12 fake large cockroaches $0.91 shipped

fattypants

2[H]4U
Joined
Mar 3, 2010
Messages
3,284
Got 'em this morning and was tempted to put one next to my wife's sub sandwich, but then I remembered that she'd lose her appetite even after she learned it was a fake.

This is gonna be so fun.
 

Liqq

Limp Gawd
Joined
Nov 14, 2010
Messages
464
Reading the reviews on the Liquid A$$ had me in tears....

I bought a bottle last year, and it is by far the worst smell ever. I don't know how they did it, but they have perfected the smell of, well you know...I HIGHLY recommend it.
 

CruisD64

2[H]4U
Joined
Mar 6, 2007
Messages
2,301
I left one in the shower this morning, wife turned the water on and it made the roach look like it was moving around. Needless to say I'm in trouble now, but it was worth it lol

Eeep! I think I'd be afraid of doing that in case the victim were to slip and fall! I bet that's why you're in trouble, eh? Wife was like "What if I had slipped and fallen?" :)
 

Lateralus

More [H]uman than Human
Joined
Aug 7, 2004
Messages
17,080
Reading the reviews on the Liquid A$$ had me in tears....

LMFAO

Just from the first page of reviews:

"Just to point something out here... this stuff does not smell like a fart. If you think it does, check your drawers. It smells like ass. A big, hairy, poorly wiped, rarely washed, possibly diseased, decaying ass. It is so real, you'll swear you can smell the hairs in it. I'm actually suspicious that it might not be artificial ingredients, but actual residue from someone's crack. It is THAT bad!"

"The only way I can explain the smell is imagine putting a pile of cat crap in a bathtub full of rotten eggs, and urine that has been farted, and vomited in, then left to sit in the sun for a couple weeks."

"Liquid Genius is more like it. This is like a 1000 ft. elephant just ate a mountain of cat poop and now has gas. Every time you push the sprayer you summon the Ass Genie.

...

The smell:
- cat poop. Lots and lots of cat poop. Barf and cat poop. Death, barf, and cat poop. Hot dead possum, cat poop, barf, and fat sweaty clown ass. Just think of the most rank think you've ever smelled... now multiply it by a dozen. I have NEVER smelled a fart anything close to this nasty. I would take a bare-ass fart to the face a hundred time rather than a passing drift of Liquid Ass."

And perhaps the best endorsement of all...

"I truly believe that if everyone on earth fought their battles with Liquid Ass instead of guns, there would be peace on earth."

I truly believe that I must have some of this. I must say...being a guy rocks because stuff like this makes you as giddy as a school boy even when you're decades old.
 

FishHead

Gawd
Joined
Jan 19, 2005
Messages
626
Just sent a package of them to my dad.

I hope he doesn't have a heart attack when he opens it.
 

Gavinni

Limp Gawd
Joined
Sep 29, 2004
Messages
403
Oh man, I put one on my wife's shoulder and did the whole pointing while yelling and running away from her routine. She screamed full lungs and so I went in to brush it off her, and then upon her seeing it for the first time on the floor she screamed again hahahaha. Worth every penny.
 

k1pp3r

[H]F Junkie
Joined
Jun 16, 2004
Messages
8,226
So I gave my Mother inlaw two of these so she could scare her boyfriend, she ended up scaring herself lol I didn't even have to raise a finger!

I have gotten way more than $2 worth of enjoyment out of these lol
 

Westernesse

Limp Gawd
Joined
Sep 5, 2010
Messages
209
Just sent a package of them to my dad.

This was the first idea that came to me, mail them to other people. I mean who expects cockroaches in the mail? I guess the tough part is you might not be there to see the reaction.
 

stealthy123

2[H]4U
Joined
Feb 4, 2005
Messages
3,149
first attempt at scaring someone was a failure, hid a bunch at my folks' house over the weekend when i was house sitting, went over there today and my mom starts bitching about all the dead cockroaches in their house and wonders what the hell they are doing.

she had literally scooped up about 10 of them in tissues and threw them away, i guess she thought it was some ritualistic cockroach mass suicide or something.
 

Matthew Kane

Supreme [H]ardness
Joined
Dec 1, 2007
Messages
4,233
Would be cool if they did specials on the Liquid Ass, reading all the glowing reviews had me in tears.
 

Cerulean

[H]F Junkie
Joined
Jul 27, 2006
Messages
9,476
Would be cool if they did specials on the Liquid Ass, reading all the glowing reviews had me in tears.
My young brother cleared out one of his classrooms with just a couple sprays. They did it to the school's restroom too -- result was full blown bleach cleaning of the restrooms (poor custodians!).

At one of my other workplaces, we had this computer from some pork factory that was shutdown and this machine hadn't been removed for months. It wasn't a strong odor at all, even when you opened up the machine, so it wasn't like the odor that became part of the physical material of the machine would rape your office. However, one of my co-workers had this machine at his desk and he had to go use the restroom. I secretly sprayed several times inside this machine. His cubicle stunk up.

For a good 45 minutes co-workers were surrounding his office having some fun with my co-worker teasing him like what kind of food he's been eating. I would slowly let my other co-workers in on the secret, and then they would amplify the fun (sometimes borrowing the Liquid Ass bottle I had). It was hilarious; comedy gold for us! :D Victim co-worker never knew until we juiced out so much time of fun
 

Lateralus

More [H]uman than Human
Joined
Aug 7, 2004
Messages
17,080
Would be cool if they did specials on the Liquid Ass, reading all the glowing reviews had me in tears.

FWIW, it's a much better deal if you buy two bottles. :D

I'm seriously thinking about the ways in which I could put this stuff to good use. I've always loved stinky pranks. Used to buy those little glass vials of yellow liquid called "stink bombs" when I was young, but the fact that you have to break the glass makes them indiscreet (and potentially unsafe). Same with those "stink bags" where you burst a capsule of liquid that mixes with powder. The bag blows up and pops, so it's hard to pull off in public places without people noticing. This stuff looks perfect.
 

NoxTek

The Geek Redneck
Joined
May 27, 2002
Messages
9,300
I really gotta hide a camera somewhere...

I just snuck up to my roomate while she was doing laundry and simply held out a handfull of them.... she made some kind of noise that sounded like 'AAAAYJAH!!!' and jumped about 2 feet! Oh lordy I was laughing so hard I snorted! :D :D
 

Banyan

[H]ard|Gawd
Joined
Aug 16, 2003
Messages
1,341
i wanted to get some liquid ass to use in bars and businesses that provided horrible service but due to the fact they don't provide ingredients i find it scary - and if i don't want to inhale the shit (and people say it lasts for a while) i won't make others do it. shame. of course they are allowed to hide behind trade secrets - just another highlight that consumers don't have a real right to know what they're buying/eating/inhaling/etc.
 

Jathanis

[H]ard|DCer of the Month - Feb. 2013
Joined
Apr 22, 2008
Messages
985
This thread is full of win. :D

This. Not only did I lol last week reading all the comments pre-delivery, I got to go back and re-read it all again... Definitely Thread of the Year material, and not even in GenMay! That is one hell of an accomplishment.
 

FishHead

Gawd
Joined
Jan 19, 2005
Messages
626
This. Not only did I lol last week reading all the comments pre-delivery, I got to go back and re-read it all again... Definitely Thread of the Year material, and not even in GenMay! That is one hell of an accomplishment.

Whoa, GenMay still exists?

I thought it was killed off by sites like reddit and 4chan years ago.
 

HAF72

1337 :)
Joined
Nov 2, 2006
Messages
7,459
Whoa, GenMay still exists?

I thought it was killed off by sites like reddit and 4chan years ago.

Yea, genmay is still at it and still awesome.. you should join!

I have an oct 4th delivery date, bought it when the thread was made.. any day now and I will be receiving a text from my sister..... :D
 

revenant

[H]F Junkie
Joined
Apr 10, 2005
Messages
15,200
Reading the reviews on the Liquid A$$ had me in tears....

wow me also..
I particularly liked this one..

Growing up in South America, sometimes I had one of those emergency "nature calls" while in the road. Imagine that gas station, with nothing but the slimiest, dirtiest, most disgusting bathrooms, where the last 20 people to use it that day were overweight, hairy chested, mustached, wife-beater wearing men, filled with 3 pounds of pork and corn waiting to be slid out of their crap shoots. Now imagine all of those 20 guys didn't flush. That my friend, is Liquid Ass.
 

drklu

2[H]4U
Joined
Jul 15, 2013
Messages
2,752
wow me also..
I particularly liked this one..

This one got me crying LOL :D

It was so bad that the cat came into the kitchen and was scraping the bare tile floor with his paw as if he was trying to cover up a huge invisible turd! I've owned other fart sprays that didn't quite smell "right". But Liquid Ass really smells like the real deal.
 

NoxTek

The Geek Redneck
Joined
May 27, 2002
Messages
9,300
I think I'm going to have to get me some of this Liquid Ass.... it's probably going to get me in deep shit (no pun intended) but hell, it will be so worth it. :D
 

drklu

2[H]4U
Joined
Jul 15, 2013
Messages
2,752
I think I'm going to have to get me some of this Liquid Ass.... it's probably going to get me in deep shit (no pun intended) but hell, it will be so worth it. :D

I work with my brother, I was thinking of putting some in his pc so when he turns it on poop smell comes out. LOL
 

w4ffles

2[H]4U
Joined
Mar 13, 2008
Messages
2,342
I think I started something amazing here when I linked the Liquid Ass. There needs to be a GenMay thread for stories.

Some reviewers mention spraying on a napkin and placing it in a ziploc bag for deployment under doors.
 

NoxTek

The Geek Redneck
Joined
May 27, 2002
Messages
9,300
So I know this thread is old.... but I just had to share a story...

Yesterday we went to the last day of 'Fright Fest' at Six Flags Over Texas and before I left home I LOADED my pockets with these things. Hilarity ensued shortly after entering the park as I would randomly fling them at unsuspecting people... a couple of freak outs, nearly got my ass kicked by a macho boyfriend, but the best of all was when we went to see one of the indoor Halloween shows. There were several points where it was absolutely PITCH BLACK inside the theater, and during these moments I would fling a handfull of roaches high in the air in a random direction, and wait for the 'Oh my god! Oh shit shit shit!" and "It's on me, get it off!!!!". I seriously think I almost died from trying to stifle laughter.

BEST. DAY. EVAR.
 

AMD-T64

Limp Gawd
Joined
Jun 10, 2004
Messages
323
So I know this thread is old.... but I just had to share a story...

Yesterday we went to the last day of 'Fright Fest' at Six Flags Over Texas and before I left home I LOADED my pockets with these things. Hilarity ensued shortly after entering the park as I would randomly fling them at unsuspecting people... a couple of freak outs, nearly got my ass kicked by a macho boyfriend, but the best of all was when we went to see one of the indoor Halloween shows. There were several points where it was absolutely PITCH BLACK inside the theater, and during these moments I would fling a handfull of roaches high in the air in a random direction, and wait for the 'Oh my god! Oh shit shit shit!" and "It's on me, get it off!!!!". I seriously think I almost died from trying to stifle laughter.

BEST. DAY. EVAR.

You're going to hell... but awesome for sure!
 

Crosshairs

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Feb 3, 2004
Messages
25,091
I have 144 of the roaches....they will be getting slipped into the bags of trick or treaters on Halloween ..should make for an exciting moment when they get home and dump out their candy to see what they got
 

FrgMstr

Just Plain Mean
Staff member
Joined
May 18, 1997
Messages
53,022
I have 144 of the roaches....they will be getting slipped into the bags of trick or treaters on Halloween ..should make for an exciting moment when they get home a dump out the candy.....


That is pure evil....and I love it.
 

Direfox

[H]ard|Gawd
Joined
Oct 24, 2004
Messages
1,945
Got mine, I had forgotten I had ordered them. Busy day so I stuck them (still in the mailing bag) in my desk. Wife found them looking for something in my desk. I have no regrets.
 

Deadjasper

2[H]4U
Joined
Oct 28, 2001
Messages
2,265
I'm saving most of mine for Christmas. What wonderful little surprises they will make Christmas morning. :D
 

ServerKing

[H]ard|Gawd
Joined
Mar 11, 2005
Messages
1,730
I still want to see videos, but that theater post was awesome I would have loved to have been there when you threw them out just to hear the reactions.
 

NoxTek

The Geek Redneck
Joined
May 27, 2002
Messages
9,300
I'm saving most of mine for Christmas. What wonderful little surprises they will make Christmas morning. :D

Oh my GOD I didn't even think of that!

Oh man.... the big 'family' Christmas..... muhahahahaaaw!
 
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