Question/Advice needed

I did a trade with someone where I shipped first. I was fine with that and wanted to make sure they were happy with the items shipped. I paid for 2-day shipping and they got the items on 2/20 and seemed happy. They were going to ship out the next day. First they didn't have my address, so I put it in the forum. Then I waited a few days and messaged when nothing showed up. They apologized and told me there was a family health issue but they would get it out that day. I told them I understood and was in no rush just to get it out when they could. A few more days have gone by and nothing. I got another message saying they were really sorry and I could leave them bad heat but they were still dealing with the health issue. Again I told them I understood, family was important and just ship when they could.

The last communication I got from them was on the 26th swearing they would ship that morning and apologizing again. I have since left two messages asking if the relative was doing better and if they were able to ship. Once on last wed and one more again this last saturday. The thing is I know he was in the forums on Thursday after my first message and again this morning (in fact he is online right now). I hate to think bad of a fellow [H] and I have NEVER been burned by one but...I am starting to think I have been. So the question is, if something comes up, how long do you wait before you start to think you got taken? I have messaged him one more time asking if he could please let me know what is going on that would be great...if not what do I do?

Never any fun when a deal with a fellow [H] member goes sour. If he's been on the forums, and just isn't communicating, there really isn't any excuse for it. I would give him another PM, and make it clear you've been understanding of this health issue but a deal is a deal, and he needs to either make good on the deal (and provide proof of shipping) or return your item (again, providing proof of shipping). Beyond that, you can't do much besides leave him negative heat (nuclear option, you likely won't get anything after this point).

As a side note... isn't it strange how these health issues never arise until payment is sent, or in this case, the trade item is received? I see this so often that I will always see it as a red flag, sadly.

I have to think he is not ripping me off. I mean if he were why go through the whole charade of having a health issue with a family member? Just drop out of site..unless he/she had other trades going on and didn't want me to blow his.her cover. I totally understand family issues. When my aunt died I had to go home for the funeral and missed out shipping an item I sold - I messaged the guy right before the funeral. He was totally understanding - I don't get not even replying to me. It takes two seconds and he has to see he has messages from me. I understand being distraught or upset about health issues - but just tell me. This silence just leaves me to believe the worst.

Seems like BS and common excuses to me. If they are ok with the bad heat, do it. Anyone with a good rep here isn't gonna say to leave bad heat, this person must not care. I get that family comes first but instead of delay after delay, they'd cover their ass and save their rep. If I were in that bind, I'd paypal you the cost of whatever I was supposed to ship or do something to keep the black mark off my record. I'd say who it was so if they are having true issues and they are a good standing member, the community will help them out. If they are a troll, they'll be outed.

I guess I will wait it out this week. I don't like the nuclear option. I am hesitant to think the worst only because the heat doesn't show a pattern of being a dick - so hopefully things are okay healthwise at home. My only red flag is the seeing they have been on the forums and not replying to me if only to say "sorry it's been tough." Not sure why someone would want to ruin their rep on an awesome place like Hardocp for a 300 dollar item.

Turns out it was something really bad. They got in contact with me and will be shipping.

groebuck said:

I have to think he is not ripping me off. I mean if he were why go through the whole charade of having a health issue with a family member? Just drop out of site..unless he/she had other trades going on and didn't want me to blow his.her cover. I totally understand family issues. When my aunt died I had to go home for the funeral and missed out shipping an item I sold - I messaged the guy right before the funeral. He was totally understanding - I don't get not even replying to me. It takes two seconds and he has to see he has messages from me. I understand being distraught or upset about health issues - but just tell me. This silence just leaves me to believe the worst.

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Glad that it worked out for you, and the other party. I know some genuine issues do arise, and I hope things work out for him as well.

Glad it worked out for you.

I recently did a deal with groebuck and everything went smoothly. Great guy to deal with.

So it's been 9 days since you said they were shipping the item. Any updates or what?