Google Has A New Parent Company Called Alphabet

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At first I thought this announcement was a joke. Then I realized they are dead serious. :eek: Thanks to everyone that sent this one in.

Our company is operating well today, but we think we can make it cleaner and more accountable. So we are creating a new company, called Alphabet (http://abc.xyz). I am really excited to be running Alphabet as CEO with help from my capable partner, Sergey, as President. What is Alphabet? Alphabet is mostly a collection of companies. The largest of which, of course, is Google. This newer Google is a bit slimmed down, with the companies that are pretty far afield of our main Internet products contained in Alphabet instead. What do we mean by far afield? Good examples are our health efforts: Life Sciences (that works on the glucose-sensing contact lens), and Calico (focused on longevity). Fundamentally, we believe this allows us more management scale, as we can run things independently that aren’t very related.
 
Who else thinks this is being done to make it easier to spin-off various projects with cloistered private sales to favored employees / hedge funds and that then go IPO shortly thereafter for ridiculous billions?

Secondary benefit would be protecting the core search & advertise business from being subject to lawsuit or regulatory investigiation against some of these "far afield" business activities.
 
Remember corporations are people! Just like I, as a person, can create a new person out of thin air and say they are my parent. Then after that divide myself into multiple different people all who originated from the new parent.
 
Is this so they can do more evil. Because that do no evil crap was google's thing now we just got a corporate restructuring into a holding company, holding companies are all about being p.o.s.
 
It kinda makes sense to spread out their accountability. Google hasn't been just a search/advertisement company for a long time. They've got their own ISP, Android, auto-drive is on the horizon, even some weird stuff like life-extension (yeah wtf!?).

Evil? Maybe, but most of the general public hands over their personal data to google no questions asked. There might be some argument against how gmail and google search are presented as "free" while all of your data and history is subject to use by google virtually any way they see fit. There are a lot worse companies I can think of, and until google starts pumping crude oil into the gulf I think they are doing ok.
 
Its about creating a false perception of separate accountability and liability.

If you think its a separate company from Google you might be more comfortable sharing your health info. Will it be separate, doesn't matter, its what you think and once you give it up it will be good for a few years or so.

For liability, when your moron cousin gives google's ancestry project your family medical history "for science" and you lose your job because your company's HR department realizes you have a 50% chance of developing diabetes with that info and you sue and you're not the only one. They will keep those risky companies cash poor so they don't lose as much if the shit they are trying to pull backfires. Heck even telling a jury that its a separate company will make they trim back their award.
 
Teenyman45 said:
Who else thinks this is being done to make it easier to spin-off various projects with cloistered private sales to favored employees / hedge funds and that then go IPO shortly thereafter for ridiculous billions?

Secondary benefit would be protecting the core search & advertise business from being subject to lawsuit or regulatory investigiation against some of these "far afield" business activities.
Click to expand...

Excellent points especially the second one. In this era of excessive litigation, it behooves Larry and Sergei to protect their core business.
 
i am willing to bet spacex and tesla are going to be in the alphabet soup soon enough!
 
See ... now they can create the ultimate super corporation by merging with their competitors ... Apple would fill that "A" spot nicely, Facebook could cover "F", Microsoft "M", Twitter or Tesla for "T", Comcast would make a good "C" ... we could finally get another company like Walmart that is bigger than most nation states :D
 
Then there is going to be a company called Numbers, People, Planets, Animals and Pollution.
 
umbrella_corp_wallpaper_by_nickjason.jpg
 
Makes perfect sense, but you'd think that with all the bright people they have someone would be able to think of a better name...
 
But, Zarathustra, Corporatism is all about making things as generic and bland as possible.

Eventually, we'll live in the world of Rollerball (the original movie). Gosh, I just can't wait. The future's so bright, I have to wear shades.
 
G is for Google, N is for Nest.

We are going to own it all,
by the time we fill in the rest.

:)
 
And I was just joking around with diehard Google fans when I made this screen name thing-y. :eek: Who knew that Google would be this creepy? The worst part is that it isn't over yet by far.
 
Madoc said:
But, Zarathustra, Corporatism is all about making things as generic and bland as possible.

Eventually, we'll live in the world of Rollerball (the original movie). Gosh, I just can't wait. The future's so bright, I have to wear shades.
Click to expand...

Actually the folks in Rollerball seemed to live pretty well ... the 1% seemed to live exceptionally well but they seemed to have spread the wealth sufficiently so that there didn't appear to be poverty or any kind of strife that would threaten corporate stability ... that said, I would put my money on a Bladerunner type of dystopian future rather than a Rollerball one ... although the Umbrella corporation might not be that far off the mark either ... perhaps Alphabet will become a cross between Umbrella, Tyrell, Weyland-Yutani, Armacham, Soylent, HAL, and others
 
Of course they need a parent company. Lots of companies have them for tax-evading reasons. This way, Alphabet can have a new subsidiary which owns the land and the building Google has, so Google will have to pay rent, allowing them to claim a refund. And Google will no longer own their own technology, having to pay a fee for their own technology they invent to another subsidiary overseas, becoming a non-profit organization, or at the very least, an unprofitable business. I mean, Wall Street expects constant growth, and it gets harder every year, so it's only natural something like this would happen.
 
Personally I think this is one of the dumbest ideas Google has ever done. Seems like someone got drunk one night and made a game out of it listing Google features and services using letters from the alphabet. Something about this just makes me shake my head.
 
The upshot is, it will make indexing their assets more conducive to their search algorithms.

I have an image in my head of Larry and Sergey sitting on the floor in front of a file cabinet, trying to figure out a better way to keep track of all the companies they own.
 
Nytegard said:
Of course they need a parent company. Lots of companies have them for tax-evading reasons. This way, Alphabet can have a new subsidiary which owns the land and the building Google has, so Google will have to pay rent, allowing them to claim a refund. And Google will no longer own their own technology, having to pay a fee for their own technology they invent to another subsidiary overseas, becoming a non-profit organization, or at the very least, an unprofitable business. I mean, Wall Street expects constant growth, and it gets harder every year, so it's only natural something like this would happen.
Click to expand...

Hey, this is exactly how they operate here in Europe. Actually, they've been doing it for quite a while. Multinationals really love Ireland.
 
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