French Bread Shuts Down the Large Hadron Collider

H

HardOCP News

[H] News
Joined
Dec 31, 1969
Messages
0
Seriously, you can’t possibly make this stuff up.

The bird dropped some bread on a section of outdoor machinery, eventually leading to significant over heating in parts of the accelerator. The LHC was not operational at the time of the incident, but the spike produced so much heat that had the beam been on, automatic failsafes would have shut down the machine.
Click to expand...
 
savoirfaire said:
Maybe the bird was an agent from the future...
Click to expand...

LOL. Good one.

Seriously how big was this bread and how big was this bird. I mean its "outdoor" machinery. You would think the word "outdoor" would at least be a prerequisite for some sort of durability.
 
Cool. Our own black hole courtesy of Wonder Bread. I always knew there was something wrong with that stuff :)
 
Just be thankful there was no jam on the bread, we would all be dead now.
 
Good thing they didn't turn the beam on. Giant bread mutants would be roaming the country side. :eek:
 
Funny that a bird did what Dr Hicheur, who worked on the collider and wanted to work for Al-Qaea, could not...
 
VIC-20 said:
Funny that a bird did what Dr Hicheur, who worked on the collider and wanted to work for Al-Qaea, could not...
Click to expand...
The bird was obviously part of a terrorist sleeper cell, and was trained by the best.
 
<<Alien Tourist Flying By>>
And to your right the 5th wonder of the Universe, the largest piece of bread you'll ever see. No one knows who made it or how it got there.
 
Kinda sad on the deigners part. You have a multi-billion dollar piece of equipment that can be shutdown but a chunk of bread stuck in outdoor machinery. Now anyone who wants it down for good knows that all they have to do is train pigeons to drop bread on all the machinery lol.
 
.. Based on their attack trajectory, we think we have identified the target. There is a weakness...
 
But the LHC is required in the future to travel back in time to prevent it from coming online in the past, I mean the present, I mean...Don't sleep with that chick McFly, it's your mom!
 
We won't see the effects of the LHC until they activate it in 3 different time periods.
 
BladeVenom said:
I think the improbability of this lends credence to the theory that the collider is being sabotaged by its own future. http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/13/science/space/13lhc.html?8dpc
Click to expand...

On a lighter note, this quote sounded like something straight out of the Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy.

“It must be our prediction that all Higgs producing machines shall have bad luck,” Dr. Nielsen said in an e-mail message. In an unpublished essay, Dr. Nielson said of the theory, “Well, one could even almost say that we have a model for God.” It is their guess, he went on, “that He rather hates Higgs particles, and attempts to avoid them.”
Click to expand...
 
duh, they should have put a system in place that tracks all wildlife by radar then targets them with a laser guided turret and eliminates them before they can do damage..

j/k dont hurt the furry animals
 
bucket said:
But the LHC is required in the future to travel back in time to prevent it from coming online in the past, I mean the present, I mean...Don't sleep with that chick McFly, it's your mom!
Click to expand...

Back to the Future!
 
the LHC will turn on, it will make a tiny black hole for about 10 nanoseconds and then it will shut off. this will eventually lead to continuous operation, the world will make about 100 of these things and everyone on the planet will have access to nearly free energy.
 
krupted said:
the LHC will turn on, it will make a tiny black hole for about 10 nanoseconds and then it will shut off. this will eventually lead to continuous operation, the world will make about 100 of these things and everyone on the planet will have access to nearly free energy.
Click to expand...

Zero Point Energy FTW!
 
I just love that CERN can't get a break with the LHC. Mini blackholes, time agents, terrorists, super inttelligent seagulls. hell they even have a gordon freeman lookalike working there. I'm waiting for someone to slip on a banana peel and somhow set them back another 6 months.
 
Ezteh said:
I just love that CERN can't get a break with the LHC. Mini blackholes, time agents, terrorists, super inttelligent seagulls. hell they even have a gordon freeman lookalike working there. I'm waiting for someone to slip on a banana peel and somhow set them back another 6 months.
Click to expand...

Bannana peel? the radiation alone will cost them 2 years to clean up:eek:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top