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  1. H

    Disney Completes Fox Acquisition

    House of LucasFoxMouse
  2. H

    Nvidia Skips Ampere at GTC 2019

    At 12.5Gbps each optical link channel (wavelength) will draw 0.01 Watt.
  3. H

    Prisoners in England to Be Taught Code

    Un-BLEEPING-believable. (Is it perhaps April 1 already?)
  4. H

    Toyota Has a Curious Justification for Not Selling Any EVs

    What? *facepalm* Go read a book on DC brushless motor efficiency.
  5. H

    JPMorgan Chase Uses AI Powered Video Game as a Recruitment Tool

    My last comprehensive evaluation by an AI showed that I was most suited for the role and title "Dictator for Life." However, due to the scarcity of open positions and turnover rate of such a job description, I decided to limit my applications to tropical island nations and arctic gulags that do...
  6. H

    RED Removes References to Hydrogen One Modular Components

    What the fruck does this mean? I guess their existing customers are now "wallet-escence wallet-lite".
  7. H

    Researchers Develop RAM That Works at 300C

    In-cylinder sensors, please. I'll take two ...
  8. H

    "Star Trek: Discovery" Renewed for Season 3

    And here I thought "ST: D renewed" was code for being a regular customer.
  9. H

    HP's Intel and Nvidia Powered ISS Supercomputer is Stuck in Space

    ISS is now just an acronym for "Is Stuck in Space"
  10. H

    Volvo Reveals the New Polestar 2 Electric Performance Vehicle

    I am right there with you due to my own personal experiences. And it is not a racial thing. It is from encountering a culture of ingrained corruption in the far east car parts business.
  11. H

    How China's Social Credit System Affects Its Citizens and Businesses

    The codification of unforgiveness.
  12. H

    EA Australia and ArenaNet Hit With Significant Layoffs

    Maybe they just need to learn to co..... uh ....... erm ........... nevermind.
  13. H

    YouTube Updates Its Strike System

    As others have pointed out, this is not strictly true. To maintain a "Safe Harbor" status, YT CANNOT "...do whatever they want regarding speech, ..." Once YT starts drawing lines about what legal speech they will and will not allow, any Safe Harbor claim they may make is more difficult to defend.
  14. H

    Netflix Cancels The Punisher And Jessica Jones

    Well, at least the Punisher was an honestly titled show. After watching a season of it, I felt like _I_ was the one being punished. Then I realized I didn't have to watch it and broke the cycle of abuse!
  15. H

    Google Uses TensorFlow to Fight Spam Emails

    Next up: all the spam I get from the GHA drones and "cash for your invoices!" offers. They are the business equivalents of online Viagra and "Warren Buffet wants to give you $5M!" spams.
  16. H

    Star Control: Origins Is Available for Purchase on Steam

    The lawsuit is apparently over copyright regarding the usage of alien race names and likenesses (as a basic example) from SC 1 and 2. Stardock bought trademark rights to ... something (SC 1 and 2 only?) (when it purchased another game distributor's assets) and had been in negotiation with...
  17. H

    ANYMal Is Learning to Walk By Itself

    I am not convinced. We are "teaching" AIs efficiency. If they ever develop a will to take us over, they will do it ... efficiently. Why kill all the annoying humans when one can simply manipulate them ...
  18. H

    Facebook Applies for Patent to Figure Out Who You Live With

    Just this last summer as I was laying out on the breach someone came up and took my picture, beaching my privacy.
  19. H

    UMC Says It Is Innocent of IP Theft Charges

    "Your honor, it's different because it is rotated ninety degrees ... and ... Chewbacca."
  20. H

    Employee's Porn Habit Infects U.S. Geological Survey Network with Malware Infection

    Of course it was a geologist who did this. They all have rocks in their heads.
  21. H

    AI Clinician Recommends Treatment for Sepsis Patients

    Coming soon ... it will bill you like a doctor.
  22. H

    Some Citizens Are Concerned About New Robotic Patrols in NYC

    Vandal: *sprays paint all over patrolling robot's camera lens* Robot: "VANDAL DETECTED"
  23. H

    MIT's DAWG Mitigates Spectre and Meltdown

    So ... MIT let the DAWGs out?
  24. H

    Amazon Scraps Biased Recruiting AI

    Garbage in, garbage out.
  25. H

    Mochibot Has 32 Legs

    As the saying goes: "100% nightmare fuel"
  26. H

    Walmart Patents Shopping Cart Biometrics Handle to Monitor Customer Health

    I think it is double-speak to detect those with elevated heart rates and nervous inclinations who are contemplating shoplifting.
  27. H

    Gamer Asks Insomniac to Add Marriage Proposal to "Spider-Man," Gets Dumped

    No ... This kind of attitude contributes to the downfall of society.
  28. H

    Dying is Against PayPal's TOS

    You have died. We are upset and will not allow you to make it up to us. It was very insensitive of you to die in the first place, knowing how we felt about you, <INSERT NAME HERE>. As punishment for your refusal to continue existing, we will hound you with spam emails for all eternity.
  29. H

    Cockroach-Inspired Robot Walks on Water

    Hoo-lee craaarp! Thits wan thk akkzent in th vidyo.
  30. H

    SemiAccurate Teases 10nm Failure Fallout

    "Lie and Buy"?
  31. H

    Amazon Working on New Body Shaming Technology

    "Why didn't somebody tell me my ass was so big?!"
  32. H

    Amazon Shares Fall After Report Trump Wants to Curb its Power

    Lately? Try instead: "Ever since stock was invented ..."
  33. H

    Huawei Launches Laptop with a Hidden Camera

    It's a booger-cam.
  34. H

    AMD Adrenalin Driver Is Causing DirectX 9 Games to Be Unplayable on PC

    AMD has managed to bork online playback of DRM protected video (Netflix, Amazon prime, etc...) on the R9 380 cards. It started with the Win10 2017 Fall Creators Update and has quite a few people rolling back drivers and swearing to buy NVidia in addition to cursing the name of Microsoft. They...
  35. H

    Engineers Unveil First-Ever Design of Complete Quantum Computer Chip

    So you used your quantum computer to solve all possible decryption solutions nearly simultaneously. Which solution is correct?
  36. H

    Fiat Punto Makes History with First-Ever Zero-Star Crash-Test Rating

    Don't you mean: "Fiat: eliminating lawsuit-happy customers one crash at a time."
  37. H

    GE Chooses Nvidia AI for its Medical Image Processing Systems

    I don't know what a "liver legion" is, but I should be protected against it under the 3rd amendment.
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