No more Xbox 360...

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my old man would do shit like this too. grounding, etc never worked on me. Now I look back and thank god he did or else I might have ended up like so many of those sketchy degenerates I see everywhere.
 
Now THAT is parenting.

At some point you have to stop being a "friend" to kids and be the authority.

All these little coddled psychos I've suffered with through the years that are running around prove that. If someone would have told them NO in their life maybe they'd have turned out better instead of thinking the world owes them something and that there's no consequences for their actions.

I know I had a strict upbringing and when I acted up and lost a privilege, toy or whatever, I came to realize that it was my actions that caused it.

Your kids may have finally learned the lesson of consequences. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about it. You're kids are better off in the long run.
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I just want to point out that there are a lot of pansies in this thread.


+10000 internets to the OP.
 
It's your job to be a parent.... that does NOT mean "best friend".

I'm a firm believer that a little bit of fear goes a long way. I was scared to death of what my Grandfather would do if I significantly misbehaved (Farmer, WWII / Korea Vet). To this day I consider myself blessed to have been had a man of that caliber in my life. You ALWAYS knew where you stood with him ::: chuckles in retrospect :::

I stripped my daughters room (7 years old at that time) to a bed (yes I included sheets, comforter), dresser, and closet for clothes. All stuffed animals, toys, Computer... all if was packed up and moved out. She had to earn everything back (took her about 4 months too). Multiple warnings, groundings, "carrot dangling", encouragement, "booster talks" did not seem to soak in.... This did :)

Now she definately knows when she is starting to cross that line, and we may have to do it again (hopefully not, but who knows). It's not our job to coddle, "feel good all the time / feelings should never be hurnt", darling little angel nonsense. I have no desire to be her "best friend" at this time in her life. If thats part of being the best parent that I can for her, thats great, but if not...... oh well. The "best friend" part will come later.
 
AVT said:
TheBluePill: Still curious as to why you ever bought them the Xbox to begin with. Why not make the kids earn money & buy it themselves if they wanted it so badly?
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Fail said:
I agree, then they wouldn't be whiny little bitches
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AVT said:
Exactly! Beyond that, it'd get them to learn to manage their money early on, so they wouldn't end up maxing out credit cards the day they turn 21.
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Hmm. What's missing from these assumptions is the fact that everything changed once they got the Xbox. No other toy or activity (or carrot or stick) held their attention the way that system did. Am I right, BluePill?

I'm not an supporter of the general notion that video games = sociopathic behaviour but there is clearly an addiction here that would have been difficult to predict by any parent. And arguably impossible to correct rationally.

I can't imagine the sense of entitlement these guys would have had if they'd actually earned the right to buy their crack. And now some people are suggesting we should let them buy their way back from rehab?
 
MiG31_Foxhound said:
Not suggesting drugs to take care of something that shallow. But the symptoms may indicate a greater underlying problem. One must think of all possibilities. Take your own advice and read in detail what the OP said. These kids wouldn't respond - to anything. That's not normal. People have mechanisms by which they can be manipulated. If they aren't present, or don't appear to be, there may be something preventing their functioning. And destroying something is innately violent. You display a lot of emotion, and I respect that, but you don't seem very intelligent.
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At some point one needs to stop looking for zebra's in a field full of cattle. In reference to the OP and your post, they (the children) would and did respond, but fell back on old behavior. Is there a degree of responsiblilty to the parents to this behavior? Absolutly. However, the children knew that they would / could hold out longer than their parents and the disipline imposed, and did go back to actions / behavior. Sometimes a bit of shock / fear goes a long way to let the lesson soak in and stick.

And destroying something is innately violent. You display a lot of emotion, and I respect that, but you don't seem very intelligent. That sir is a statement of emotion, and lacks intelligence.
 
I had a friend who's dad smashed his SF2 SNES cart on his driver with a hammer once lol.

His brother still ended up being gay.

But goddamn if that hammer trick wasn't metal as hell.
 
Very well done.

Cousin has two teenage boys (14 & 16) who were so obsessed with the PS2 they acted similarly as described.

Dad took them and me out to one of the many shooting areas here with about a dozen targets wrapped in cardboard so they couldn't see what was inside. His explanation was 'We don't want to litter this place with garbage like the other shooters. The cardboard will hold the pieces together. We have to be responsible."

After about 10 minutes of shooting they safetied their weapons and went over to see the damage. The look on their faces was priceless. Dad told them they will never receive a console again while they were under his roof. That was 7 years ago.

Both are in college and doing very well. A lesson well learned I'd say. :)
 
AceGoober said:
Very well done.

Cousin has two teenage boys (14 & 16) who were so obsessed with the PS2 they acted similarly as described.

Dad took them and me out to one of the many shooting areas here with about a dozen targets wrapped in cardboard so they couldn't see what was inside. His explanation was 'We don't want to litter this place with garbage like the other shooters. The cardboard will hold the pieces together. We have to be responsible."

After about 10 minutes of shooting they safetied their weapons and went over to see the damage. The look on their faces was priceless. Dad told them they will never receive a console again while they were under his roof. That was 7 years ago.

Both are in college and doing very well. A lesson well learned I'd say. :)
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great story

If my kids act like that, they'll be lucky to see anything under that Christmas tree.
 
i wonder why ''kids'' get so addicted to the point of no return with video games?
 
arr4ws said:
i wonder why ''kids'' get so addicted to the point of no return with video games?
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I strongly recommend "The Brain that Changes Itself," an amazingly readable book on neuroplasticity by Norman Doidge:

Competitive plasticity also explains why our bad habits are so difficult to break or “unlearn.” Most of us think of the brain as a container and learning as putting something in it. When we try to break a bad habit, we think the solution is to put something new into the container. But when we learn a bad habit, it takes over a brain map and prevents the use of that space for “good” habits. That is why “unlearning” is often harder than learning, and why early childhood education is so important–it’s best to get it right early, before the “bad habits” gets the competitive advantage.
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[His rant against PETA in one chapter is sure to please most [H]ardForum members.]
 
Good old Parenting FTW!

If I ever have children, THIS is the way they have to be raised (I was raised pretty much like this, too... strict upbringing), not like most parents do nowadays, where you see 7-8 year olds dominating their parents like they were nothing -it makes me RAGE-.

Well done, OP! They'll thank you later :)
 
srangara said:
Hmm. What's missing from these assumptions is the fact that everything changed once they got the Xbox. No other toy or activity (or carrot or stick) held their attention the way that system did. Am I right, BluePill?

I'm not an supporter of the general notion that video games = sociopathic behaviour but there is clearly an addiction here that would have been difficult to predict by any parent. And arguably impossible to correct rationally.

I can't imagine the sense of entitlement these guys would have had if they'd actually earned the right to buy their crack. And now some people are suggesting we should let them buy their way back from rehab?
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You are correct. I grew up with Games, the Kids had a PS2 at one time (before it kicked the can) and a Wii.. Didnt have but a few problems every now and then. The Xbox is a whole different ball of wax.. not sure i understand why.. maybe its the immersion?
 
MiG31_Foxhound said:
Not suggesting drugs to take care of something that shallow. But the symptoms may indicate a greater underlying problem. One must think of all possibilities. Perhaps you and Jack Thompson can get together and for a quorum of two.Take your own advice and read in detail what the OP said. These kids wouldn't respond - to anything. That's not normal. People have mechanisms by which they can be manipulated. If they aren't present, or don't appear to be, there may be something preventing their functioning. Children learn mechanisms to control and be controlled, they aren't born with them. And destroying something is innately violent. If by innately violent you mean inherently human, I agree. Destroying a console is light years away from destroying something necessary for life. In other words, it's all about perceived degree. I and most of the posters here tend to think your ideas are a tad skewed.You display a lot of emotion, and I respect that, but you don't seem very intelligent.
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You display a lot of pseudo intellectualism which I don't respect but, I give you marks for trying. ;)
 
TheBluePill said:
You are correct. I grew up with Games, the Kids had a PS2 at one time (before it kicked the can) and a Wii.. Didnt have but a few problems every now and then. The Xbox is a whole different ball of wax.. not sure i understand why.. maybe its the immersion?
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Perhaps it's simply their stage in child development. They're at a stage where they only care about themselves.
 
TheBluePill said:
You are correct. I grew up with Games, the Kids had a PS2 at one time (before it kicked the can) and a Wii.. Didnt have but a few problems every now and then. The Xbox is a whole different ball of wax.. not sure i understand why.. maybe its the immersion?
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As somebody who has gone the route of your kids (and my parents doing the same thing as you did) -- I can say it's not about the immersion, it's more of the escapism and the online factor that pulled me in back then. Do your kids play any online games? That might explain it.

Hell, I was addicted to Diablo 2 and it was certainly no graphical power house like the xbox. No, it's usually something else. Online friends, online gaming, escapism, etcetc.

There is no COD:MW2 or Halo 3? I was half expecting those games among the collection given your kid's history.
 
Anyhow, what's next, OP? I'm sure they'll probably ask you -with a very shy and scared tone of voice :p- "Dad... will we have an Xbox again?"

What will you tell them?

RyanLucier said:
In retrospect, I think a better idea would be to keep the video games and give the kids a chance to EARN the money to buy another xbox 360.

For example, rake the leaves, $5... mow the lawn, $5... vacuum and dust, $5... essentially let them work for a good couple months making $5 here, $5 there until they can afford to buy their own xbox 360. They will DEFINITELY react very differently with this machine, and learn a lesson.
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This is a pretty darn good advice, OP... so good, I'd actually keep it in mind if I were you!
 
Good Job!! I spent most of my grade school days playing CS and Planetside... Wish someone would have smashed my PC back then.. Thankfully bodybuilding became my obsession in college!!

EPIC LIFESTYLE TURNAROUND!
 
rsaotome said:
Similar thing happened to me, except with the Atari 2600. Mother smashed it with a crowbar, then hammer, then rock, and finally ran over it with her Harley, put it in a paper bag & gave it back to me with a few curse words & a grin.
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I had my 2600 smashed on the floor as a kid too. I dont recall the specific details of, other than i "refused" to pause a game that didnt have a pause button (as far as i was aware.) Centipede i think it was. I believe it was over the matter of brushing my teeth, which at the time were in a state of falling out anyway and couldnt wait another 5 minutes for me to inevitably lose the game. Several months later, one day i came home from school to find that my parents had purchased an atari 7800 and a couple of games to replace it. I dont recall why exactly, possibly that they admitted to over-reacting.

However, to the original poster; Seeing a console in pieces on the floor has a much greater impact than 'just having it disappear one day.' After hearing what you've said it sounds like the right move to make. Its not just saying im putting my foot down, its showing them that you are willing to go to any measure to correct a problem.

Parents tried taking things away from me as a kid, justly sometimes, and unjustly others. But that didnt serve to ever elicit true corrected behavior on my part, mainly regarding attending/performing well in school in early teen years. Of course that was because my parents refused to see that the source of the problem was for years. (Well that, and the school refused to correct any of those problems when confronted afterwords.)

In this case it sounds like you identified the problem, that the children were becoming obsessed over a toy, and were losing touch with their priorities and responsibilities, and their behavior was escalating in violence over time and tearing the family apart. However, continue to be vigilant, sometimes there is an underlying problem that isnt clearly seen at first. Routing that out is the only way to truly resolve the issue to everyones satisfaction.
 
I was a HUGE game addict all through highschool. If my parents ever smashed my PC/xbox/whatever I probably would have tried to off my self. I'm doing fine in college now and don't regret a bit of my anti-social youth.
 
Reminds me of the time I was 12 or 13 and my mom decided Diablo 1 wasn't age appropriate than she made me play it infront of her and proceeded to cut it in half 20 minutes later.


I would have sold the Xbox, but I get the point you were making.
 
Pretiacruento said:
Anyhow, what's next, OP? I'm sure they'll probably ask you -with a very shy and scared tone of voice :p- "Dad... will we have an Xbox again?"

What will you tell them?



This is a pretty darn good advice, OP... so good, I'd actually keep it in mind if I were you!
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The wife and I discussed this quite a bit. We have decided that until they reach a better level of maturity, we will simply avoid buying them electronics like the xbox and such. We feel strongly that they should earn an expensive toy the "old fashion way" They can get jobs and earn the money one day down the road.

Until then, we are going to stick with more old fashion toys.. Board Games, Bikes, Basketball, soccer. I have a 2 acre Pond out back, and some kayaks.. they can get outside and be boys for a change. They have two awesome Labs to play with too.. Without the distraction, maybe they can take better care of them and spend more time with thier pups. Maybe they will even have some more time for Church stuff.

The Wife went a little further with them and simply removed their TVs and Cable boxes from their rooms (one to be mounted over her garden tub, one in her kitchen) and packed up their Wii and 10 games it had and we sold it to a friend that works with me tonight too.

We are letting them keep their Drums and Guitars, Board Games, Action Figures, Bikes, Balls (the football playing kind, the others havent descended yet..) and are going to leave it at that.

We arent going to reward for doing chores and school work.. that is something they are supposed to do anyways, kudo's for it never got us anywhere it seems.

We will just take it from there.

I have absolutely nothing against games at all... I grew up with the NES.. I still have it and all of my games.. Still play the PC and was more than willing to let them "have it all", but they just werent ready, or, at least no longer able to handle the responsibilities of life on-top of having such a big distraction and point of contention. I will never re-coupe the thousands of dollars i spent on games and hardware.. but thats not the point either, i just want them well adjusted and ready to face this shitty world when they dont have me and their mom anymore.
 
BluePill, I just read through this whole thread and have to say: well done. Impressive show of parenting.

My parents did something similar when I was 11; I was just a total brat and they forced me and my brother to sell our NES and Genesis and all the games. It actually made a pretty good point and forced us to really think about how to approach life. It didn't lead to a radical overnight shift in our behavior but it set the stage for us to understand and appreciate the things we have, and respect the responsibilities that come with all of it.

Then I discovered emulators and it was all for naught. (j/k)
 
TheBluePill said:
You know.. sometimes grounding and talking just doesn't work...
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Right on, man.

In my house, it's the threat of taking away soccer. Sports are my son's life. I could take away TV, computer, and phone for a week, and he'd barely blink an eye, even though he's addicted to all three. Yet I even threaten to not take him to soccer practice, and he either shapes right up, or throws a 15-year-old tantrum, which guarantees it's lost. I haven't even had to threaten to take away a soccer game yet.

Also, now that he has a driver's permit, a simple "stop arguing, or you don't get to drive tomorrow" generally stops the argument cold.

On that note, I must say that since he has become a teenager, I have come to know the true meaning of the word "surly". I wish you all the luck in keeping yours on the straight-and-narrow.
 
TheBluePill said:
The wife and I discussed this quite a bit. We have decided that until they reach a better level of maturity, we will simply avoid buying them electronics like the xbox and such. We feel strongly that they should earn an expensive toy the "old fashion way" They can get jobs and earn the money one day down the road.

Until then, we are going to stick with more old fashion toys.. Board Games, Bikes, Basketball, soccer. I have a 2 acre Pond out back, and some kayaks.. they can get outside and be boys for a change. They have two awesome Labs to play with too.. Without the distraction, maybe they can take better care of them and spend more time with thier pups. Maybe they will even have some more time for Church stuff.

The Wife went a little further with them and simply removed their TVs and Cable boxes from their rooms (one to be mounted over her garden tub, one in her kitchen) and packed up their Wii and 10 games it had and we sold it to a friend that works with me tonight too.

We are letting them keep their Drums and Guitars, Board Games, Action Figures, Bikes, Balls (the football playing kind, the others havent descended yet..) and are going to leave it at that.

We arent going to reward for doing chores and school work.. that is something they are supposed to do anyways, kudo's for it never got us anywhere it seems.

We will just take it from there.

I have absolutely nothing against games at all... I grew up with the NES.. I still have it and all of my games.. Still play the PC and was more than willing to let them "have it all", but they just werent ready, or, at least no longer able to handle the responsibilities of life on-top of having such a big distraction and point of contention. I will never re-coupe the thousands of dollars i spent on games and hardware.. but thats not the point either, i just want them well adjusted and ready to face this shitty world when they dont have me and their mom anymore.
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That's an excellent idea! I repeat, it's great to see old-fashioned parenting practices being applied nowadays -which seem long forgotten-.

I always hear people say "Nah, there's no manual for parenting, you have to do it your way", "nobody really knows how one should raise a child"... but I personally think THAT's the way to raise a kid. It worked on me back then, it worked on your kids, it WORKS.

Keep up the good work, dad! ;)
 
Good job man, that was absolutely the right decision.

You know what else you can do while you're on the subject of teaching them the value of money? Why not teach them not just "ok you work for X amount of dollars so you can buy Y item you want"

Why not teach them investing and how to invest their money to make more money? That can be their new game.

Then when you're 60 and your back is giving out, your babies done turned into the Buffett Twins
 
You should of made them each take a swing at it before you did. That way they know that they each had a hand in its demise.[/QUOTE]

As a parent whose oldest teen is falling into the Xbox CoD trap I totally agree. He is again getting poor grades in math after $3G worth of private schooling in the summer. If it wasn't for his younger brother who is doing just fine in high school I'd get them each to take a swing but that wouldn't be fair. Considering both teenagers used to play PC games (and I built and constantly upgrade 3 smokin' PC's to do it [H-folding too:p] ) and we had no problems until the Xbox (well maybe just parental controls on WoW-crack) I hafta wonder what to do next. Sanctions aren't always the answer, especially if both parents aren't on the same work schedules. Kids are crafty and will play 'he said - she said' etc. Letting one play while the other doesn't just builds resentment and creates other problems, especially since I decided to get them to earn their Xbox Live time by buying their own timecards with money earned doing reffing jobs, etc. Tough call but if I have to I'll break out the "ol' persuader" too and auction off the extras...
 
Great parenting scar your children. Why didn't you just buy a broken one and smash that one and hide the working one? Genius...
 
Wow, that’s pretty sad that your word apparently carries almost no weight to the extent that it takes acts of borderline lunacy to actually get their attention. Are you sure you are setting the right example or did you just teach them that smashing things is how you deal with stuff when you get mad?

Maybe it’s just hard for me to relate since I was one of the seemingly few people who grew up actually respecting and obeying their parents. The fact that they didn’t try to use me as their little slave laborer under the guise of “chores” might have had a lot to do with why I never felt the need to misbehave.

If you’re doing it right it shouldn’t take more than “the look” from you for your children to know you mean business. You could have just taken the Xbox and hooked it up to your bedroom television or something… or are they so misbehaved that they would have broken into your room to get it? There is just no reason to pointlessly destroy technology.

I also feel very sorry for all these children out there with these "parents aren't supposed to be your friend" parents. I had a great relationship with both of my parents the whole time I was growing up and I wouldn't trade that for anything, reading all these comments make me want to go hug them right now thinking about how much worse my childhood could have been if they shared the thoughts expressed by many here.
 
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TheBluePill said:
Trust me.. it was a long time coming. Further more, some kids need a wake-up call and disposing of a "toy" that has become a focus of their lives is a really good one. Some kids just need to be a little shocked back into reality.
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Yes but there are ways of disposing of troublesome toys that don't involve a) making yourself look mentally deranged and b) throwing good money down the drain. Simply sell the offending toy and make the kids be present when the new owner carts it home or take it to goodwill (again, with kids in tow) and receive a tax voucher for your donation.

The message you're sending to your children with your antics now is when you don't get your way that it's perfectly acceptable to throw a shit fit and destroy things. Not exactly the best example of how to act.
 
To all the internet psychologists and pseudo-intellectuals: shut the fuck up. Seriously.

These aren't your children. They're the OP's children.
The 360 wasn't the OP's children's. It was the OP's.
Nothing would hold the attention of these kids except the machine. He smashed it with a sledgehammer, thereby getting their attention and gave them a stern lecture.

With your supposed pansy ass methods of handling the situation, nothing would have changed. Send them to their room? Ground them? OP said all ordinary measures had been taken. I am willing to bet the people apologetic to the OP's misbehaving kids were born with a silver spoon in their collective mouths. Probably also the same people to also complain when someone disciplines their child by rearing them in public when they act up.

Yep, OP, you had it all wrong, you were supposed to let it continue as usual. Just let them ignore reality, fail school, etc... :rolleyes: My girlfriend's siblings (who are way younger) are spoiled rotten and while she is well adjusted; her parents have gotten soft over the years and many days of doors slamming and crying tantrums because of back talk or someone can't get a 360 game or new video card... gets old quick.

The OP did what he had to do.
 
I hope you did it right in front of them. This way they could see the carnage of their beloved XBOX360.

Good work man. =)
 
hopefully you didnt yell before breaking it, I was watching an episode of COPS the other day and some guy got arrested for yelling at his wife and breaking a lamp. The cops said you cannot break equipment/property during the heat of a argument (something along those lines).

At that age, I was definitely addicted to video games, but I knew I had to do my chores and my part in order to get new games. I mowed the lawn, not only that, I mowed my neighbor's lawns in order to earn money to buy new games (but not new gas :X ).

I cant think of a better way then to let your frustration out and make a point.

Can't wait to hear what the results are like a week to a month down the road.
 
People respond to actions, not words.

The "best behaved kids" in my experience had parents who werent always yelling, beating them, threatening, etc.. The parents would just think before they spoke, and followed through on what they said.

Every time I see kids going off the wall, whether in person or on these "bad kid" tv shows, the parents are constantly talking and yelling all sorts of nonsense, i.e. "you better pick that up or you'll be sorry, if you dont buck up your grades im gonna ground your ass for the next millenium" etc . Kids are smart enough to begin rolling their eyes at such bullshit, and then the parents are perplexed as to why "they just dont listen anymore".

If you had a boss that would constantly threaten you about things, then never follow through - how would you act? Like other posters have said, at that age kids have a high sense of self-importance - having these "displays of emotion" isnt going to be affective - they dont care that you are mad, especially when you are being a jerk in their eyes. If you want your kids to listen to what you say, then say things that are true and follow through on them. Have them agree on their responsibilities, and what will happen when they fail to live up to them. Discipline is about enforcing the rules, not constantly changing them because you didnt take the time work them out in the first place.
 
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