Woot-off Midnight tonight?

AARGH!

Gawd
Joined
Jun 13, 2003
Messages
766
Just got this, 1st time I've seen a pre-warning for a Woot-off. Funny though...

WOOT, INC. INTERNAL EMAIL
STAFF EYES ONLY

Attention Woot employees -

We are now entering the final phase of preparations for the Woot-Off planned for midnight tonight. This is when we depart from our usual deal-a-day model and sell one product after another, offering a new deal as soon as the previous one sells out. For some reason, Woot members like XXXXXX continue to have high expectations for this event. We must make every effort to ensure that they feel disappointed and betrayed.

All workers should be physically and mentally straining to make this Woot-Off a success, like every muscle in a wolf's body strains to capture and devour its prey. We expect total compliance with the following objectives:

* Make sure the stables are thoroughly cleaned and the horses properly groomed and shod. As you know, Commander Rutledge prefers to lead us on horseback during Woot-Offs. Charge!
* Customer Service department: all vacation requests for this week and next are approved. If you have not filed a vacation request, take one anyway.
* The little green pills in the kitchen are there to keep you alert and working. Take as many as you need. Officially, Woot does not believe in the concept of "overdose".
* Take at least one of our servers offline, just for laughs.
* Go to the landfill and dig up some more Sansa media players. If you see any Digipro Graphics Tablets (and you will), grab those, too.
* Place crap bags in company latrines so those orders can be "filled". To this end, the company will provide free lunch today from El Feo, the filthiest burrito joint in Dallas. Do your worst, guys.
* Neutralize all negative thinking among our members. We simply cannot tolerate any more posts like "do not want" or "Woot-Off killer". If electronic means like word filters and IP bans do not work, we must reactivate the rapid-response teams to physically eliminate all threats to our reputation.
* Last time, spot checks revealed that approximately 25% of products shipped are broken, incomplete, or excessively dirty. This is unacceptable. For this Woot-Off, defective shipments must make up at least 40%.
* Remind SmartPost that there's no need to hurry on these orders. Prompt delivery makes our customers spoiled and argumentative. Let them learn humility and gratitude while they wait.


Above all, we must strive to make this Woot-Off even more tedious, disappointing, and lucrative than the last one. The employee who achieves the most toward this end will be rewarded with one brown Zune. Second place: two brown Zunes.

Forward into battle! Remember: to give one's life for Woot is glorious!

Larry Stalin
eCommerce eKommissar
Woot, Inc.

THIS EMAIL WILL SELF-DESTRUCT IN 90 SECONDS
 
At least they're able to laugh about how crappy Woot-offs have gotten.
 
Lol, great email. Wootoff confirmed! I need a bandoleer of carrots!! I always get shut out !!
 
My first and only BOC was a backpack, 2 matchbox cars, key ring and x20 headphone adapters........................................................................................................ I was soooooo stoked. So I pretty much got a 10 dollar keyring.
 
Maybe this one won't suck?

I'm gonna order a bag of crap!
 
Second place: two brown Zunes.

Well I guess they've got to do something with the brown ones.. I like my zune but even I'd use an ipod before owning a turd zune and I HATE apple.
 
I'm signed up for the newsletter, but didn't get one :(

At least the team that does Woot's writing for their e-mails and product descriptions can be counted on to provide amusement. :D
 
Oh boy, I can't wait for a line-up of useless crap and a couple interesting things that I can get for cheaper elsewhere.

I really don't know why people bother with it anymore, half the time they don't even put a BOC up,and when they do it's only by a stroke of luck that you'll get one. It's not worth 24 hours of disappointment and headaches if you ask me.
 
Oh boy, I can't wait for a line-up of useless crap and a couple interesting things that I can get for cheaper elsewhere.

I really don't know why people bother with it anymore, half the time they don't even put a BOC up,and when they do it's only by a stroke of luck that you'll get one. It's not worth 24 hours of disappointment and headaches if you ask me.

qtf. I've been through two woot off and came away with nothing both times. Not worth the trouble.
 
Above all, we must strive to make this Woot-Off even more tedious, disappointing, and lucrative than the last one. The employee who achieves the most toward this end will be rewarded with one brown Zune. Second place: two brown Zunes.

THIS EMAIL WILL SELF-DESTRUCT IN 90 SECONDS

Priceless...
 
I predict a series of vacuum cleaners, sansas that we already have, televisions that you can find cheaper at Costco, and car emergency kits.

Takers?
 
qtf. I've been through two woot off and came away with nothing both times. Not worth the trouble.

The trouble of sitting at your computer and hitting the "refresh" button?

I wouldn't advise anyone to do the Woot-Off just for the bag of crap anyway. Most of them are worthless, at least mine was. But they do tell you that, so I can't complain.
 
The trouble of sitting at your computer and hitting the "refresh" button?

I wouldn't advise anyone to do the Woot-Off just for the bag of crap anyway. Most of them are worthless, at least mine was. But they do tell you that, so I can't complain.

It's actually just the trouble constantly checking the page and worrying that the time you spent away would cost you something you really want. I don't have to click on the refresh button that often because I use mywoot.net
 
worrying that the time you spent away would cost you something you really want.

That right there is exactly why woot is as profitable as it is.They have you convinced that need or want any of their refurbed/returned crap.

Sure it might be a great deal every once in a while, but a majority of woot's and woot off's have been crap. And they will continue to be crap until people stop buying said crap.

I however will not hold my breath in anticipation of that day.

And whats even worse is that they know that the woot off's have been crap, they are even making fun of it in the email. And this woot off will be no different.
 
haha that's hilarious. props to woot for having a sense of humor.
 
I'll have to keep an eye on it tomorrow morning (not gonna stay up for a woot off)
 
You have to wonder if they're going to make this Woot-Off worth the time since they publicly admitted that it's been crap lately.

On the other hand, that's probably what they want people to think after reading that e-mail so that they'll check out the Woot-Off. Or not.

I hate psychology.
 
atleast this time we'll know it's coming.

the last couple of woot-off's i found about the day after.....
 
dumb question, this will be on the woot site right? also midnight where?
 
lol.. classic. good for woot having some fun and letting us in on the impending wootoff.
 
I have that Netgear wireless adapter and it sucks. It constantly drops my connection. I need a new wireless adapter!
 
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