Top Ten Pointless Research Projects

H

HardOCP News

[H] News
Joined
Dec 31, 1969
Messages
0
I complain regularly about stupid research grants but, as far as I know, none of the things I have ever complained about were as bad as the stuff on this list. Although I laughed, the cure for hiccups does have me a bit worried. A bit of a new approach to the ol’ “surprise the person with hiccups” method. :eek:

More than that, though, it might bring an end to the quirky, sometimes daft, sometimes weirdly inspired research that brings harmless entertainment and occasional enlightenment to armchair boffins and science nerds everywhere.
Click to expand...
 
You guys just made my day. Funniest stuff ever.

"The Effect of Country Music on Suicide"

I can not stop laughing. *sigh*

Thanks [H]ard. You will never know how much I needed that.
 
Research on Penguin Deuce Dropping Trajectories? Who was doing that research, the DoD?
 
mecdrox said:
You guys just made my day. Funniest stuff ever.

"The Effect of Country Music on Suicide"

I can not stop laughing. *sigh*

Thanks [H]ard. You will never know how much I needed that.
Click to expand...

Country music greatly increases my chances of suicide and murder, god why did i move to Texas?!
 
Lap dancers get higher tips when they are ovulating, winner, Economics, 2008
"Ovulatory Cycle Effects on Tip Earnings by Lap Dancers: Economic Evidence for Human Estrus?" Evolution and Human Behavior, 2007

This research might be hard to put into practical use – unless you’re a lap dancer – but you imagine the (all male) research team put in an awful lot of field work.
Click to expand...

I should have been a scientist. I NEED a research job like that.
 
Thanks Steve! Needed a good laugh today! Awesome... Country music causes suicide - thats fucking great!
 
Lap dancer make more tips when ovulating.

Don't the "girls" swell at this time ;)
 
Hmm, guess Weird Al was on to something when he wrote "Achy Breaky Song" :)
 
damn this is why I am bummed I left the research field for the medical field. I don't get to do any of these amazing "experiments" anymore :D
 
Well the Woodpecker one did pose an interesting question.

The gay necrophiliac ducks on the other hand........
 
"Rats can’t always tell the difference between Japanese spoken backwards and Dutch spoken backwards"

I can't stop laughing at this one. :D
 
A number of years ago, the US government gave a $300,000 research grant to figure out who spends more time in public washrooms, men or women. They watched and timed 4 public washrooms for one week.
The conclusion: Men spend more time at urinals than women spend on toilets. For $300k I would have told them the amount urinated and how many words were spoked by each sex during the visit to the washroom.

It's amazing where money is wasted.

As for getting rid of REGULAR hiccups...
hold your breath, and using your muscles, not your hands, push your stomach (between the bottom of the rib cage) in and out 3 times. Gets rid of hiccups every time. Reason: Hiccups are your diaphragm being out of sync with your lungs. Pushing your stomach in and out "resyncs" this. Now the kicker, I've never been able to get it to work on women, only men...Oh oh, I need half a million dollars to do a study on this......
Just email me and I'll set up the money transfer....
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top