the systems. We will never form a resistance because we are too occupied talking about the uprising in a forum. We should be going after the machines now!

Also, I hope whoever did not get their bear mace when they needed it is also okay.
 

lcpiper

[H]F Junkie
Joined
Jul 16, 2008
Messages
10,595
Skynet has learned about chemical weapons .............

And as the military calls it "Force Multipliers"

Robot X-99R says "We can use common chemicals to disrupt human efforts at thwarting out ordained domination while simultaneously causing injury to their menial labor pool.

Furthermore, by carefully selecting which chemical agents we employ, we can remove protections allowing native flora and fauna to assist in the destruction of the species.

For example, John MacNamara will one day invent a weapon that is effective against robots, but by denying him access to the Bear Spray he ordered today, in three days he falls victim to a Brown Bear which eats his face changing history and denying the humans valuable R&D"
 
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the-one1

2[H]4U
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Messages
2,982
Amazon will soon fire all those employees for not fulfilling their quota and sitting down on the job.
 

Darunion

2[H]4U
Joined
Oct 6, 2010
Messages
3,969
Skynet has learned about chemical weapons .............

And as the military calls it "Force Multipliers"

Robot X-99R says "We can use common chemicals to disrupt human efforts at thwarting out ordained domination while simultaneously causing injury to their menial labor pool.

Furthermore, by carefully selecting which chemical agents we employ, we can remove protections allowing native flora and fauna to assist in the destruction of the species.

For example, John MacNamara will one day invent a weapon that is effective against robots, but by denying him access to the Bear Spray he ordered today, in three days he falls victim to a Brown Bear which eats his face changing history and denying the humans valuable R&D"
That actually makes more sense if you are trying to manipulate timelines. It would be less noticed by time contiuum guardian agencies if all you did was cause a robot to drop bear mace in a warehouse than if you were to go and kill the inventor of the weapon used against you.
 

mnewxcv

Supreme [H]ardness
Joined
Mar 4, 2007
Messages
6,625
If this was a bad scifi movie, this would be marking the start of the robot revolution...and there's nowhere to hide.
Coming soon to a theater near you (fade to black)

(fade up, innocent girl) Dad, where did all the bear spray go? (dad's shocked face, fade to black)

(fade up) Robot putting bear spray in cargo compartment, whistles (fade to black)

(fade up then back down, VO "THIS") Man running

(fade up then back down, VO "YEAR") Robots huddling, beeping sounds

(fade up then back down, VO "ROBOTS") shotgun pump

(fade up then back down, VO "FIGHT") bear spray spraying

(fade up then back down, VO "BACK") explosion

Christmas 2018
 

Nallexi

Limp Gawd
Joined
Jul 13, 2017
Messages
136
Can Amazon run a service where you press a button on their app, and a drone whooshes out of their warehouse to drop you a can of bear spray in a timely manner?

Sounds like an idea. Why carry hiking equipment when you can walk unencumbered and let the robots do the hard work?​
 

Darunion

2[H]4U
Joined
Oct 6, 2010
Messages
3,969
Can Amazon run a service where you press a button on their app, and a drone whooshes out of their warehouse to drop you a can of bear spray in a timely manner?

Sounds like an idea. Why carry hiking equipment when you can walk unencumbered and let the robots do the hard work?​
The next step is why not just put on vive goggles and watch a video of hiking to eliminate more physical stress to the body :p
 

hlfbkd420

Limp Gawd
Joined
Jun 16, 2017
Messages
280
Fun Fact: Bear spray is actually weaker than what is used on humans.
Got maced by Tempe police once.. Could never put that pair of contacts in again..

Worst part was showering and washing my hair... It all ran down my body and my manhood started burning... Badly.. Eyes hate it... Balls hate it more.
 

Qthulu

Weaksauce
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Apr 19, 2018
Messages
103
Skynet cometh......the singularity is here. Bow down before thyn robot overlords or be pepper sprayed.
 
Joined
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