Apple's Amazing New Patent

iShoe?
Next patent up: Smart Toliet paper, with built in sensors that alert when you are clean!
 
The new iSole from Apple. So much comfort from such a little sole. $299 per shoe.
iSole Mini coming in the fall for the kids $239 per shoe.
 
lol, I thought the article was going to be about how Apple patented the shape of shoes! :p
 
Makes sense... Apple users are like lemmings.. they need to be told when to do things.

Now only if they can put this technology into brake pads so our wives know when it's time to change them... oh wait. nm.
 
Hey at least this isn't a retarded "our rectangular screens have rounded corners" patent. This is actually something that is "useful"... well to idiots that need to spend excess amounts of money because they're overly worried they might be walking on shoes that need to be replaced and are too stupid to just look at the soles.

So how's that Apple stock doing? ooooh yeah ok this explains a lot.
 
This is how I know:

dsc03028wj3.jpg


See the "sensors" sticking out???

"Apple. Serving tards one asinine invention at a time"
 
Seems like we are going to have the situation like we have with printer ink. Expiration dates and even a never ending buzz or beep until you go spend $500 on a new pair. Soon People will start going barefoot because the average man can't afford shoes that only last 6 months. It will create a back market of shoes without sensores. If caught with these shoes you are cast out from society to live with the animals and other undesirables.

While in the woods you learn that mankind is free here. Not bound by laws to weigh him down and belittle him. Nature offers a peace that you have yet to witness before. With no distraction from the media and other electronic social machines you make good friends and strong bonds that last a lifetime. Forming something that was lost to common people early in the century. You found a mate that you actually stay with till the end of life because the nights are cold and your home gets lonely in the winter months.

All this due to these godforsaken shoes. A blessing or a curse is a derision that will be made fruitful at the iShoe store.

I could have got a lot more in there but I am doing this on a phone on break at work.
 
So theyll be like the Apple earbuds.... Ugly as hell, white color only, uncomfortable as a pair of bricks, function like dead goat asses, and get you mugged.
 
This sounds like a high-tech solution to a problem that doesn't exist... at least in the presence of common sense.
 
Dr.Diablo said:
Seems like we are going to have the situation like we have with printer ink. Expiration dates and even a never ending buzz or beep until you go spend $500 on a new pair. Soon People will start going barefoot because the average man can't afford shoes that only last 6 months. It will create a back market of shoes without sensores. If caught with these shoes you are cast out from society to live with the animals and other undesirables.

While in the woods you learn that mankind is free here. Not bound by laws to weigh him down and belittle him. Nature offers a peace that you have yet to witness before. With no distraction from the media and other electronic social machines you make good friends and strong bonds that last a lifetime. Forming something that was lost to common people early in the century. You found a mate that you actually stay with till the end of life because the nights are cold and your home gets lonely in the winter months.

All this due to these godforsaken shoes. A blessing or a curse is a derision that will be made fruitful at the iShoe store.

I could have got a lot more in there but I am doing this on a phone on break at work.
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Moar please!
 
-Kap- said:
This sounds like a high-tech solution to a problem that doesn't exist... at least in the presence of common sense.
Click to expand...

just reminds me of the common apple user comments.. "it solved all these problems i didn't even know i had!"
 
Dr.Diablo said:
Seems like we are going to have the situation like we have with printer ink. Expiration dates and even a never ending buzz or beep until you go spend $500 on a new pair. Soon People will start going barefoot because the average man can't afford shoes that only last 6 months. It will create a back market of shoes without sensores. If caught with these shoes you are cast out from society to live with the animals and other undesirables.

While in the woods you learn that mankind is free here. Not bound by laws to weigh him down and belittle him. Nature offers a peace that you have yet to witness before. With no distraction from the media and other electronic social machines you make good friends and strong bonds that last a lifetime. Forming something that was lost to common people early in the century. You found a mate that you actually stay with till the end of life because the nights are cold and your home gets lonely in the winter months.

All this due to these godforsaken shoes. A blessing or a curse is a derision that will be made fruitful at the iShoe store.

I could have got a lot more in there but I am doing this on a phone on break at work.
Click to expand...

You need to write a book!
 
In the Accessories aisle of the iShoe Store you'll find things like:

Matching iShoe Thong and socks
Toe Covers to type with your toes
Sharper Image iShoe Footrest w/ charger
Dr. Scholls iBunion Cushions
Lotrimin iF Anti‑fungal for Series2 iShoes
Revlon iToenail Nippers
 
Kelter said:
Makes sense... Apple users are like lemmings.. they need to be told when to do things.

Now only if they can put this technology into brake pads so our wives know when it's time to change them... oh wait. nm.
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Yes we're all morons and have never done anything ourselves.

This "ragging on people because of their technological preferences" is getting not only old, but REALLY, REALLY FUCKING OLD.
 
because turning the shoe over or inspecting it as you place it on your foot is way too much work.
 
For those who wanted me to write a book. I will have a thread in Genmay of the one I am writing just for giggles.
 
No way this is real. I have a hard time believing a tech company could be doing something this stupid. Maybe it's one of those secret projects given to the n00bs to see if they are trustworthy and competent.
 
I'm going to make a promise, if I see you using shoes like this I'm going to walk up and bitch slap you until you realize the error of your ways.
 
Master [H];1039547562 said:
You have got to be kidding me?

Are people this stupid?
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Did you really just ask that?

Yes, people are that stupid.

Stupid enough to not know how to tell when they need new shoes.

Stupid enough to shell out money for something that tells you it is "worn out", so you have to buy a new pair.

What happens when the sensor breaks? Will people keep wearing the shoes until they completely dissinigrate?

Buyer of shoes - "These shoes are really lasting a long time! Apple is the greatest EVAR!".
Other person who buys regular shoes - "Umm.. dude, you might need new shoes.. you are only wearing a torn up foot covering with no sole."
 
BiH115 said:
Yes we're all morons and have never done anything ourselves.

This "ragging on people because of their technological preferences" is getting not only old, but REALLY, REALLY FUCKING OLD.
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Sure there are a lot of people around here who beat this dead horse to a pulp, but with patents like these--you can at least understand why lol
 
Don't have enough status symbols to quantify how much money you're willing to waste and to prove how much of a dumbass you really are? These are your shoes!
 
Who even wears shoes? Skribbels think bare paws are best and slippers or sandals are second best. Socks with sandals are okay too if you're at the office and you have to move servers between racks because you don't want to run over your toe with the wheeled chair you put the server onto.
 
While an Apple-branded pair of basketball shoes may be far off, similar technology is already being used by major brands like Nike to track athletes' performance.
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In a way I found that the most telling part of the whole article. I wonder if this could be more of the Apple, "I have a patent and now I sue you" shenanigans. :rolleyes:
 
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